I'll Be Damned If You're the Death of Me

I woke up the next morning and it really hit me.

I really fucking missed Danny. I missed him so much it hurt, and it was making me depressed. I felt like all of the life was being sucked out of me.

I got out of the bed and Danny was sitting on the couch with Cameron.

"I thought you told me she wasn't here?" Danny angrily asked Cameron.

"I didn't think she would wake up..." Cameron sulked down in his chair and directed his attention to the TV.

"Bekah I've been fucking worried sick about you!" Danny got up and walked towards me and I stepped back.

"No you weren't."

"I was fucking looking everywhere for you last night. Here, there, even places you would never be."

"Like Alexis' house?"

Danny looked down at my hand. "What's that?"

"A hot guy's number I got at a club last night."

"You know what, I don't fucking need you nor want you anymore, you disgusting little whore. I hope you fucking get knocked up again and pay for all the shit you've fucked up. If you fucking died tomorrow, I wouldn't give a fuck." Danny seethed at me and slammed the door on his way out.

"Bekah, that was uncalled for. I'm sorry." Cameron embraced me and I acted like it didn't hurt.

"I don't care."

"Don't hide it, love."

I sighed and Brooklyn came out of her room.

"Mommy, I want cereal."

"Anything you want." I fixed her a bowl of cereal and sat her down at the table.

"...Aren't you going to eat?" Cameron asked me.

"I'm not hungry."

Cameron sighed. "You can't let him control you."

"I'm just not fucking hungry."

"Our tour was canceled."

"Why?"

"I have no idea, but they've post-poned it to next month. Well, I'm going to go see Kaelan, I'll be back later. Ben should be back in a few hours or so."

"Is Reyna coming with him?"

"I don't know. She might."

"Okay, I'll talk to you later."

I sat down on the couch and started watching some lame ass show. Brooklyn came over and sat in my lap.

"Mommy?"

"Yes?"

"Where's Danny?"

She's going to ask this same fucking question over and over again. Fuck.

"He's at his house."

"Do you love him?"

"Yes." I lied. Kind of.

"Do you love Daddy?"

"Yes."

She laid her head on my chest. "I miss Danny."

"You'll see him one day."

"Can I go in uncle Ben's room and watch cartoons?"

"Of course." She kissed me and got up.

James came out of his room shirtless and sat down on the couch beside me and yawned. "So what did Worsnop do this time?"

"Everything."

"Well, if you need me, I'm here. Well everybody else is too, but ya know."

"Thanks James."

------
A few weeks later, I was texting Travis and we both agreed it was good to just be friends and nothing more. I didn't want to date anyways.

I was depressed. Everybody knew it. Even Brooklyn.

Turns out that Ben broke up with Reyna. She had started talking about kids and marriage and all kinds of shit and it really freaked Ben out. He had said Brooklyn was the only little one there would ever be in his life and it had really pissed her off.

"Bekah, you're so fucking frail. I feel like whenever I touch you you're going to shatter into a million little fucking pieces." James screamed at me one afternoon. I was sitting on the couch involved in my phone.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You've probably lost fucking 30 pounds since you've been here! You don't eat!"

"I'm not hungry. I'm a vampire."

James pulled me off of the couch and shoved me into the bathroom and pushed me on the scale.

"95 fucking pounds. Last time you stepped on this thing you were 120."

"Sorry I don't fucking watch my weight!"

"All you are is fucking skin and bones! You're killing yourself!" He yelled as I waved him off walking into the kitchen and grabbed me a bottle of Jaeger.

"Do you fucking forget sometimes that you have a 4 year old running around?" James scoffed.

"There's like 4 other fucking people living here, it's not like she's going to run off a cliff, James."

"That's it. I can't take it. Ben!" He called and went into Ben's room and slammed the door. Around 10 minutes later Ben came out with his keys.

"Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"To get you some damn drugs."

We got into the car and Ben looked over at me.

"What happened to my little sister?" He asked me.

"Danny Worsnop happened."

Ben sighed and cranked up the car and pulled out of the lot.

We got into the doctor's office and it wasn't very busy, so we were seen quickly.

"Is Bekah just here for a regular check up?"

"She's needs something for stress. Her anxiety is off the fuuuuu-dging wall and she's lost almost 30 pounds in 2 weeks." Ben saved himself.

"Okay, well you will have to go pick up the prescription at the pharmacy. Can you do that?"

We both nodded. The doctor finished everything he needed to and we left.

We picked up the pills and headed home.

"Okay, the pharmacist said you HAVE to take these with food or it could really fuck you up. And you must NOT drive with these, it can make you really dizzy."

"I have to take 3 of these damn pills a day, what the fuck I'm going to be messed up the whole damn time!"

"Well, until you get better, this is what we have to do."