Life on stand by

My head was spinning, I couldn’t even think straight or even try to keep a serious face. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry, I swore to myself I wouldn’t waste anymore tears on this wasted life but like all things in my life, I just broke down. He tried to calm me down, he tried his old tricks with the old nicknames and the hand through my hair as if it would work just like all the other times before but not this time. Who did this guy think he was? of course I pushed him away and said my trademark line “Don’t touch me” and that alone just made him roll his eyes and say the one line that shattered what was left of my broken little heart. He said ” It’s shit like that, that makes people just want to give up. So you got what you wanted because I give up” and just like that he turned and walked away leaving me alone on the curb. I felt like the world was falling apart or more like it has been falling apart I just kept denying it to myself and Maybe he was right maybe for once in the time that I was with him he was right. I do push people away but I do it unintentionally, I don’t mean to do it, it’s just so hard to let people in sometimes. To think after two years of being strung along that I would have already opened up enough then again he wasn’t around much. Whatever after an hour of just sitting there watching all the cars zoom by and honk but I just ignored them. Till I saw this one car, this blue car park right in front of me. At first i assumed it was one of the people from the cars that honked but luckily it was my best friend of five years, John O'Callaghan better known to me as Johnny Oh. He popped out of car with two other guys that didn’t seem familiar to me. “Spare me the lectures I don’t need it ” I remembered saying but for once Johnny Oh just walked over and sat down right next to me wrapping his arm around me and said ”What lectures? can’t a guy just be driving around with his friends searching for his best friend who just escaped with her psycho non-committing somewhat boyfriend whom he told her to not trust from the beginning that just left her alone on a curb at three in the morning” yeah so much for making me feel better, I totally punched him in the stomach for that. I heard his friends laughing at his comment so I asked them who they were. Great just what i needed right? more people to see me at my worse. ” Oh sorry, the dark shaggy hair kid is Alex and the one with the gay looking hair style is Jack” Johnny Oh said which of course caused that Jack guy punched him again in the stomach, he was really asking for it. After the short introductions, we all piled up in the car and just drove off. I was honestly done for the night, i just wanted to go home crawl into my bed and sleep today really had done a huge number on me.
I just stared out of the car window as I let Johnny drive me to where ever he planned on going without a sound at least from my part, I couldn’t say much for the backseat.
“So your Mel right? what happen? John was going crazy looking for you, hell he had all of us panicking too, saying that some drunk psycho kidnapped you” Jack I believe, said that which only made me raise my eyebrow as I stared at my dirty blond best friend who was now completely focused on the road.
“Psycho Johnny? Kidnapped? really? what’s next raped? gang banged?” I said bitterly. I swear sometimes I felt that he was more of a girl best friend than a guy, he was so dramatic, If you think I’m dramatic then you obviously don’t know Johnathan O'Callaghan. “First of all I was not kidnapped, Adam was my somewhat boyfriend, and we just went off to talk” Turning around in my seat to face the two guys who were exchanging odd stares noticing this I just sank back into my seat. I sound so weird. “Some what boyfriend? how is that even possible?” the shaggy brown hair one Alex answered this time.
“Look don’t worry about it, it’s not a big deal” I replied i didn’t even know these guys why did I have to explain myself? instead i just turned up the radio and continued to stare out of the window. At least till I heard Johnny finish off the story.
“…The guy has commitment issues and has been stringing her along for years and tonight he messed up big time, instead of talking it out he just ditches her because he didn’t like what she was saying” Johnny finished as he pulled up to a house with the music blaring, and lots of people just dancing around, parking their cars, red cups in their hands, to them the party was just beginning right when I just wanted mine to end.
“Gee Johnathan go ahead give them my life story why don’t you, what happen to the best friend code?” I asked but instead I received a pat on the back.
“It’s there along with my wise advice about leaving him that you never took” smart ass i thought as he unlocked the car telling me that I had two choices, stay in the car with no air, or get out dance listen to the band he’s been dying to hear play then go home. The answer was obvious. He slammed the door shut and started walking away from the car with that Jack guy. One two someone was missing.
“Why don’t you come out I’m sure you’ll have a good time, it’ll get your mind off of that guy” he spoke but i kept eyes glued to the window, I didn’t want to leave this spot, I didn’t want to get out and face all those people and feel the embarrassment of them being right and me being the stupid idiot that ignored them.
“C’mon I’ll go with you, we’ll go in together, plus I heard the band’s gonna be killer” I heard him say as I felt him slip into the front seat beside me careful to not bump into me but failed as he bumped into my arm causing me to look at him with all this anger that I've been feeling since the moment Adam did this to me.
“You don’t get it, I don’t want to go in there I don’t want to face those people, I don’t want to do anything, just stay here alone please just leave me alone” and the tears started up again. Who was this guy again? Alex? what is this kid trying to pull with his messy brown hair and those shiny deep brown eyes that kept staring into my dull hazel ones as if he was trying to read me, something a lot of people have tried to do but always failed the moment i closed my eyes but even when i did that he just kept staring at me making my skin grow warm and feeling odd.
“I may not understand the whole situation clearly but I do know what your going through. But you know people are going to think whatever they want no matter if its wrong or right they’re always going to have their own perspective so even if whatever happen tonight didn’t happen they’re going to think something far worse.”
I sat there for a second letting those words sink in, he was right no matter what happen these people never believed me they made up their own stories and called me a liar on various occasions. Why would it bother me so much right now at this moment what they thought? when they knew all along that Adam used me, that Adam never loved me, that i was nothing but a pawn in his game. I wiped those tears away and took a deep breath.
“Thats the spirit” Alex said as he unlocked the car, and we both got out and together we walked in there ready to face the music.

