You'll Always Find Me

I didn't open my eyes. Not because I couldn't but because I didn't want to. I didn't want to see the people around me, I didn't want to see the harm that had come to my family. I didn't want to see the aftermath of what had happened.

I was scared. I was scared that everything was going wrong and it was my fault. I lay there, listening to people talking to me, my Mom came twice a day, she'd tell me about cleaning the house and feeding my cat. Anything to keep herself talking. I heard my Dad speak too. He'd tell me about his job and how Mom was doing. She was crying every night. She barely slept and barely ate.

But what hurt the most was hearing my Brother. He didn't speak much, he'd tell me he was here and hold my hand. But what really hurt was hearing him cry. He cried for hours while he was alone, he told me that he missed me and that he never meant any of the insults he said.

I felt selfish, keeping myself away from my family. I began to feel small, I didn't listen to the people around me anymore, I just wanted to be back with Andy.

And that's when he showed up,

"Shy. I don't care if you don't respond or if you don't open your eyes. I know you can hear me, I know you've been listening to everyone cry and talk. I can't understand how you can do this, we all need you Shy, please... Just come back"

I felt a breath of life rush into me, I sat bolt up right and screamed. I felt tears running down my face, I was cold and shaking.

"Shilo!" Nick, my Brother, was by my side, he grabbed my hand and held me tight. I cried, relieving all the pain and fear I had felt. He cradled me, letting me cry. I looked around to see Andy but he wasn't there. He must have left again, just as suddenly as he came. I carried on crying into my Brother's shoulder, smelling the familiar scent of Paco Rabanne on him. I don't know how long I cried for, but it was a long time before anyone else showed up. The Nurse was shocked when she saw me, at this stage I was in full flow. She ran back out, bringing a needle and a clear liquid. She injected it into my drip. I slowly felt my body stop shaking and I stopped crying.

"Shilo, do you remember what happened?" I shook my head at my Brothers worried face,

"Do you know where you are?" I shook my head again,

"Do you remember anything?" His voice was desperate, I felt weak again, unsure what was really happening. I remembered the water.

"River" I croaked, I watched as my Brothers eyes as they went from concerned to scared to worried. My voice wasn't strong enough to question him before my parents arrived,

"Shilo? Shilo! Oh my baby is awake!" I heard my Mom burst into tears as she hugged me, my dad too after her. It as a blur after that. Mom and Dad were hugging each other and me, telling me they knew I was strong, they knew I'd pull through.

But all the while, they were keeping something from me, holding back. Only slightly, but enough for me to notice.