Faded Memories

I needed to get away and think things over. How could I even forget them? Why would this happen? I wiped my tears, trying to clear my vision. As I was turning, I saw a car heading towards me. I shut my eyes, ready for the worst and expecting everything to end. Nothing happened. I opened my eyes, realizing the car had braked before hitting me. I breathed heavily, trying to take in all the events that happened. I saw the woman repeatedly apologize to me from her window but I drove away, not wanting to do deal with the near death experience.

I parked my car, resting my head on the steering wheel. That’s when all the memories came pouring in. That’s why his face looked familiar the first day we “met”. Not because he was the guy I just searched up online, but because he was my boyfriend back then. That explained his expression every time I told him I felt like I’ve known him for forever. The conversation the guys had in the kitchen wasn’t about Cameron not telling me he loved me, but that they were once part of my past. It all made sense now. I flashed back to the moment when I gave Cameron the key.

“I want you to have this,” I placed the key necklace on the palm of his hand and closed it.

“What is it?” He asked me, opening his hand and looking at the key.

“It’s the key to this,” I took off my necklace and showed it to him. “My mom once had it and gave my dad the key. Then she passed it on to me and she told me to give it to the one I know I’ll spend the rest of my life with.” We looked up at each other. His face was glowing when I told him the story.

“So you want me,” he pointed to himself, “to have the key to your heart?”

“As cheesy as it may sound, yes.”

He put the necklace around his neck and held onto it before embracing me into a hug. We stood like this for while, holding on and never letting go.

I came back to reality, trying to focus my mind on other things. It was no use. The memories didn’t stop flooding in. I thought about the day we went to the park.

“Bet you I can swing higher than you can,” he challenged me. We were walking around the neighbourhood until we found a park with a swing set, slide and everything else.

“I bet you I can,” I raced him to the swing and sat down. I moved back, getting a good start. I started off a little rough, but as I kept my feet straight every time I moved forward and tucked my feet every time I went back, I kept getting higher and higher. I looked at Cameron who was now lagging and couldn’t get as high as me. I started to slow down my swinging and had my feet touch the ground to stop. I got off the swing and punched my fists into the air. “Ha, I beat you!”

“Shut up.” He came up to me and kissed me to keep me quiet.

“Sore loser,” I called him as we pulled away and held onto each other.

He rolled his eyes at me and headed for the tree where we always sat. He took out a Swiss Army knife he had in his pocket. I followed him and looked at what he was carving.

“Cam, you’re ruining the poor tree.”

“I know, but I want people to know that this is our tree.” He finished carving our initials and started to carve a heart. Once he finished, he blew on it getting rid of any leftover bark. I ran my fingers over the carving and grinned.

I shook my head of the memory and wiped the tears that were already falling down my cheeks. I brought my knees close to me and thought of the one thing I didn’t want to think about: the fight.

“So, how do you feel about Cameron and the guys touring?” Cameron’s sister, Anna, asked me.

“Tour? What tour?” I asked her. Cameron hadn’t told me about any tour. Oh dear, this boy was dead to me.

She bit her lip and told me, “Oh, I think you should talk about this with Cameron.”

I got up from my chair and walked over to Cameron’s bedroom where he was cleaning.

“Hey Abby!” He walked over to me, arms wide open.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going on tour?” My expression was filled with hurt. Out of all people, I was the last to know. His smile fell and became nervous.

“I was going to tell you, but–”

“When were you going to tell me Cameron, huh? You know, out of all people, I was the last to know and I had to hear it from your sister. Do you even know how I feel right now?” My voice began to raise, something that I hated doing but was happening anyway.

“I was going to tell you the day we were going to leave,” he mumbled, making no eye contact with me.

“How long are you going to be gone for?” I stuck my hip out and placed my hand on it.

“For almost 3 months,” I could barely hear him say.

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed heavily. I felt lied to. I couldn’t believe Cameron didn’t tell me, especially since he was going to be gone for a long time.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” my voice began to crack. I didn’t want him to see me cry, so I picked up my bag that was on the floor and headed outside. I was lucky enough to have my parents’ just pull into his driveway, ready to pick me up.

“Where are you going?” I could hear him yell from the front door of his house.

“Anywhere where you’re not,” I yelled back, not bothering to look back. I sat inside and wiped my tears.

“Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?” Autumn asked me. I shook my head no and kept my head down. It wasn’t long before I could hear my dad honking and a truck crashing into us. Before crashing, I saw its headlights come closer and closer to us as if it was saying you are either leaving this earth or you’re starting a new beginning.

I blinked as the tears really began to poor while I looked at the people I needed right now.

“I’m so confused mom and dad. I-I-I don’t understand why I forgot them. They mean the world to me and I forgot about them. I forgot about them and they tried so hard to try and get me to remember them. Why did this happen? I lost you two and the memory of the people I really loved and cared about.” I got down on my knees and sobbed. I placed my hands on the grass and hung my head low, feeling defeated. “Why? Why did this happen?” I looked at the tombstone that belonged to my parents.

It was all so confusing. I forgot about them. It’s all my fault. If I didn’t walk out on Cameron, this wouldn’t have happened. My parents would still be here, I’d still have my memory and Cameron and I would still be going strong. I screwed up. Big time.