This Dream Isn't Done

“Hello?” I answer my phone.
“Hey, Mike set up a small gig for us over at Claws tonight,” Seth says.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, actually Alex and the guys will be on before us so we can see them!” He says, I can hear his excitement.
“That’s great,” I say, not too happy about this.
“Yeah! So meet there around 6.”
“Okay, see you then.”
We hang up and I hop into the shower as planned. When I finish, I have breakfast and I spend my afternoon practicing.
“Hey!” Ben smiles when I get to the pub.
“Hey, guys,” I reply.
“We’re set to go on at 7:30,” Jackson comes up to tell us.
I nod, “I’m going to have a drink.”
“I’ll join you,” Seth says.
We walk over to the bar and sit down, ordering our drinks.
“So, how have you been since getting home?” I ask Seth.
“Good. Happy to see Amy,” he smiles, “how about you?”
“Happy.”
I hear a guitar and look over, Alex, Jack, Zack and Rian on the stage. I look at my drink, having more. I listen as they perform and I listen to Alex’s voice. They’re on for an hour and we set up. When it’s our time, we begin to perform and I see Alex as I sing. As if he can tell I saw him, he looks at me and we lock eyes. In a minute, a girl with brown hair comes up beside Alex and kisses his cheek. I look away, feeling like I’m violating privacy. We get an hour of stage time and I can’t wait to go home. As I finish packing stuff up with the guys, I feel someone behind me and I know who it is.
“Hey,” I hear and turn around.
“Hey,” I force a smile.
“How are you?”
I’ve been asked this too much lately…
“Great, you?”
“Good,” he smiles.
I nod a little and turn back to the equipment.
“I want you to meet someone,” Alex says.
I sigh as I face him again. The girl walks up, a smile on her face.
“Ashlynn, this is Renee,” he introduces.
Again, I force a smile, “nice to meet you.”
“You too!”
Ah, she seems nice. I’m screwed. I glance at Alex and turn back to finish with the equipment.
“Can you give us a minute?” I hear Alex say. “Ash?”
“Yeah?” I ask as I avoid turning to him.
“Can you turn around?”
“I have to finish with this,” I lie, “I gotta get home.”
“Ash,” he says quietly.
I turn around, a bit annoyed, “what, Alex?”
“Are you okay?”
I laugh, “yes Alex, I’m fantastic.”
He sighs, “what’s wrong?”
“Alex, don’t ask me that. We haven’t seen each other in months, I’m not about to spill my feelings out to you.”
“Aren’t we friends?” Friends!?
“Are we? I don’t know. What happened to you not wanting to be friends?”
“You wanted to remain friends, didn’t you?” He asks.
I stare at him, “I did, yeah. But for a small period of time. You couldn't even give me that.”
I hope he doesn’t hear the past tense of that as I push pass him to the van to help put the stuff in the back. Alex follows. Of course.
“I want us to try to be friends,” Alex says.
“Whatever,” I mutter, “if that’s what you want.”
“It’s not but I rather have you as friend than nothing.”
I look at Alex and sigh, “I gotta go. I’m tired.”
“Will you come over for coffee?” He asks.
“Why?”
“To catch up,” he replies.
I stare at him, come on, Ash... think of ANY lie to tell to not have to go.
“When?”
“Tomorrow?”
I hesitate, not sure if I want to see him again.
“Okay,” I say quietly. Dumbass
He smiles, “see you tomorrow.”
I nod a little and he walks off to find Renee. I remain still, amazed that months ago, Alex was trying anything to be with me and now, he’s with someone else. I say bye to the guys and I go home, wanting to end this day.