Friends, Lovers, or Nothing

“Peyton, wake up. Come on.”

His voice seemed distant at first, but as I slowly came to, it got increasingly louder.

I swatted at his hand, which was resting on my shoulder and shaking me gently, and groaned. “Stop it,” I mumbled, my face buried in my pillow. “I’m sleeping.”

I heard him laugh. “You have to help me with merch, love. This show’s turnout is ridiculous. I need your expertise.”

I groaned again. “I really hate you,” I mumbled, before rolling out of the bunk. I landed like a cat on my feet, and stumbled backwards slightly at the surprise of not being horizontal anymore. “I really hate you,” I repeated, looking at Ollie through squinted eyes while I stretched and yawned.

He laughed again. “I know, but you’ll love me when you come help with merch.”

I just rolled my eyes and shoo’d him away. “I’ll meet you in the venue. Give me fifteen minutes.”

He gave a short nod before hurrying off. I quickly changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, grabbing a sweatshirt and slipping on my shoes before heading down the stairs.

It took about five seconds once I was inside the venue for Max to pop out of nowhere and attack me in regards to Danielle. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?” he asked, sounding slightly panicked.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms in front of my chest. “No Max, I’m not. Danielle is though. I’m going to stay a little longer, unless things get worse. But we aren’t counting on them getting worse, so I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

He let out a sigh of relief. “Bloody hell Peyton, I’ve been worrying for the past three hours. Don’t do that to me, love.”

I laughed. “Sorry Max. I need to go find Ollie though.”

After he pointed me in the direction of the merch area, I went off to find Ollie. “There’s the sleeping beauty,” he joked when he finally spotted me.

I rolled my eyes and smiled. “You’re so funny, aren’t you?”

He smiled as well, but then when he was looking me in the eyes he turned serious. “So, I heard you’re leaving.” It wasn’t really a question, more of a statement.

I sighed. “I’m not going anywhere. Danielle’s going home, but you’re all stuck with me for a little longer.”

His face turned happy again. “That’s good. I didn’t want you bailing on me so early.”

I smiled too. It was nice to be friends with Ollie. He always knew how to make me smile, and if I wasn’t in the position I was in I would probably be more attracted to him. Sadly though, nothing had changed and I was still in the position I was in, and therefore I wasn’t attracted to him. But it was a nice thought.

The show went smoothly as usual, and merch went just as well. Kids bought things left and right and we were really busy, but it still went pretty well.

When there was a lull in the night, and Ollie and I were just sitting listening to whoever was playing right then, Max came over to see us again.

We couldn’t really talk over the music, so he gestured for me to follow him. I told Ollie I’d be right back and followed Max into a quiet hallway where we could talk.

“What’s up?” I asked him.

“Danielle and I were talking about what she’s going to do tomorrow, and she decided she didn’t want to go to the airport alone. She really is against a taxi, so we talked to Tom and he offered her his car.”

I nodded. “That’s great, but Max I can’t get around England on my own. I can’t drive her to Heathrow and then get back to wherever I need to be without getting completely lost.”

He nodded as well, and suddenly his entire mood shifted. He seemed awkward and uncomfortable. HE scratched at the back of his neck as he peered at the ground and mumbled, “I know. ‘s why Josh is going with you.”

I wasn’t phased by what he said, at least not at first. Woo hoo, Josh would be going with us. So what? I was already with him 24/7 as it was, so what would a drive to Heathrow be? It wasn’t that big of a deal at first.

Until I really started thinking about it.

“Fuck no!” I exclaimed. “He’ll steal the last best friend moments I have until she climbs on that plane. I’m not letting that happen.”

Max sighed. “Don’t be stubborn Peyton. He’s going, and that’s that. There’s no one else who can go, and it’ll make Danielle happiest. Think about that. She gets to spend her last few hours in England with two of her good friends.”

I didn’t argue anymore, because what could I say? That I didn’t care about my best friends happiness? Not when we both knew that was a lie. “Fine,” I said shortly, turning on my heel to head back to merch. It was going to be a long night.

***

It was so ridiculously early, I almost couldn’t believe it.

But, her bags were packed. Tears were being shed, and goodbyes were being said.

She said goodbye to all the boys, and then to Tom, which I took as an opportunity to talk to Max. “You sure Josh knows where he’s going?” I asked him shortly, my arms crossed in front of my chest in defense.

He sighed. “Come off it Peyton. Just try and be civil for a few hours, alright?”

I rolled my eyes, but nodded. We both knew I would be nothing but civil. Or, well... if nothing else, I wouldn’t speak to him. This trip was about Danielle, and nothing else. Josh was just in the way. As always.

When we were finally ready to go, Josh, Danielle, and myself climbed into the rental car and then we were off. Josh and I promised to call when we got to the airport and when we were leaving so we could make plans on when and where to meet up with the rest of the band.

Then we were off, Josh driving, Danielle in the passenger seat, and myself in the back.

We were all pretty quiet at first, and the tension was high. Josh turned the radio on and fiddled with with the buttons for a minute before finally deciding on a station. I watched as Danielle stared out the window. I sighed quietly as my phone vibrated in my hands and I opened the message.

Haven’t killed anyone yet?

