I'll Be Damned If You're the Death of Me

All I wanted to do lately is get trashy.

So that's what I did. Every night, after the shows, I got fucked. Brooklyn was instantly asleep when James carried her back to the bus, so it worked perfectly.

I have been so thankful Brooklyn hasn't said anything about what Austin said in front of her.

Just a few more days, and tour would be over with.

After I had had way too many drinks, I thought I was smart and decided to take a shower.

I busted my ass a few times.

"Are you okay?!?!" Someone always screamed. So then I get out, and then I realized there were no towels and I forgot my clothes.

Fuck me.

So I peeked outside the door.

"James." I scream-whispered.

No answer.

"James!"

No answer.

"Fucking asshole." I wrapped my hands around my boobs and ran over to the bed and knelt down and grabbed my back.

"Holy fuck Bekah, what are you doing?!" Danny laughed at me.

I screamed and slipped on the ground, waking James up.

"What are you doing?!"

"I forgot my clothes so I had to come out and get them!"

"GO BACK TO THE BATHROOM!" He pointed to the door.

I stuck my tongue out and strutted to the bathroom.

"Ahem! You can look away anytime now!" James screamed at Danny and Danny looked back at the TV.

I smirked to myself.

I woke up the next day, of course not remembering what had happened last night.

And then I heard Brooklyn ask James a question.

"Are you coming with me and mommy?"

"Where, baby?"

"To Austin's! Austin say me and mommy going with him!"

"WHAT?!" I heard him stomp across the bus and he ripped the curtain over.

"Do you mind, I'm naked!" I covered myself up.

"What's this shit that Brooklyn's talking about?!"

"I don't know."

"Don't fucking play with me, Bekah!"

"Get in the fucking bed and shut the curtain. DO NOT INTERRUPT ME." I ordered him, and he did it.

"Okay, so. Austin had come up to me at a show, and asked if you and I were serious. I THOUGHT we weren't really together, we had never made it official, so I told him the situation, and we fucked, and then he told me he wanted me to go back to Georgia with him. He accidentally fucked up and said something in front of Brooklyn, and I told him it wouldn't work out because I didn't want to move my child half way around the world from her father. And I told him I belonged with you."

"How many times."

"A few while you guys were playing."

He got up silently. "You're not worth the argument, Bekah. You are a filthy whore. You and Danny were made for each other."

"Baby, please-"

"Stop, don't touch me." James walked off the bus and slammed the door. I shut the curtain back and cried under the covers.

"Bekah, you're not a whore." Danny said and climbed into the bed.

"Yes, I am, even you say it!"

"I was just angry that you stopped taking me back. You're not a whore, not at all. Please, don't cry. I hate seeing you cry."

"I can't help it. James has NEVER called me anything like that. I'm a fucking horrible person." I wiped my eyes, making them all puffy and sore.

"No, you're not. You're amazing. I'm the horrible one."

"No, I cheated. James is right, I'm a whore."

"You didn't cheat because you didn't think you were with him."

"I was fucking both of them! I'M A WHORE!"

"Nope. Never have been, never will be."