Friends, Lovers, or Nothing

It was amazing how much free time we had, and the tour has just started.

After Wolverhampton, we had a day off, so of course everyone wanted to get a hotel. It made sense, really. No one wanted to spend the next two days that we had off in the cramped bus. If anything, I didn’t want to spend the next two days on a cramped bus with Danielle and Josh.

I lumbered down to the lower level of the bus with my overnight bag in hand and an exhausted look on my face. I ran into Danielle sitting on the couch with, surprisingly, someone who wasn’t Josh. I collapsed in between Max and Danielle and sighed. “Are we almost to the hotel?” I mumbled, closing my eyes as I lay my head back against the couch.

I heard Max laugh. “Almost love, only about another twenty minutes or so.”

I groaned. I just wanted a bed to sleep in. Was that really too much to ask?

“Rough night, Peyt?” Danielle joked, nudging me gently in the ribs.

I just groaned. “Shut up.” I didn’t protest though, because despite the ‘rough night’ sexual innuendo Danielle was implying, I had had a rough night. I didn’t sleep longer than an hour the previous night, because I just kept dreaming. And if I wasn’t dreaming, my mind was running a mile a minute. Because after the kiss with Ollie, everything just kind of went to shit. In my head, at least.

Danielle and I hadn’t talked about the kiss yet. It was weird that she hadn’t informed me of it yet, but I figured once we were at the hotel, alone in a room and not surrounded by the band and crew, she’d speak up. I hoped at least. As much as I hated it, I wanted to know what was going on.

After we finally pulled in front of the hotel and Rob went inside to check all of us in, we all climbed off of the bus. When Rob and Bryony came back with keys in hand, Rob announced room assignments. “Peyton and Danielle will be in room 326 alone, unless Bryony wants to join you. But there are like four other rooms in the same vicinity which you can split amongst yourselves.”

I didn’t even wait to hear anymore. I grabbed my bag off of the ground, grabbed a key, and took off with Danielle in tow. I needed a bed, and I needed it fast.

As soon as we got to our room, I went to the closest bed and fell face first. I dropped my bag on the ground and curled up in fetal position. I faintly heard Danielle chuckle and then I felt the bed sink in.

“I know you’re tired Peyt, but I want to talk to you.”

I groaned. “Right now?”

“Please? Just for a few minutes, then you can sleep as long as you want.”

I let out a distressed sigh and opened my eyes before sitting up on the bed. “Okay best friend of mine,” I grumbled. “What is it?”

“Josh and I kissed... again.”

I sighed, but nodded. “I know, Dan. I saw you.”

Her eyes widened. “Why didn’t you say something?”

I just shrugged, because I couldn’t say what I wanted to say.

“Is this okay? I mean, we’re not like serious or anything and I doubt we will get serious, but you never know. I just want to make sure it’s okay. Because, I mean, I know you hate him. But he’s not that bad, Peyt. I think you just need to get to know him more, y’know?”

I shook my head. “No Dan, it’s fine. Really. Just because we hate each other doesn’t mean you can’t like him.” I gave her a fake smile, because even though I was lying through my teeth, I wanted her to believe me.

She smiled and hugged me then. “Thanks Peyton. I love you, y’know that?”

I smiled too. “I know.” Because she was my best friend, and despite all of this shit, I did know it. It wasn’t like she was intentionally ripping my heart out and stomping on it with her stilettos. It was just a side effect, all thanks to my own stupidity.

“Okay. Take a nap. Want me to wake you or something?”

I shook my head and lay back down. “No, please don’t.”

She laughed then, and got off the bed. And then it was quiet, and I shut my eyes and for the first time in twenty four hours, I fell into a dead sleep.

***

A knocking on the door woke me.

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Whoever is at that fucking door better be gone when I open it,” I hissed as I crawled out of bed and stumbled over to the front door.

What can I say? I’m not very nice when I’m woken from a dead sleep.

When I found Ollie on the other side of the door with a smile on his face, I wanted to punch him. “I fucking hate you,” I grumbled.

He just laughed. “I thought maybe we could hang out today, get some lunch. Maybe you could finally tell me what you were going to tell me last night.”

I groaned and turned on my heel, heading back to my bed. I collapsed on top of the bed and closed my eyes, but I heard Ollie shut the door and then I heard his footsteps carrying him further into my room.

I sighed. He wasn’t going to give up obviously.

I opened my eyes just barely and peeked at him, still watching me as he leaned against the wall with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

We were both quiet as we just stared at each other for several minutes, but then he broke the silence.

“Come on, Peyton. I need to know what I’m getting myself into here. I don’t mind helping, I just want to know what’s going on.”

I sighed again and sat up on the bed. I nodded, because it was a simple request. He deserved this much, for all he was doing for me. But regardless of how simple it sounded, he was asking so much at the same time.

“Well it started at the beginning of last summer. Around April...”

***

I told Ollie everything. I told him the whole fucking story, and it took me about an hour too. It was long an exhausting and I cried a few times, but I told him. I figured he deserved it.

For some reason though, it didn’t make me feel any better. Having one more person know just made me sick, actually, and that was the worst part.

“Wow love,” he commented from his seat next to me when I finished. “I’m fuckin’ speechless.”

I shrugged limply. I was practically exhausted all over again just from telling him the whole story.

“And you’re sure you want to do this? You sure this will help you out?”