I rolled my eyes. No Max, I have not. Fuck off. I sent the message and then shut my phone off. I didn’t want anymore harassment from Max or any of the guys. I decided to check on Danielle instead. I leaned forward and placed my hand on her shoulder. “You okay?”

She turned around and smiled sadly at me. “I’ll be okay when I’m on that plane headed home.”

I smiled back, and I would have kept smiling if I wasn’t suddenly launched forward in my seat.

“Josh!” I screamed bloody murder, smacking him on the shoulder. “What the fuck was that?”

He shrugged. “Sorry, I was testing the breaks.”

“You’re testing my patience,” I growled lowly, throwing myself back into the seat and crossing my arms tightly across my chest. “Prick.”

I heard Danielle sigh from her spot. She said something under her breath to Josh, which I of course missed, but I watched him nod in agreement.

I heard as they started to have a conversation of their own, and I promptly tuned myself out. I didn’t care if they wanted to talk, but I didn’t want to listen to it.

My tuning out resulted in getting lost in my thoughts, though. It was okay at first. I was mainly thinking about Danielle and her grandfather, and hoping he was doing okay. But then my thoughts slowly traveled to my confession to Danielle the previous night, which brought my head back to Josh. It always came back to Josh.

I knew I had to do something. I knew this, more than anyone around me knew, but saying it and doing it were two different things. It was hard. It was really hard. I wanted to tell Josh everything. I wanted to tell him everything he didn’t know, tell him why I didn’t tell him things before, but it was hard. And it was all so complicated. By my own doing of course, but regardless.

I ended up falling asleep in the back seat, and I only woke up because Josh was freaking out in the front.

“What’s the matter?” I asked Danielle groggily, rubbing sleep from my eyes.

“The weather took an unexpected turn for the worse,” she informed me. “And apparently Josh has never driven in snow before,” she joked.

“Fuck off,” he muttered. “I have, this is just ridiculous.”

“Are we going to get there oaky?” I asked, suddenly concerned.

Josh huffed. “Considering we’re here, I think we’re going to be just fine,” he informed me shortly.

I looked out the window and noticed we were pulling up to the airport. Josh pulled up to the curb which only gave us a short amount of time, but it’d have to do. We all climbed out of the car and while Josh got Danielle’s bags, we started to say our goodbyes.

“I don’t want you to go,” I cried as I hugged her. “I can’t handle all of these guys on my own.”

She laughed, tears in her eyes as well. “I know, hun, but you’ll be fine. You’ve done it before.”

“You have to keep me updated, please. I’m sure he’ll be fine, but if anything changes you let me know. I’ll be on a plane home in no time.”

She nodded enthusiastically. “You know I will.”

We pulled away and then Josh was coming towards us. I took a few steps back so they could say their goodbyes. I watched out of the corner of my eye as she hugged him and kissed his cheek. I watched as she whispered something in his ear and he nodded. When they pulled back, they both turned to me, but Josh was the first to speak. “If you want to walk her to the gate, I’ll drive around a bit and come back to pick you up. If you want.”

I almost burst into tears. I was brought back to when Josh was so sweet the other day, and it knocked me off my feet in surprise. Instead of saying anything, I just nodded and then followed Danielle into the airport.

Once we got her ticket and got her all squared away, and once we found security, we realized it was time to say our final goodbyes.

“I don’t want you to leave,” I repeated, hugging her tightly. “I’ll come with you.”

She laughed, tears spilling over her eyes and down her cheeks. “You can’t come with me, dork. But you can do something for me.”

“What’s that?”

“I need you to talk to him, Peyt. Please.”

I sighed, pulling back. “It’s not that easy, Danielle. Knowing I have to and actually doing it are two completely different things.”

“For me,” she pleaded. “I need you to talk to him for me.”

Well now that wasn’t fair. “You’re using your best friend position against me,” I pouted, which made her laugh.

“Think about it.”

I nodded. I would definitely think about it.

We hugged again, and then it was time. “I’ll call you when I land, okay?”

“You better.”

I kissed her cheek and then hurried off, because I knew if I didn’t I would never leave.

When I got outside, Josh was waiting at the curb for me, leaning against the side of the car. “Let’s go,” I said shortly, walking around the car and climbing into the passenger side while Josh got into the driver’s seat.

I was waiting for him to start driving so I could concentrate on that instead of the fact that my best friend was gone now, but the car didn’t start fast enough, and I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I wiped at the tears spilling down my cheeks and then turned to face Josh. “Can we go please?” I barked, my voice cracking from crying.

“We have a problem,” he said, still not looking at me. “And it involves the fact that we can’t meet up with the band.”

My heart stopped momentarily. ”What?” I shrieked.

“Calm down, Peyton!” he hissed. “And stop your bloody screaming. We can’t go because the roads are too bad, it’d be too dangerous. So I called Max and he said to get a room. Then the bus can just pick us up in the morning and we can head to the next city. It’s easier, safer, and better.”

I took a few deep breaths. I was glad he already talked to Max, but I still didn’t want to stay in a room anywhere near Josh. One of us wouldn’t make it out alive.

But we didn’t have a choice, and that was that. We couldn’t risk getting killed driving back. It wasn’t worth it.

With one last deep breath, I said, “Where are we staying?”

This was going to be interesting.