Baby, Just Breathe.

“Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed”

John was zombie-walking to the kitchen with big bags under his eyes, and I thought he felt sick. Sophia still was in bed and Mrs. O’Callaghan left the house as soon as I got there. I was reading the newspaper on the kitchen counter while John was preparing himself breakfast. He sat down in front of me and started eating with a disgusted face. I wanted to be sarcastic and have fun of him as he did with me every time but he really looked awful. I didn’t ask anything until I found his face on the counter.

“John, are you ok?”

“My head hurts”

“Are you hung over?”

“Kind of”

“What did you last night?”

“I stayed up all night because I had to finish a couple of lyrics, so I helped myself with a bottle of whiskey”

“That was clever”

“I don’t need sarcasm to realize I’m a douche”

“You sure are”

“My stomach is begging me to vomit”

“Vomit then”

“I hate throwing up”

“Nobody loves it. Do you want some help?”

“Ew no, I can do it on my own, thanks”

He walked to the toilet and locked the door. I didn’t hear anything so I felt worried, but as soon as I reached the toilet he came out with a horrible plain face. I convinced him to go upstairs and try to get some rest; I got into his room for the first time, seeing he was a huge fan of Tom Petty. My dad was a fan too.
I looked around for a while before hearing Sophia’s footsteps entering the room. She just reached his brother’s bed and got into it, hugging him.

“If your tummy hurts, mine hurts as well”

I smiled at what I saw, and then I left the two of them alone and got back downstairs, noticing a couple of letters on the floor. The postman was always on time. At 10 am he was there.
Mrs O’Callaghan always told me to open the letters and call her if there was some important communication to give her. All they received was bills and an invitation to some event.
I opened this last letter to see that someone invited the family to a wedding. The card said a certain Serena O’Callaghan – that I suppose was some kind of relative- and Carter Hurley were getting married the very next Saturday, in Phoenix, at 3 pm in a really nice restaurant that was printed on the back of the card.
I left all the letters in the kitchen and waited for the siblings to come down, thing that happened at lunch.
I prepared food for us three, and apparently I wasn’t a bad cook. They always liked my spaghetti sauce.

“Is your stomach good now?”

“Not really, but this pasta is really yummy”

“Lauren is even better than Gordon Ramsey”

I laughed at what Sophia stated. She always complimented me and it was as flattering as when his brother did. After lunch Sophia started to watch a Hannah Montana marathon on Disney Channel, while I was washing the dishes. John was wandering in the house with nothing to do. He came back with all the letters in his hands, the ones I’ve been checking too. He sat down and started talking.

“My dad should understand that calling from Australia is expensive”

“High phone bill?”

“Hell yeah”

“Well at least he calls. Mine never does” I guess he felt embarrassed, because he didn’t reply “don’t worry, it’s not a problem for me. We can talk about it”

“Do you miss him?”

“I wouldn’t say I do. I just don’t care”

“I’m sorry”

“Don’t be. I’m not”

He changed topic when he found the wedding invitation.

“My cousin is getting married!?”

“Apparently”

“She’s crazy! She’s with this guy from one year!”

“What if they’re in love?”

“I doubt that. It’s because he owns half Gilbert”

“Then your cousin’s just clever and wanted to settle”

“I wouldn’t get married to someone I don’t love”

“I wouldn’t get married at all” he stopped talking again “my parents’ marriage was a disaster; I don’t want mine to be as well. And then I don’t believe in the conception of marriage itself, why should a piece of paper state the love two people feel for each other?”

“Weird. Every girl dreams of her own wedding day”

“I would marry just for the ceremony and the honey moon”

“You’re being cynical, you know right?”

“I am cynical, that’s what I learned from my parents. Love sucks”

“Have you ever been in love? You can’t really tell if you never were”

“Not really. I just think it sucks because my parents’ were in love but then everything went wrong”

“Every couple is different; you can’t just take them as your only example. Look at my parents: they’re still in love after 25 years, even if they live miles apart”

“They’re the exception” I wanted to stop talking about me “What about you? Have you ever been in love?”

“I don’t know, but I guess I was close”

“What happened then?”

“She broke up with me, just that”

“Did that hurt?”

“A lot, but probably because she was my first girlfriend and real crush ever”

“See? Love sucks”

“Well it wasn’t always like that. There were some days when we were together that I felt amazing”

“But then she broke your heart, so I’m right”

“You just don’t like to give up, don’t you”

“I’m always right, even when I’m wrong”

He laughed out loud and shook his head while I was tiding up the kitchen. He read the invitation once more before staring at me. I knew something was coming up. He always had weird ideas and his facial expression didn’t really comfort me.

“Come with us to the wedding”

“Are you kidding me?”

“No! Come with us to the wedding. I will show you you’re wrong”

“I don’t have a dress and heels”

“Come on Lauren every girl has a dress and a couple of high heels!”

“I’m not one of the family, I’m not invited”

“I’m inviting you right now! We will have fun!”

“What if I have something important to do?”

“What’s so important to do in Tempe!?”

“Oh, fucking hell, OK! You’re so obnoxious! Didn’t you feel knocked out!?”

“I suddenly feel amazing, thanks to you”

“I will kill you soon”

He smiled and walked out the kitchen. He always left me there like an idiot, thinking that every time he won. I couldn’t win over him, he always had the best. Now, I had to go to a wedding with him.
I never went to one, and that time I would have felt such an outsider.
I would have blamed everything on John. He owed me so much for that.