I'm Addicted to the Thrill

“Dani’s going to Ottawa with us,” Jonny said walking in step with me as we walked through the underbelly of Bridgestone Arena. Part of me wondered if her parents were going to be at the game or if they had something better to do. Ever since the wedding, Dani has been pissed at me.

I guess I warranted it. The joke had ruined what I thought had been better. I almost expected Dani to have shown up at the game. She had said something to Niki and thus to Jonny and then to me through the grapevine about maybe seeing if she could sneak home for a while. She then said she wasn’t going to be able to make it. Honestly, it would have been better knowing that she was at the game. I thought I could use it as a chance to make everything better.

“I bet she’ll have fun with that,” I finally sighed. Dani hadn’t even told me that about her joining Jonny, Hossa, and I. I figured that she would have let me know her plans.

“Probably. She’s going to spend all her time with Niki,” laughed my friend. He had heard me complain about the way Dani was laughing, and he had told me once he agreed with her anger but not her reaction. Maybe he knew something that I didn’t. Maybe I should’ve stopped thinking about her as soon as she walked away from the wedding. “You should call her later.”

We walked into the locker room in silence. Dani had told me the one time I had texted her that she was busy, and I hadn’t even attempted to talk to her since then. That probably should have been changed much sooner than I even thought of it. At work, she avoided me normally only saying a few things like what she needed from me or she would tell Jonny the instructions for both of us.

The game didn’t go the way I had wanted or the way the guys had wanted. With Jonny injured now, I had the sinking feeling I would be going to Ottawa with just Marian and Dani. No more Jonny. No more Niki. The flight back to Chicago paired with the idea of playing the team who just beat us by three goals made for a restless evening.

“You could make it up to her somehow,” said Corey as we walked off of the plane. It was different seeing Niki not standing with Dani waiting. The fact that they weren’t together didn’t seem strange to anyone but me. I couldn’t believe that I was actually worried about how she felt about the situation.

“Dani wouldn’t buy that I wanted to take her to a super early breakfast,” Niki joked as I walked past her. I shrugged.

I woke up that afternoon to a note on my front door. I looked at the handwriting and rolled my eyes at the fact that Dani didn’t bother coming in at some point. She still had the key I gave her to my apartment. She would have been able to use it instead of taping a message to my door. I read it and threw the note in the trash. Sure, I’ll call you, I thought, when I don’t feel like being kicked while I’m down.

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Dani’s POV
I watched as the boys lost to the Predators again. So many rookies in the lineup were the reason that I had heard thrown around the office, but I didn’t really care. I just thought that it was better for the boys to have a break for a few days before coming back to the sport.

I was excited until I sat down on the plane. Normally flying had no trouble for me. I wasn’t afraid of dying on the plane. I usually had people who were tolerable to sit next to for my flight no matter what the airtime was. Until I realized that Patrick was sitting next to me, I had been looking forward to just getting to Ottawa.

“Sorry I never called you,” he said. He had startled me out of the reading I had been doing. I looked over at him and shrugged. I figured that the note had been just taken by whatever girl he could have had at his place. Maybe I had been wrong.

“It’s whatever,” I said turning the page of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I prayed that my reading wouldn’t get interrupted again. He seemed to take the book as a sign that I wanted to be left alone.

The voice of the pilot came on saying something about descending into the capitol of Canada in both French and English, and I felt Patrick nudge me. I looked over at him and wondered what he wanted. I was surprised to feel his lips meet mine, and for the shortest time, I felt as though there was something right about this then it hit me that I shouldn’t have been doing this. Pushing him away, I could feel the anger building up in me. I was supposed to be mad at him, and I was still mad at him for all the reasons that made kissing him hard on me.

“Have dinner with me,” he said. “Well, me and my parents. They know you’re in Ottawa with me.”

I glared at him. I didn’t want anything to do with him, yet I nodded. I had loved the Kanes from my few experiences with them. His dad always treated me better than my dad had treated Patrick. It bothered me though that I didn’t know what his reasoning behind me going with him was. I screamed at myself internally and almost regretted giving him a yes for my answer. The draft was the next night, and I figured it would give me something to think of in my hotel room.

“Fine,” I sighed sealing my agreement.

-x-

The Kanes treated me fairly enough. I almost thought that they didn’t know I was no longer romantically involved with their son. Anna had told me that I got Thursday night to myself since Friday was media day. I just couldn’t believe it. A night in Ottawa on my own. Mr. and Mrs. Kane offered for me to sit with them and watch the draft, but I had decided to spend the night in my room.

“That blonde is unbelievable,” Kane said. I could feel my blood boiling at those few words the camera caught him saying.

I then realized that I wasn’t so much angry as I was hurt. The idea of him just getting caught on camera checking out another girl broke my heart. Sure, we weren’t together, but I thought that he still actually had feelings about me. The telecast proved me wrong. I shut off the television and called Niki.

“He’s an ass,” I told her the second she answered the phone. “I thought he still liked me, but I guess I was wrong. He could have been more discrete about checking someone out.”

“You broke up with him, Danielle. Talk to him. You need to address it, and not call me to complain about it. He needs to know how you feel,” she answered me.

It was my fault. I pushed him to it. I grabbed my needles and took the frustration I felt out on the knitting project I had in my bags. At least with an afghan, I wouldn’t finish it before the trip was over and be without something to channel any of my feelings into. I just wanted someone to hug. I wanted Patrick to be mine again. I just didn’t want to seem weak. I couldn’t give in.

At least, he knocked on my door first that night.