I have to admit I was very scared when I felt all those eyes on me, or at least I thought they were, but I noticed the people were more distracted by Alex and once I spotted where Johnny was with Jack and two other guys, everyone was staring at them too. Maybe I was missing something well whatever it was I was glad that for once I wasn’t the certain of everyone’s attention. Separating from Alex I made my way to the backyard, I don’t even remember who’s house this was but it was beautiful outside. Lucky for me most of the people were inside and there were probably three couples outside just making out. I found a secluded spot by this koi pond, fancy I know. I sat there staring at these strange fish, I couldn’t believe all the crap that happen today it was like a huge never ending rollercoaster ride only it finally ended tonight when he left me on that curb something he never did before but then again there were a lot of things he just never did so what difference did this one stupid this make? none thats what.
“Stupid stupid, I’m so stupid” I said to myself as I splash some of the water in the pond that scared the fish to go deeper underwater.
“Hey Mel, There you I’ve been looking everywhere for you, you kind of ditched me back there” Alex said as he sat down next to me. I could feel my eyes grow wide and my heart jump in fear, where did he come out of? I could have sworn I was alone.
“I just thought you were going to walk in with me I didn’t think much of it” This was getting a little too weird, I barely knew this guy hell i don’t know him but here he is offering advice and striking up conversation and offering me one those famous red plastic cups that I often reject.
“Oh no sorry I don’t drink” I said as i pushed the cup away but he just laughed.
“It’s ok I don’t either, but i figured tonight is just filled with firsts so why not?” Alex said with a smile as he sat down next to me and handed me the cup. He was right tonight was just filled with things that I thought would have never happen had happen all in the matter of one night. So I took a deep breath and took that cup and took the longest gulp i could till the cup was completely empty and placed it on the side of the pond. I noticed Alex's laughter as he placed his cup on the ground too, I felt his eyes burning on me staring at me, watching me, waiting for me but instead I just kept staring at the ground careful to not look at him till he finally broke the silence.

When we talked, I felt as if we knew each other forever lame i know because how many times have you heard that before? But it was different with Alex. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was the fact that we had so much in common. Whatever it was I didn’t care, all i know that I was smiling something I thought wouldn’t be possible.
“…we lasted four years, on and off of course all through high school only tonight she said we were both heading into different paths and that maybe we should end this on and off thing and just call it call off and surprising I wasn’t as hurt by it like I thought I would be” Alex said as he chugged down the rest of his drink. Apparently I wasn’t the only one feeling like crap because of one person.
“I don’t understand why people say that, different paths? how different could our paths all be? if you truly love someone you could be willing to mesh your paths” I believe when I said that I was already a bit wasted just spewing out the pain that was strangling my heart. I felt Alex place his hand over mine as if that simple touch was able to untangle the ropes that was choking my heart and I did feel it loosen up till we both turned our heads to the sound of his name being called from the speakers.
“Uh Alex, Jack to Alex, we sort of need our lead singer in order to start the show dumbass get your ass up here already the crowd is restless” we heard Jack yell through the microphone.
“Shit I completely forgot, come on, you can be front row” and before i could respond he grabbed my hand and we both made our way through the crowd and i found myself standing next to Johnny Oh with two blondes already clinging to his side.
“Hey there you are I was looking all over for you” Johnny said I could tell by the way he slurred the words that he was beyond wasted. I just rolled my eyes as I replied with I’m sure as I focused my attention back to Alex as he made a few jokes with Jack and the rest of the band before he started singing.
“So this was the killer band all of you guys were talking about” I said oh the irony but I do have to admit they weren’t that bad, they were actually pretty good and sort of funny. I couldn't help but dance along and notice how Alex would stare at me every now and then and lean closer to me as he sang. I just couldn't help from smiling or how my cheeks began to burn up.

Once they were wrapping up the final song I could feel my phone finally going off only to see that there was over a million missed calls mostly from my mother and my best girl friend Catty, who has actually been my best friend much longer than Johnny and never lets him live that down, weird. One of Cat's text messages was that my mother kept calling trying to make sure that I was sleeping over her house and not at one of John's infamous parties. Thought my mother adores Johnny like her second son she never approved of his crazy all nighter parties but none of us ever cared we went anyway and he always took care of us. tugging onto Johnny's arm trying to grab his full attention. "Johnny we got to go now my mom keeps spamming Catty we have ten minutes before she calls again or else Catty is dead" with just the sound of that name Johnny quickly unlatched himself from the blonde's arm and quickly grabbed my arm and we both tried to head out of there. We dashed all the way to the car not even noticing how someone was calling after me at least till i felt someone tapping on the window. "Hey Mel where are you going? you didn't even say bye or anything" Alex said his eyes so full of worry was he really paying attention to me the whole time? "I'm sorry I really have to go it's a long story but thank you for tonight you have no idea how much you helped me and I hope one day I can make it up to you" I said as I tried to put up the window while Johnny started up the car. "You can start by giving me your number and we can work from there" Alex said as he handed me his phone to type mine in i couldn't help but give him a confused stare, I turned to look at Johnny who was just laughing as he nudged me "go on type it in he's a good guy" and with that said I did I smiled as I handed him back the phone and with that Johnny drove off and we made it just in time to Catty's house, which of course had Catty standing right there with the phone on her hand a panic look plastered over her face. Of course I promised Catty I would never pull a stunt like this again. But she understood my reasoning for it.