Friends, Lovers, or Nothing

“Oh boy,” Max mumbled under his breath. My head snapped over in his direction and my eyes were wide.

“He doesn’t know, does he? He has absolutely no fucking clue I’m here right now, does he Max?” I hissed lowly.

He shrugged. “How were we supposed to tell him, Peyt? Just blurt out ‘oh hey! Peyton’s comin’ back! Cheers!’?” he defended himself.

I shook my head and smacked my forehead. “This is going to end so badly,” I practically whispered.

We sat at the table and didn’t say another word. What could we say, really? I was here, in England, merely rooms apart from the boy who more than likely still hated my guts. And to top it all off, I had just agreed to go on tour with them for a few weeks! I had lost my mind, clearly.

Just as I was devising what I thought was the most clever escape plan ever in my head, Max was getting up to go in the living room. “I’ll go in there and break it to him; you stay here until its safe.”

I nodded; I ignored the fact that it was funny that he thought it would ever be ‘safe’.

I sat alone while Max left to go “break the news” to Josh. I figured once I heard the yelling, it would be as safe as it was going to get. Either that or he’d spear me with the lasers in his eyes. I was really open to anything to get me out of this situation at this point.

There was no yelling though. It was virtually silent, which worried me more. Just as I was turning my body to look into the living room, just to make sure everyone was still alive, a boy in a red plaid shirt obstructed my view.

“What the fuck are you doin’ here, Peyt?”

I sighed, standing up. “Nice to see you too, Josh,” I mumbled.

The glare he was casting my way told me he didn’t care how long it had been: he still hated my guts.

Well at least he was consistent.

I raked my fingers through my blonde hair, a nervous habit I had acquired over the past year. I blamed stress from school, but there was a good chance it was also the boy standing in front of me’s fault as well. “It’s a graduation present from my dad, Josh. I’m here to see my family. I’m sorry if that fucks up your life in any way, but y’know what? Get over it.”

There’s a chance that wasn’t the way to deal with the situation. But I really didn’t care. I thought I was afraid of Josh, but that wasn’t it at all. He just pissed me off. I was reverted back to when I had first met him, we were back to our old ways. Hating each other. Maybe that was all we would ever do.

He shook his head as he looked at his feet. “You’re still a piece of work, Peyton. Haven’t changed a bit.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Josh. I have changed. I moved out on my own. I have a best friend who has been there for me the past year of my life, and I’ve even graduated. I’ve grown up, but clearly you haven’t.”

“Still walkin’ around like you know everything though,” he spat.

I rolled my eyes and through my hands up in the air. “Nothing I do will ever please you!” I hissed lowly. We were fighting, but it wasn’t an all out blow out. I really didn’t want my parents to hear, or worse: Danielle.

Danielle. Oh shit.

I peeked around Josh’s shoulders to see if anyone was coming, and when I saw no one I stepped closer, pointing a finger at him. “Listen to me Joshua. This is extremely important and if you never do another thing I ask, that’s fine. But I need you to do this for me, alright?”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “Why should I do shit for you, Peyt?”

“Because I’m asking nicely.”

He didn’t say anything else so I continued.

“Danielle, that girl in there? She’s my best friend and roommate, but she doesn’t know about us okay? I just told her we didn’t get along.”

“And?”

“And,” I snapped, “Don’t tell her anything otherwise, okay? As far as she’s concerned, we just don’t like each other.”

He nodded in understanding. “Why bring up the past when it doesn’t matter?”

I stepped back, shocked. But when I realized he was agreeing to keep us a secret, I felt better. A little hurt that he just said I didn’t matter, but I would deal with that later. I nodded shortly and said, “Okay good. Thank you.”

He nodded too. “You say you’ve grown up Peyton, but you’re still keepin’ secrets from people. So you really haven’t changed.”

I groaned and brushed by him to go into the living room, taking a seat next to Danielle on the couch. I was clearly irritated, and she questioned this. “What’s up?” she whispered.

“Josh is a prick.”

She just laughed. “He seems nice enough. Maybe you guys just got off on the wrong foot or something.”

I didn’t answer. Yeah, or something, I thought bitterly, crossing my arms in front of my chest and falling back against the couch. I glared at Josh sitting across the living room from me, talking to my dad and Hanna about the tour. Definitely or something. I thought with a shake of my head.

