When September Ends

I crept out of the room and went down to the kitchen and sat at the counter. I looked around at the pictures on the wall, Adie's memos to "get milk" stuck to the fridge with a post it note. I looked out at the garden where a flat basketball sat, deflated and forgotten. The patio chairs askew the way we left them the other day. What would happen when I went? What would Adrienne do? Would she carry on as normal or completely breakdown? Joey was already beginning to crack and he is eleven years old. I was stirred from my thoughts by Adrienne slipping her arms around my waist and resting her head on my shoulder.

"Billie?" she whispered

"Yeah?" I replied, slightly more bitter than I intended

"It wasn't your fault at all. I was just upset, worried, I was terrified in case something happened to him. I couldnt cope losing him and then losing you. I spoke to you horribly yesterday. None of this is your fault at all and I'm disgusted at myself for even saying it" she apologized.

"Don't be babe. We haven't got time for arguing, just forget about it" I said, craning my neck to place a kiss on her soft lips. I glance at the clock that read 6:30AM. Damn I'd hardly slept.

"You wanna go back to bed Honey?" Adrienne asked, running her hands through my hair and kissing my neck.

"Why, are you being suggestive Mrs Armstrong?" I asked, wiggling my eyes brows. She sat in my lap and kissed me hard and pushed her back against the counter, deepening the kiss. We parted and she grabbed my hand and took me upstairs.

*

We were woken again at just gone 11AM by a very apologetic looking Joey.

"And just where did you go young man? We were worried sick about you. We had the police called and everything" Adie said as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry. I just got upset and angry. I took a walk" he said, playing with his fingers

"A walk where?" I asked

"Just somewhere. Anyway I'm sorry" he sighed

"A walk where?" I repeated "You were gone till after 4AM that is when I got in from looking for you"

"Just somewhere okay?" he yelled "Can I go now?" he snapped

"You can go to your room and cut the attitude. You can come out when you decide to tell us where you went. We were worried sick. We didn't know what had happened to you. Now go" I said as he jumped off the bed and slammed our bedroom door and sure enough a few seconds later, his door.

"What's gotten into him?" I asked

"He's a pre-teen Bill. There's a lot worse to come I would expect. He'll come round" she replied, laying her head on my chest.

"You're gonna have to tell Mike and Tré. You can't keep it from them. It's only right they know. They're family" she said, tracing circles on my stomach. I sighed. I knew this time would come. I didn't want to tell them. I really didn't but she was right. She's always right.

"Yeah, I know" I whispered.

"I don't want to push you Billie Joe but, sooner rather than later." she repled, slipping out of bed and disappearing into the closet. She returned, chucking some clothes on the bed for me.

"Am I not trusted to pick my own clothes?" I joked

"Hmm yeah, you usually dress alright. I just dress you better" she laughed

"No, Babe, you got that wrong. You undress me better" I laughed and winked at her. She rolled her eyes and went to the bathroom and switched on the shower.

*

All of this was really beginning to take its toll on me. The psychological impact of it made me feel like I was going crazy. Like I was going to crack any second. I felt like Joey was beginning to hate me for dying. He kept throwing me dirty looks and ignoring me. Jakob was fine but still couldn't grasp why I had to "go to sleep forever". Adrienne was so supportive but she didn't realize that I wanted to be on my own sometimes. I know now isn't exactly the time for "me time" but without I would definately be insane. I was just down in the basement when Tré came bounding down the stairs.

"Hey Billie! Hey Billie Jooooe?" he yelled.

"What can I do for ya Frank?" I asked, looking up at the drummer, my best friend, my brother.

"We're going out. We're gonna party. Go make yourself look more beautiful than you already are but, be careful, I don't want you outdoing me" he said, pulling me up before I had a chance to object. Within an hour, I was kissing Adrienne goodbye and telling her not to wait up as me and Tré jumped into the taxi.

*
It was 4:30AM when I decided to call Adrienne to come pick me up. I couldn't even stand up, let alone punch her number in. It took me several attempts and several very pissed off people before I finally got the number right.

"Adieee itsh you!" I slurred

"Billie its half four in the morning what do you want?" she muttered sleepily.

"Can yous come and pick me up?" I asked

"No Billie. I can't leave the boys on their own" she said.

"Brings them with yous then" I replied

"Don't be stupid I am not waking them up at this hour. I will unlock the door for you. I will see you soon. I love you" she replied

"Lovesh yous more" I muttered incoherently, dropping my phone on the floor.
I leaned over to it up and fell flat on my face. "Fuck" I mumbled, attempting to pick myself up. I was quite a way from home and began stumbling along, making my way back. I was gonna feel this when I woke up.

As I was stumbling along, I bumped into a man, nearly sending him flying. He was a pretty bg guy too. Right now he seemed ten times the size of my petite frame. He looked down at me angrily.

"Dude I'm shorry" I slurred.

Before I knew it, he'd punched me in the stomach. I fell to the floor, clutching my gut. I sobered up pretty quickly and jumped back up.

"Dude what the fuck?!" I yelled, pushing him. He didn't say anything, he just punched me square in the face. I felt a warm trickle of blood as I swung for him and caught him on the side of the head. I recognized this guy from somewhere, I just couldn't think where. In that split second I'd taken to stop and think, he began a tirade of punching me anywhere he could reach. I couldn't even feel the pain, I could just feel the anger welling up inside me as I flung him off me and pushed him to the floor. I began kicking and kicking him, punching him. Causing as much damage as I could to him. I finally stopped when I felt I'd done enough.

"Fucking ass." I said, spitting on him and walking away, covered in a mixture of his blood and my own.

I'd been walking for about half an hour and was only round the corner from home when I suddenly felt weak again. The pain in my stomach I hadn't felt before was the worst pain I'd ever felt and I was pretty sure my nose was broken too. Maybe a rib as well. I clutched my stomach and made for the front door as I got there, Adie opened it and I collapsed into her arms there in the door way.