Baby, Just Breathe.

Beating Hearts Baby

“Mr. O’Callaghan it was a pleasure to meet you, I hope we will see each other again”

“It was my pleasure, darling. Be careful and take care at college, ok? And while you’re still here just don’t keep on eye on Sophia, but also on John…”

“Dad I’m not 14!”

“Oh, really?”

We all laughed at John, before his dad got into the car and his mother drove him to the airport. Sophia wanted desperately to go with them so I had to spend two hours alone with John before they would have come back. I really hoped he had practice or something else to do, but he decided to stay and keep me company by saying he didn’t want me to be ‘forever alone’.

“If you want me, I’ll stay. If you’re still trying to avoid me, I’ll go”

“John this is your house, you can do what you want”

“But you would prefer than I was gone, right?”

“Do whatever pleases you”

“Then I’ll stay”

He sat next to me on the couch, turning the TV on. He changed channels until he found a documentary about the desert in Africa: I thought he would have changed that too but he looked really interested.

“Really?”

“What? Don’t you like documentaries?”

“Are you seriously watching a documentary?”

“Yes, why is that weird?”

“Because you don’t look like someone who is into documentaries”

“And tell me, what should I be into?”

“Well, you’re a 21 year old guy, so I guess porn is the right answer”

“Why are you assuming I do watch porn?”

“Because you’re a guy John”

“That doesn’t mean anything and, besides, why are we even talking about this”

“You wanted the truth”

“I didn’t expect you to talk about porn”

“I’m sorry if you are used to prude girls”

He puffed and turned off the TV, turning to me with a concerned look on his face. I didn’t know what to expect. Something was coming and my intuition was telling me it wasn’t something good.

“You are pretty singular. I’ve never met a girl like you before”

“Is this a compliment?”

“Yes, I guess so”

“Well, thanks then John”

We remained in silence for a while, and I avoided his eyes because my heart was starting to race.
It was hard for me to not have a breakdown: we were alone, on a couch, he was wearing shorts and a tank, his eyes were looking at me, his lips were really something I would have wanted to taste in that moment, and the fact he was complimenting me didn’t help.

“Are you still avoiding me?”

“I’m not avoiding you John”

“Liar”

You say you don’t want me, I think you’re a liar.

“John, I’m here to baby sit your sister, not to be your best friend, or your new fun game for the time you’re home. I’m trying to find my way back to the start, you always sing that line, or am I wrong?”

“Oh I’m sorry princess, I was just trying to find some color in that black and white attitude of yours”

“And know look who is the one having an attitude”

“I’m just saying that I don’t believe you, you’re hiding something and you can’t deal with it by avoiding me every time I enter the room. I feel that. Even Sophia got that something’s wrong”

Dammit, he got it. Dammit, I wasn’t as smart as he was. He may have looked like a fool but he was a good observer. I just looked away and felt my heart bumping. I didn’t know what to say, but by saying nothing he would have gotten that he was right, so I managed something.

“Listen John, I know that you think everybody’s at your feet, everybody… but not me. You can’t fool me by complimenting me. I’m not one of your fan girls who would do anything to have you for an hour”

“I never said you were”

“But you’re treating me like one”

“You’ve got the wrong impression then”

“I doubt that”

“Ok, whatever” he stood up “think whatever you want, you’re impossible to talk to”.

He left the room and I felt angry. Angry, especially with me. I tried every way to push him away, every time he tried to get closer. I was clearly having issues, but not with him. The main issue was me in the first place.
I always said I didn’t want to get involved in some sort of relationship, I always wanted to be clear: if I dated a guy was because I liked him and because he liked me back. No drama, no paranoia, no doubts, just the truth. When I didn’t like the guy, I just told him why and I kept on living my life happily. See, no drama at all.
Knowing, or should I say, not knowing, what John wanted from me, gave me nerves. The fact I wasn’t right, made me mad. And the fact that I liked him way too much than what I expected was the worst part of this.
So yes, this time the situation was full of drama, and I didn’t like it, because I didn’t know how to work it out. John always teased me with little mind games, he looked cool but he asked questions to make things awkward between us, then we fought, then he apologized and made fun of me like nothing happened…and all those things were wandering in my head like massive question marks with no answers.
I was paying too much attention, when usually I didn’t care. That’s why I knew I really liked John.

“So, are you coming to my party next Saturday?”

He came back eating a sandwich, and again, acting like nothing happened.

“Yes, I guess so. You need some help?”

“Not really”

“Just ask if you need it”

“I’ll keep that in mind, thanks”

He went upstairs and closed himself in his bedroom. I puffed and turned on the TV again, trying to concentrate on the news, just to have something else to think about, with no results.
Sophia and his mom came back and fortunately they kept me busy until the time to go home came.
John got downstairs just before I could take my bag and go out.

“Aren’t you staying for dinner?”

“You didn’t ask me to say”

“I’m asking you now”

“I could have plans”

“Yes, sure” he didn’t even listen “Mom, is that ok if Lauren stays for dinner?”

In the meanwhile, Sophia ran to me and begged me to stay. From the kitchen Mrs. O’Callaghan told us that it would have been cool if I stayed. I looked down to Sophia who started to pray on her knees.

“Ok, I’ll stay, happy?”

Sophia was so happy that she jumped on me. I looked over John, who blinked at me.
Again, I avoided eye contact, because I was sure I was blushing. That guy was the death of me.
He knew how to get me, how to make my heart beat faster, how to make me smile, to make me laugh, to make me blush, with just a small compliment or a smile, or an invite to dinner.
I guess I should have said John was a pretty singular person too. I’ve never met a guy like him before.
And maybe that’s just why I couldn’t stop falling for him, why I liked him more and more, day by day.
♠ ♠ ♠
Outfit

Ok, time for a quick update!
I love these two, seriously. John is totally the cutest thing ever :)
And she is SO confused, but she knows she is falling fast...but anyway it wouldnt be hard to fall for the guy, right? I think we all love him.
I want to thank you for commenting and still subscribing, this means a lot to me.

AND the big news of this week is that I've booked my flight for this summer, which means I'm gonna be in the US for 2 weeks. I'll visit Los Angeles/San Francisco/Las Vegas and....PHOENIX! Right! I'm seeing the big M wall and I can't wait :)
Hopefully if The Maine will play while I'm there I can also go to a show, I really hope. I miss them so much and I envy you all who are going to their tour in May.

Anyway, any prediction? What do you think?
I'm gonna be home from work from Thursday to Sunday for some italian national holidays so YAYYY. I'll be writing more and maybe updating before the weekend, who knows?
Stay tuned!

Danielle
xxxx