Wake up Under the Sun

You always hear about how the summers in Arizona are the worst during the day but you never hear about how amazing the nights can be. If you find the right spot, it’s breezy and cool instead of still, stale air left over from the heat of the day. The endless horizon seemed to be infinitely lighter than the dark of the sky directly above me but something about it was mysterious and beautiful. And all of the stars were visible, something I wasn’t entirely used to yet.

I was sitting outside, waiting for John to pick me up for the night. It amazed me how quickly I learned all about John O’Callaghan. I found out he was the quiet kid in school, he wasn’t as much of a leader as he seemed to be, he was actually very shy when he performed on stage with his band, and most of all he was hardly ever on time for anything. So it was no surprise when Kennedy’s car pulled into my driveway and he stuck his head out the window, calling out for me to get in.

“John sent us to get you because he was busy setting up and lost track of time,” Kennedy informed me once I was seat belted in.

I turned slightly, noticing Pat sitting in the backseat. I smiled and waved before turning forward again. “Setting up what?”

“Our jam session,” Kennedy responded. “It’s kind of a big hangout, like the night we met you but bigger. It’s not in John’s backyard this time.”

“It’s in the desert,” Pat piped up.

“We’re going to sit in the desert at night?” I questioned. I may not have been in Arizona for a few years but even I knew sitting in the middle of nowhere at night was never a good idea in Arizona. I wasn’t about to chance my life with wildlife.

“It’s not in the desert,” Kennedy laughed. “It’s this spot we found off of I-10.”

As they went back and forth discussing the technicalities of whether or not this spot was located in the desert or not, I stared out the windshield, their voices blurring together as we drove deeper into the darkness. A bright light came into view a little while later. There were a handful of cars lined up around a very bright fire and I could see dozens of people sitting around already.

“Come on, Delaney!” Pat cheered, hopping out of the car before Kennedy could even take his keys out of the ignition.

I sheepishly followed along beside Kennedy, approaching a group of people I had never met before. Kennedy did most of the introductions but something felt off about this group. Maybe it was because I had grown so attached to the people I had already met and become friends with. Maybe I was just being ridiculous but something was definitely off about the setting, like something was going to go terribly wrong.

“Laney,” I heard from behind me. I turned in time to see John sliding off the hood of his truck.

He towered over me with a goofy, crooked grin on his face. His arm fell over my shoulders and he tugged me closer to his side. He led me around the group, circling close to the fire. I noticed they were cooking hamburgers and hotdogs over the fire and a few feet away by the coolers were a stack of Hershey’s chocolate, marshmallows and boxes of graham crackers.

“Want a s’more?” John offered, shaking my shoulder slightly. “Beer? Hamburger? Anything?”

“I’ll have a hamburger, I guess,” I said sheepishly.

John’s crooked smile crept back onto his face. “Beer?”

Before I could respond, he was twisting the cap off a bottle and pushing it into my hands. He began putting together a hotdog and a hamburger, adding condiments and all of the toppings laid out. He bit into his hotdog before handing me the hamburger.

I wasn’t as talkative as I had been in John’s backyard or any other time hanging out with them after that. I sat on the hood of John’s truck and simply observed, taking everything in. These people were much more active in the party scene than I had seen from the boys, and therefore they had more stories to tell of wild nights and scary run-ins. One of the new guys was in the middle of telling a story about one night over spring break when he had drank too much and ended up running from the police for half an hour when someone climbed up onto the hood with me.

“What’s going on, Laney?” John asked as he leaned back against the windshield and folded his hands against his stomach.

“Nothing, what do you mean?” I said, trying my best to pretend I wasn’t on to what he was saying.

“You’re so quiet,” he mentioned casually. “You’re not a quiet girl, so I’m a little worried. You okay?”

I sighed softly and leaned against the windshield with him. He draped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to him yet again. I hesitantly rested my head on his shoulder and looked up at the stars above us.

“I kinda feel like things are going too good,” I told him. “I never really had guy friends before I left or when I lived in Oklahoma. Now all of a sudden I have all of these friends. I guess I’m just waiting for you to realize I’m not that great and leave.”

“I don’t get it. Why would we just suddenly realize ‘hey she sucks, lets go’ and leave? You’re obviously a great girl, Delaney,” John said, the confusion evident in his voice.

“I guess it’s kind of like.. You have all of these great friends all over the place, and I’m the awkward one with nothing to contribute,” I said slowly.

“You’re kind of ridiculous sometimes, Laney,” John laughed, ruffling my hair. “You need to forget those thoughts. You’re not awkward and we all love you and are happy to have you as our friend.”

