Our World Made Up of Lies.

We all sat there waiting for Heidi to answer. I didn't want to know what was making my children so upset about having there aunt back, but I knew they had to have a reason to be acting so hostile towards her. And it bothered me knowing that they were being this way.

"We don't know her. So why should we miss someone we never knew? We didn't need her when she was gone, why should now be any different?" Harley said, speaking for both of them.

I was shocked, to say the least. Did they not remember there aunt a year ago? Did they not see how sad and depressed I was without her? 

In the middle of my thinking, Alice stood up and walked upstairs. I wanted to go after her, but then what my boy had just said really hit me. We don't know her. 

Are they right? I mean.. I don't even know if I should go comfort my own sister for fuck's sake! 

Instead of actually debating about this, I walked over to Desi.

"Hey.. Um, I hope you don't mind, but I think I'm going to take the kids somewhere. Are you okay? Or do you want me to wait up?" I asked.

She smiled at me, giving me a hug, "No go. I'm fine here, and I think it would be good for them. They need you." she nodded her head to Heidi and Harley, who were now standing out on the porch.

God bless that girls heart. This is one of the many things that make me happy to call her my girlfriend. She just so understanding and caring! This girl is going to be the death of me.

I hugged her back, kissing her lips softly before saying a round of goodbyes and heading outside. Starting the car, I watched through the rearview mirror as my kids buckled themselves in. 

Without really thinking, I started driving, not even trying to stop myself from going where I knew we would end up. The twins didn't talk much, but they've always been relatively quiet.

Now that I think back.. there not really.. like the other kids I see at the school. There more of the loner type. There not as social or outgoing as the kids there. Maybe I should be worried for my kids, or maybe I should be okay with it and just let them be themselves. Fuck, being a mother has it's downers sometimes..

After driving through the black metal gates, I parked the car and motioned for the kids to follow me.

"Mommy.. Why are we here?" Heidi asked. 

I ignored her question, grabbing there hands and walked over to a familiar gravestone.

"This is your grandma's grave. I never told you much about her.. and now I'm kinda sorry I never did." I said.

"What was her name?" Harley asked in sudden interest.

"Anna. She was a great woman. Before she started doing bad things. She made me and your a- Alice into who we are today. She wasn't there for us a lot of the time, because of the bad things she did, but her mistakes and what she did do for us made us." I told them. 

They sat there, not taking there gaze off of the head stone. I was trying to figure out how to explain this to my 3 year old kids. I mean sure, there smart and know how to talk and understand what I'm saying, but it's hard to say.

"You guys are close right?" they nodded, "well, imagine me and Alice that close, cause we were once. Now how would you guys feel if one of you was taken away for what felt like a really long time?"

They were both quiet for a while, before Heidi spoke up.

"I would really, really miss Harley. Is... is that how you felt about Alice, Mommy?" she asked in such a soft voice.

I nodded back. "I missed her so much. She's my sister, and I couldn't replace her. That's why I was just so sad. You guys might understand, or you might not, but one day you will know what it's like to lose someone really important to you, and when that happens.. you'll need each other." 

It was quiet again, and then I felt there small arms wrap around me. I smiled at my kids. For being an only mother, I think I'm doing pretty well with them.