“I just can’t wait to headline, especially with the bands we’re goin’ out with,” Max said in amazement.

“Who’s supporting?” Danielle piped up.

“Set Your Goals, The Blackout, and Canterbury. All great lads,” Josh chimed in, smiling broadly at Danielle. “It’s great to be able to tour with such good mates of ours.”

I watched stealthily out of the corner of my eye as she smiled back at him. When he turned away, she turned to me with a smile. “Yeah, you definitely just got off on the wrong foot with him,” she whispered. “He’s so nice!”

I wanted to scream, “HE IS NOT NICE! JOSH FRANCESCHI DOESN’T EVEN KNOW THE DEFINITION OF NICE!” but I refrained and instead just scoffed at her statement.

Maybe I hadn’t been aware of the volume of my scoff, but apparently it had been louder than necessary. Because Josh was now staring me down menacingly. “Problem love?”

“Aside from you calling me love, nope, I’m dandy. Especially thinking about what Max suggested for Danielle and I to do while we’re here in England.” My tone had taken a sickly sweet turn and the smile on my face was as fake as they come.

I regretted it as soon as the words left my mouth. Max smacked his hand over his face and groaned, as did the rest of the boys. Dan even uttered a, “this oughtta be good.”

Josh’s eyes narrowed, but his gaze never left me. “Oh yeah? And what did he suggest?”

I smirked evilly. “That Danielle and I here go on tour with you guys. He said we would be helping out loads, Danielle with Tom Barnes and I with Bryony, and you guys would love to have us.”

Oh, burn! a voice inside my head yelled out. Scarily, it sounded like Kelso from That 70’s Show. I obviously watched too much TV.

Josh’s jaw dropped, but he quickly recovered, for the sake of not looking like a complete tool in front of my dad and Hanna, who were sitting in the corner taking this all in. “Well I think that sounds like a brilliant idea as well,” he said quickly, a fake smile plastered on his face.

I sat back on the couch, feeling as if I had won this battle. I had a bad feeling that with this tour coming up, Josh and I were going to be having a lot more of these tiffs in the near future. Too bad I came prepared with a head full of insults with a few good pop-culture references thrown in, just for good measure.

Once we had all caught up and Hanna and my dad decided it was their bedtime, and Danielle decided she needed a shower, Max and I walked everyone out. Once I gave all the guys goodbye hugs and they were off to their cars, Max headed back inside, leaving Josh and I alone on the front steps.

“You’re really doin’ this, Peyt?” he asked quietly, looking off into the distance. Probably so he didnt have to look at me any more than necessary.

Ouch.

I shook that thought away and nodded. “Yeah Josh, I am. Not to spite you or anything, but just to be with some of my friends and my brother who I never get to see. The spiting you thing just kind of happened,” I joked easily. But when he glared at me I realized that, once again, we weren’t in any position to joke with each other. Not anymore, anyways.

“Why though, Peyt? Why did you have to come back?” he asked, almost desperate. But then he controlled himself and said more softly, “I was movin’ on just fine when you weren’t here. Everything’s easier when you aren’t here, Peyton.”

“I didn’t come back for you Josh,” I said firmly. “I came back for my family. You just happened to get in the way.”

He shoved his hand through his hair and shook it out again. I laughed and said, “Still doin’ that habit of yours huh?”

The confusion covering his face told me he had no idea what I was talking about. “Look, we aren’t going to get along, Peyt. Y’know that right?”

I shrugged. “Figured as much. But we didn’t get along when I first met you so what else is new?”

He nodded. “It’s been a year Peyton and I’ve moved on for the most part. But that doesn’t mean you don’t still piss me off. It doesn’t mean anything’s changed.”

“Feeling’s mutual,” I muttered, scuffing my shoe against the cement under me while I stared at the ground.

When I looked up, he nodded shortly. “See ya later, Peyt,” he said softly, heading down the stairs quickly and to his car before he drove off.

And that was it. Josh and I were in a place that I wasn’t sure I wanted to be in, wasn’t sure I could be in, yet there wasn’t much I could do. I had done this to myself by keeping secrets, and so now I had to live with it.

With a sigh, I headed back inside.