Sweet Dreams

I gave up the idea of sleeping as I sat up in my bed. I had been trying to sleep for the past almost 12 months. It just wasn’t working out. Almost a year ago, I lost my heart and soul. I lost my reason to even be alive. I felt those damn tears going down my pale, haunted face yet again.

I looked down at the picture I had clutched in my shaking hands. I closed my eyes and let out a sob. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I picked up the letter I had found the day after I lost him.

Baby girl,

Oh how I love you so fucking much. I know that when I leave you, it’s going to kill you. I know how heartbroken you will be. You will have so many questions running through your head as you try to figure out why this happened. Baby, I love you with everything I have.

You have to keep a promise for me. I want you to go out and live your life to the fullest. I know it’s going to hurt too bad for the next year, but go out and live. I want you to know how happy you made me. All those years I got to spend with you were the happiest of my life.

I know you’ll have your brother there to help look after you. Darling, I love you so much. Go out and live like every day is your last one to live, like every hour is your last, every breath is the last one that will pass through your lungs.

Go out and make some noise and create a colorful world. I’ll always be there with you in spirit. I will never leave your side. I love you, Dani.

Love always,

Jimmy

I felt that hard pang inside my chest for the millionth time. I looked at the clock. It was now officially December 28th. I heard my phone ring. I looked at the caller ID and saw it was my brother.

“Hello?” I answered with a raspy voice. I hadn’t talked much in the past year.

“Hey baby girl, how are you holding up?” I let out a sob and heard Brian sigh on the other end.

“Hold on baby, I’m getting all the guys together and we are coming over to the house soon. I love you.” I sniffled and whispered,

“I love you too, Brian.” I hung up and sat in the middle of the bed with my knees pulled to my chest. I suddenly got up out of bed and felt myself start to walk. I walked downstairs and into his studio. I then felt myself sit down on the bench by the piano.

I saw a weird light. I frowned slightly and wiped my nose. Suddenly, I felt someone wipe away my tears. I looked in shock at the person before me. A set of fresh tears worked themselves out of my swollen, blood-shot eyes.

I jumped up and hugged him. It felt weird. I felt myself shiver at his touch.

“J-Jimmy? Is it really you?” I asked him. He nodded with a slight smile.

“Baby girl, you haven’t been living.” I looked down in shame. I felt his hand raise my face back up to his.

“I don’t have much time. I love you so goddamn much, my love.” I smiled a broken smile at his words.

Suddenly, I felt his lips mold themselves to mine in a chaste kiss. I closed my eyes as we kissed. Our lips fit together like puzzle pieces. My heart raced and I felt as if this was our first kiss all over again. When I opened my eyes again, I saw he was gone. I felt a slight ache in my chest.
As I walked back upstairs, I had a soft smile on my face. I got back into our bed and for the first time in a year, I got a good night’s sleep. As I slept, I had sweet dreams of us.

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Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always some reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh a beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
oh and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of the angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight life
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lies
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe
in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of the angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here