I Know You're With Me.

I sat upon the window sill, and placed my left hand delicately on the freezing cold window. I stared out into the Winter Wonderland, from the safety and warmth of my home. I watched as white flakes fell from the heavens, and landed softly, blanketing the ground.

My memory flashed back twelve years ago, to when I was five. Life was much simpler, when I had my best friend, Gavin, by my side. We wouldn't go anywhere without each other; He was my partner in crime. I remember, every year at Christmas time, Gavin and I come into my house, after being outside all day, and my mom would read A Christmas Carol to us. She would read it to us every year, no matter how old we were. When I turned thirteen, he told me he wanted to marry me someday. And, right when he had said that, we swore we wouldn't marry anyone else, but each other.

One year after that, he was in a wreck. He was driving back from a store, around this time of the year; He had just gotten his permit. The roads were covered in ice; They were a death sentence waiting to happen. A truck appeared out of no where in the middle of the road, and he swerved to the left, attempting to avoid it. He slid right into an ice patch, and the car spun out of control. The car landed upside-down, and an ambulance was immediately rushed to the scene. Everyone in school knew Gavin was my best friend, and I was his. I remember wondering why Gavin hadn't called me at all, that day. I remember my mom telling me to go to the car with her. And, I remember her telling me that my best friend had been in a wreck. I remember everything.

~

“Hello, how may I help you?” The receptionist asked me.

“G-Gavin. Gavin Ward. I-I need his room number,” I replied frantically, stuttering on every other word.

“Are you family?”

“Y-yes, I'm his sister,” I lied.

She removed her reading glasses, and eyed my suspiciously, but gave a quick nod, nonetheless. She began quickly typing on her keyboard, and looked at me. “513,” she stated.

I turned on my heels, and ran to the elevator. I hit the button, and waited for about five seconds. I realized I couldn't wait any longer, so I took the stairs. I frantically ran up them, taking three stairs at a time. When I was finally on the fifth floor, I opened the door, and ran out into the hallway.

507...509...511...513.

I busted into the room, without knocking, and saw him. My best friend was laying in a hospital bed, with so many cords hooked up to him. His face was bruised, and so was the rest of his body. Tears fell from my cheeks; I covered my mouth with my left hand, so he wouldn't hear me. His mother was on her knees, beside of his bed. Her head was down, and she was holding his right hand. I slowly walked closer to him, trying to see if he was awake or not, but I couldn't tell. I got down on my knees, on the opposite side of the bed his mother was on, and I took his left hand. I knew his mother could tell I was here, but she never looked up. I held his hand to my face; it was so cold and lifeless. I kissed his fingertips, and mumbled prayers into his palm. His hand twitched lightly, after a few minutes. I looked up at his face, and his eyes were opening.

“Sapphy?” He murmured, with his eyes on me. His mother looked up in disbelief, and then she looked at me.

“This is the first time he's woke up since the accident,” His mother stated, her voice cracking. She got up, and ran to the phone, to call the nurse and tell her.

“Gavin,” I mumbled, hugging him tightly. He pulled back, and stared into my eyes.

“Who made you cry? I'll kill them,” He questioned. I laughed, and wiped my face. Then, he motioned for me to come closer.

“You know I would have married you, right?” He whispered in my ear. “It's not going to happen, but I want you to be happy. Be happy forever, and forget about me.”

“Gavin, stop talking like that!” I exclaimed. “You're going to be fine.”

He smiled weakly, and shook his head. “No, I'm not, Sapphy. But, you're going to be fine.”

“Gavin, yes, you will.”

“You've always been so stubborn. But, that's just another reason why I love you,” He stated, smiling. “You know, you're mom would be reading us A Christmas Carol, anyone other time, right now.”

I nodded, and smiled. He bit his lip, and looked at me. “Open that drawer,” He said, looking at the night stand beside him.

“Now what?” I asked, opening it.

“Take out the only thing in it,” He said, laughing. I reached my hand in the drawer, and pulled out a present. It was wrapped in green paper, and had a red bow on it. “I got that for you, today. That's where I went...But, I didn't wrap it,” He said, laughing.

“You...bought his for me?” I asked, staring at him. He nodded.

“Don't open it now. Open it one day...One day when you miss me. And, when you open it, I want you to smile, and think of me. Think of us.”

I started crying again, and he shook his head. “Please, don't cry,” He said, frowning. “I'm going to miss you, Sapphire.” He never called me by my full name. Never.

I shook my head, and told him to stop talking like that, repeatedly. Then, he looked at me, and took my hand.

“Too bad I never got to kiss my future wife, eh?” He said, laughing. I smiled through my tears, and stood up. I leaned down, and kissed him. When I pulled back, he closed his eyes. “I love you, Sapphy.”

“I love you too, Gavin,” I murmured, and his hand went limp. The heart monitor had a steady, long beep.

“No, no, no, no,” I chanted, shaking my head. His mother looked up, and ran over. She started sobbing, and fell to the ground. A team of nurses ran into the room, and they tried to pull me off of him.

“Ma'am, you have to leave,” A doctor said firmly. Someone had already taken his mother out of the room. Two nurses came and picked me up, they sat me down on a row of chairs, outside of Gavin's door. I heard a doctor proclaim the time, and day. And, realized I had just lost my best friend.

~

I removed my hand from the window, and saw the imprint it left. I wiped my tears away from my face, as my mom came in. She walked over me quietly, and hugged me without saying a word. She knew two years ago today, it all happened. I hugged her back, and just cried. She mumbled reassurances in my ear, and, after a few more minutes, walked out.

I walked over to my dresser. I opened the drawer, and took out the gift that Gavin had given me. It was still like it was the day he gave me. I stuck my finger under the corner, and pulled the paper apart. It was a picture frame. There was a picture of him and I, one Christmas; It was the Christmas he had told me he wanted to marry me. We were sitting on a swing, and talking to each other. I remember his mom came out, and took a picture of us. I started crying, again.

I gripped the picture frame tightly, and walked outside. I laid in the snow; I just laid there, hoping to freeze to death. I was done with this. I was done with life. I couldn't do it anymore. I started shaking from the cold, but I didn't move. I hoped I froze. It felt like I had been out there for an eternity, but it couldn't have been more than an hour. I closed my eyes, and drifted to sleep

~

Gavin was standing in a bright light. “Gavin?” I asked. Then, I ran to him. “Gavin!”

He smiled at me, and hugged me. When we pulled back, he frowned. “Why are you doing this?” He asked. “Why are you trying to hurt yourself?”

“Gavin...I killed you. I texted you, and asked where you were. You were reading my text, when you wrecked, weren't you?” I asked, knowing the answer. He nodded lightly.

“But, don't blame yourself, don't be sad. I'm so happy here. And, one day, you'll be with me,” He said, smiling. “But, right now, you have to go take care of yourself.”

“No, don't go, Gavin. Don't go,” I mumbled, but he was gone.

~

I was shook awake. I looked around, and I was in my living room, with a blanket covering me.

“Oh, honey, you're awake!” My mom exclaimed, hugging me. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, Mom...Actually, I'm great,” I said, smiling.

“You know what?” She asked, then she looked around. She pulled out a book. It was A Christmas Carol.

“Mom, I...I don't think you should read that. You always read it with Gavin here,” I said, about to cry.

“Oh, Sweetie...he is here,” She stated.

I nodded, and smiled. “You're right.”