I figured it would be best to leave it at that. I didn’t want to burden him with my added insecurities; I didn’t want to scare him away. It was nice having someone be that extra push. Lex tried to get me to be social but it always ended up in me protesting and not going out at all, but now I had made a solid bond with some genuine people and I didn’t mind being sociable.

John kept his arm around me even as he joined the group conversation. I kept an open ear to the conversation should anyone direct anything toward me but my main focus remained on the sky. We were far enough away from the city that a fairly decent amount of stars could be seen and constellations could easily be pointed out.

A warm, gentle breeze rustled the food wrappers and caused the fire to flicker. As a wave of goosebumps rose up my arms, I felt John’s hot breath against my cheek. I looked over at him but by the time my eyes met his, one of the girls’ voices broke through the loud chattering.

“Uh, Johno?”

John snapped his head in her direction. “Huh?”

“Is anyone else supposed to be coming?” she asked skeptically.

My heart sank into my stomach, my muscles constricted and I knew this was the bad thing I feared hours ago. Everyone dropped what they were doing instantly, a thick silence fell onto all of us. John and I sat up at the same time, looking down the road at the oncoming headlights. Then we were drowning in red and blue.

Dirt was kicked up and onto the fire, coolers were being snatched up and shoved into backseats, car doors were slammed all over. John grabbed my wrist, yanked me off the hood and pushed me into the truck through the driver’s side. I couldn’t even scramble into the passenger seat before he had the truck on and driving away.

We were heading north on I-17, meaning we were leaving Phoenix. The cops weren’t following us but that didn’t slow John down any. His hands gripped the wheel tighter than I’d ever seen him hold it before; his eyebrows were stitched together in intense concentration. His chest rose and fell rapidly and I could almost feel his heart pounding. I turned the volume to the radio up a little to hopefully ease his mind, then settled into the cracked leather seat.

We had been driving in silence for a little over two hours when John finally said, “That was probably the worst and scariest moment of my life.”

“So I take it that whole hangout was illegal,” I said coolly.

“Pretty fucking much,” he laughed. “You need a permit to have a bonfire I guess, since it’s so dry here. I have no idea how they could have found out we were having a fire, though. We made sure no one lived anywhere near that spot so the smoke wouldn’t be visible.”

I stifled a yawn as I shook my head. “Where are we going, anyway?”

“I missed the first couple exits that would bring us home, so I just kept driving. Then I just decided to take you somewhere,” he explained with a shrug.

My head rolled lazily to the side so I was facing him. When he laughed, I was sure the look on my face was anything but amused. “It’s, like, 4 in the morning. What could be open?”

“We’ve got another 40 minutes, Lane. Take a nap,” he said softly.

He pulled his knees up to the steering wheel and let go so he could remove his sweatshirt. He let it fall over my legs and part of my stomach before he took hold of the wheel again. I wasn’t keen on the idea of taking a nap at 4 in the morning but once I had the warmth of his jacket over me I had no control over my fluttering eyelids.

***

“Laney,” I heard John whisper. I stirred slightly, pulling the jacket tighter around me. He poked me a few times and then resorted to pinching me.

“Ouch,” I whined, pushing his hands away from my arm.

“You’re drooling,” he laughed.

I glared at him before turning my back to him, checking myself out in the side mirror. I had been drooling. Awesome.

“Wait, the sun’s rising,” I said suddenly, turning quickly to face him again. He smiled softly. “How long have we been here?”

“An hour and a half I think,” he replied nonchalantly. “You looked content, I didn’t want to wake you up. Lex says you’re a monster sometimes.”

I made a face and shook my head. “What, do you guys just talk about me behind my back all the time?”

He laughed under his breath, pushing his door open and stepping out of the truck. “You’d be surprised,” he casually said before the door slammed.

I huffed as I pulled on his jacket and hopped out of the truck. There was a sign a couple of yards away that said we were at Walnut Canyon in Flagstaff, Arizona. I shuffled over beside John, my hands buried in the pockets, and watched as the sky burned bright red against the marbled canyon walls. There was something peaceful about this moment. There was no room for conversation, just a wonderful appreciation of the natural occurrences we usually take for granted. The birds were waking up, chirping happily as they celebrated the start of a new, beautiful day, and the air was still cool and refreshing.

“I was thinking about what you said earlier,” John said once the sun had fully risen.

“What’d I say earlier?” I mused.

“About how you’re just waiting for us to leave you,” he reminded me. He paused to look deep into my eyes. He wrapped his skinny arms around me from the side and rested his head on top of mine. “I couldn’t leave you, Delaney. You’re my best friend now, I can’t just abandon you.”