“I don’t know, Ollie. I have no idea. But I can’t sit around and do nothing. I can’t sit and watch as my ex and my best friend fall in love with each other while my heart just gets ripped out every single time I see them together.”

He shook his head and ran a hang through his hair. “You aren’t going to want to hear this, but did you ever think of just telling Danielle? Like, telling her everything?”

“That’s the problem, Ol. Telling people hurts me more. Its like... what Josh and I had was short, but I still...” I trailed off. I couldn’t finish the sentence. “Telling people about Josh and I... it’s not worth it, y’know? It doesn’t do anything but bring up the bad memories, which isn’t good for either of us.”

“Whatever you say, Peyton. I just feel like keeping it bottled up hurts you more in the long run, and I hate seeing you hurt so much.”

I smiled at him sadly. He was so sweet, and I couldn’t believe I was basically using him like I was. It made me feel awful, but at least I wasn’t doing it behind his back. At least he knew everything now. Right?

“You’re sweet, Ollie. And I’m sorry I’m pulling you into this situation. I don’t want to, but I am and I really, really appreciate it.”

He smiled too and slung his arm over my shoulder, pulling me close. “I’m here for you, love. Promise. As long as you need me.”

We sat like that for awhile, just sitting together in silence. And it was nice.

That is, until Max ruined it.

“PEYTON!” I heard him yelling from outside my door. “I know you’re in there, love! Open up, will you?”

I groaned. “My step brother, ladies and gentlemen.”

I got off the bed and Ollie followed me to the door, where I opened it only to reveal the one and only Max. “You’re such a loudmouth,” I muttered, shaking my head in embarrassment. “What do you want?”

He grinned cheekily at Ollie standing behind me. “Were you busy?” he asked us both.

I rolled my eyes and turned to Ollie. “We can go get dinner later or something, maybe?”

He nodded and told me he’d text me before brushing by me and smiling at Max, then heading to his own room.

I brought my attention back to Max, still grinning like mad. “What do you want, you cheeky moron?”

He laughed. “I wanted to go get lunch with my sister! But if she’s too busy for me...” he trailed off.

I laughed too, because I couldn’t help but do so when Max was around. “Just let me change. I’ll meet you in the lobby in fifteen minutes.”

***

After I changed into a pair of skinny jeans, a black sweater, and a pair of cute black boots, I ventured down to the lobby to find Max.

Because he’s Max, he was rather easy to find. He was chatting up the cute receptionist while Dan stood off to the side with his bleach blonde locks and his phone to his ear. Not wanting to interrupt Max, I went to Dan instead as soon as he hung up. “Are you coming too?” I asked when I was closer.

He smiled and nodded before bringing his hand up to his arm, where underneath his shirt there was a fresh tattoo from the day before.

I shook my head. “I can’t believe you got a tattoo, and such a big one at that.”

He shrugged. “Go big or go home as they say.”

Before I could respond, Max came sneaking up on us, grabbing both of our arms and quickly dragging us out of the lobby.

“Max, what the hell?” I yelled at him as soon as we were out on the sidewalk and he was speed-walking away from the hotel with Dan and I still in tow.

“That bird in their wasn’t too fond of my advances, I suppose,” he muttered. “She threatened to call the police,” he added sheepishly.

I just laughed, because what else could I do?

After we got seated at Nando’s and ordered our food, the real reason for today’s lunch came out.

I noticed Max staring at me from across the table as I drank my water. At first I didn’t question it, because I figured it was just Max being weird. But then he wouldn’t stop. And it started to irritate me. “Can I help you?” I finally asked him, irritation evident in my voice.

He shrugged. “Mind telling me what’s going on with you and Ollie? You two seem to be getting pretty cozy.”

I rolled my eyes. “We’re friends, Max. No big deal.”

Dan leaned over closer to me and whispered, “He saw you kiss Ollie, love.”

I groaned. “It’s not a big deal, Max,” I repeated. “We’re just friends.”

“With benefits,” he scoffed.

It would have been funny that Max was getting his panties in such a twist over the whole thing if I wasn’t so irritated. “Please shut up,” I ground between my teeth.

He put his hands up in surrender and didn’t say a word, but that wasn’t stopping Dan.

“We’re just worried, Peyt. I mean I love you like my sister here, and if you’re just messing with Ollie to try and get past the whole Danielle and Josh thing, then you’re just going to hurt yourself. We just don’t want to see you hurt more, Peyt. We’ve seen enough of that to last a lifetime.”

I wanted to add, And how do you think I feel? I mean, I’m the one feeling that hurt. You’re just watching from the sidelines. But I refrained, because it wasn’t my place. They were just trying to help.

“Look guys, Ollie and I are friends. We kissed, but so what? Max kisses Matt and that doesn’t mean he wants in his pants. Actually...” I trailed off, a smirk appearing on my face, and Dan laughed heartily while Max scowled at me.

“I just don’t think you using Ollie as your rebound is very smart,” Max snapped.

It was so unlike him, to get so angry. Max wasn’t an angry boy in general, and especially not with me. Sure we had fought before, but this was so different. It was like he was taking personal offense to this whole ordeal. Which was ridiculous. Unless...

“Max, what do you know?” I hissed at him from across the table.

His eyes grew wide in shock at my sudden tone change. “Nothing! I know nothing!” he insisted.

I knew better though. Max was keeping secrets.

But he wouldn’t be for long.