Friends, Lovers, or Nothing

“It was great to have you around here, Peyton. You did a fabulous job, and I’m sorry to see you leaving our offices.”

I smiled at Mr. Franklin as I shook his hand. “I’m sorry to be leaving, but I’m excited for what’s ahead.”

He nodded in agreement. “You’re going to do great. Just remember, you always have a spot here in LA. You’ll surely be missed,” he assured me.

I said one final goodbye and thank you to the older man before I headed out. I grabbed my box of things I had collected off of my desk and I headed out of the office, saying my final goodbyes along the way.

When I got outside into the California sunshine, I pulled my phone out and dialed the number I knew by heart. I waited for several moments before her voice came on the other end of the line. “Beautiful!” she exclaimed. “All done?”

I laughed. “All finished! Currently standing on the sidewalk out front of HarperCollins wondering where the fuck my best friend is.”

I heard her laughter which made me smile. “Turn to your left, jackass.”

I did as she told me to and of course, there she was. I squealed and ran to her, dropping my box of junk in favor of a hug from my best friend.

After I had accepted the job at HarperCollins, Danielle had been offered a job from a small music magazine back in Boston. It was nothing huge, but it was a start, and unfortunately she had to take it. We tried to find a different job for her closer to LA, but it just wasn’t going to happen. So after a tearful goodbye, Danielle left me in LA by my lonesome.

Except I wasn’t by my lonesome. Not by a long shot.

“Have you talked to the guys?” I asked as we started walking down the sidewalk towards the parking garage only a block away, where I had to park my car that day after turning in my official HarperCollins parking tags the day before.

She shook her head. “I haven’t done anything but get off the plane, hop in a cab, and head to see you.”

I smiled at her. “Thank God for that!’ I exclaimed, making her laugh. “Alright, well they should be done in the studio by now. They’ve just been putting the finishing touches on everything these past few days.”

After locating my car, we climbed in and headed on our way. “So, how have things been?” Danielle asked, rolling down the window to let some of the early summer air in.

I shrugged. “You know, honestly Danielle? I can’t remember the last time I was this happy,” I smiled brightly.

“I’m so happy for you Peyt. Things have finally fallen into place I think.”

I nodded enthusiastically. “Speaking of, how was your last day at the magazine?”

“It was sad, but I told them if they ever needed a photographer in England, they could call me up,” she grinned. “I can’t believe we’re moving to England!” she exclaimed, bouncing in her seat. “It’s like my childhood dreams are all coming true,” she spoke dreamily, feigning innocence.

I laughed, shoving her with my free hand. “Shut up, smart ass!”

Before we could fall into a laughing fit, I was pulling up in front of the apartment and parking. I shut the car off and jumped out of the car, Danielle following suite. We hurried into the building and got into the elevator. I hit the button for their floor automatically, the same button I had been hitting every night for the past several months.

We practically burst through the doors in impatience and hurried down the hall, laughing the whole way. I pulled my key out and pushed the door open, exclaiming, “She’s here!”

Josh appeared first, a big grin on his face. He hugged Danielle quickly, but then came to my side. “How was the last day love?” he asked, giving me a kiss on the forehead.

I kicked my heels off and shrugged. “It was alright. I just can’t wait to start the new job I guess.”

“Where the fuck is everyone?” Danielle exclaimed with her hands on her hips, peering around the apartment, as if the guys were hiding from her.

Josh laughed, wrapping his arm around my shoulder as we walked towards the living room. “Chris and Matt are finishing up at the studio, and I think Dan and Max are finishing up a Fifa--”

“Take that, you bloody cocksucker!”

I gave Josh a disdainful look, but Danielle just laughed at the sudden outburst coming from one of the bedrooms. We heard laughter and then Max came prancing out into the room in nothing but his boxers and a t-shirt. “Max!” I hissed, grabbing his attention and making him realize he most certainly was not alone. “Put some god damn pants on!”

He stopped dancing and looked towards Josh and I, then to Danielle. “Dani!” he exclaimed, running to her and picking her up in a spinning hug. But I had to look away at what they did next.

He kissed her on the lips, and I wanted to gag.

“I can’t believe my best friend and my brother are dating,” I whined into Josh’s chest, but he just laughed at me.

I couldn’t help if it had been several months since they started dating, it still made me cringe. Of course, I had told them from the beginning that I was okay with it and I was. But she was still my best friend and he was still my (step) brother and I couldn’t help if it grossed me out.

“Alright!” Max exclaimed when he was done making out with Danielle. “We’re going to celebrate, right?”

“Celebrate what?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“Everything! Your new job, Dani’s new job, moving, finishing up the new record! I don’t know! Do we need a reason, really?”

And just like that, we were going to a bar, some of us with fake IDs in hand.

There were bars everywhere in LA obviously, but there was only one the guys wanted to go to. I didn’t know the name, and I didn’t care. They let all of us in and that was what mattered. Max ordered us all a round of shots as we took a seat at a big booth in the corner.

When the waitress brought us our round, we all took a glass and set it down in front of us. “I’d like to propose a toast!” Max exclaimed over the music.

We all groaned and rolled our eyes, but then we laughed when he glared at us.

“Oh shut it you wankers!” he yelled, waving us off. “I’d like to toast to finishing the new record!” he cheered, as did the guys.

“And I’d like to toast to Peyton and I’s new jobs!” Danielle added.

I smiled and blushed, but raised my glass. “Here, here!”

“And I’d like to toast to my beautiful girlfriend coming over to live in England!” Josh added last minute, which caused Max to raise his glass in agreement.

“To all of that!” Max said finally, and we all took the shots.

It had been a long year (or two, even), I realized when I slammed my shot glass down triumphantly. I had lost a best friend, but then I had found a new one. I gained a boyfriend I had fallen in love with, lost him, and then found him all over again. I met my step-brother and realized just how important family was. I graduated from college, received a “big girl” job, and then consequently had to quit said “big girl” job all in a few months.

And now, as I sat next to my boyfriend with some of my best friends surrounding me, I was moving to England to live with my best friend while I worked at a well-known publishing house in London.

It wasn’t Boston, and maybe it was a risk, but it was a risk I was willing to take.

I turned to Josh and wrapped my arm around his shoulder, pulling myself into his side. He looked at me and smiled, placing a quick kiss on my lips. “I love you, y’know that?” I said, smiling at him.

He laughed before wrapping his own arm around me. “I had this strange feeling. Maybe it was the you moving to London thing?” he questioned.

I smirked. “Or maybe its the fact that I tell you every single day?”

He chuckled but nodded. “I think that may be it.” He leaned closer then, our faces inches from each other. “But don’t ever stop telling me, alright? Because I went almost a year without hearing it, so we have a lot of time to make up for.”

“I love you,” I smiled, kissing him on the lips. “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you,” I repeated, kissing him on the lips after each time I uttered the phrase. “Tired of hearing it yet?” I smirked.

“Never,” he whispered against my lips, capturing me in a slightly more passionate kiss than my quick pecks. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I heard the groans coming from around the table, but I ignored them. Because right in that moment, I was the happiest I had been in a long time.

Josh and I weren’t perfect. We fought occasionally, butting heads at the stupidest things, but we loved each other. We were inseparable because we couldn’t not love each other. That was all there was to it, and I didn’t care that sometimes it didn’t make sense because I loved him and that was all there was to it.

It feels like the world's spinning faster, towards a beautiful perfect disaster. The moment you kissed me, I knew I was risking it all... It’s something I just can’t undo, ‘cause I can’t not love you.