Baby, Just Breathe.

The whole night consisted of me complaining to my friend Kate, who was in college already thanks to a pre-admission, and most of all thanks to her being a complete genius, on the phone. I told her I didn’t want to go and deal with a child, because I thought children were evil and every time I tried to have a talk with one of them, in one way or another they end up crying or telling me I suck. I wasn’t a good example for children and being a babysitter wasn’t my kind of thing. They didn’t like me as much as I didn’t like them. It was a relationship destined to begin in a bad way and end in one even worse.

“You know you have to do it, so just shut up and take the money. It won’t be that bad. It can’t be”

“How do I even know how to babysit a young girl? I don’t. I can’t even look after myself, how am I supposed to look after a minor? This is going to suck, Kate”

“Lauren you make it sound like a tragedy! It’s just a little girl!”

“I wonder what popped into my mom’s head when she accepted that job for me”

“She just wants you to do something with your life. You can’t just stay in a room for the whole summer. Go out, in the sun! You’re in Arizona, the sun is always up and hot there!”

Yes, I lived in Arizona, in a town near Phoenix, called Tempe. But it wasn’t even near to the conception that people have of Arizona. I didn’t live near the Grand Canyon and all the people in my town were close minded. I didn’t like that much. Let’s say I survived there.

“Everything will be ok, believe me. There’s nothing to be scared of”

“I’m not scared. I am just being realistic. That’s not my thing, that’s all”

“It’s just experience, put it this way. Let me know how it goes ok? Talk to you tomorrow”

“ You know what, it’s your fault- if you-“

She interrupted me. I was about to say ‘you left me here all alone’ but I knew she hated to be blamed for that. I was happy for her, she did the right thing accepting that program at Stanford that I couldn’t ask her to stay for me, but still, I felt so alone without her.

“Don’t even start. We already talked about that…girlfriend. I’ll see you in September. Goodnight”

She ended the conversation and I imagined my life at Berkley. Yes, I did have been accepted. It was kind of near to Arizona, it was a great college and I was sure I did the best choice. Besides, Stanford wasn’t that far. The two of us could have met up easily if we wanted to.
I felt asleep soon, and the next morning I woke up thanks to the nicest mom ever, which was mine. She started screaming I had to be at Sophia’s at 10am and I was late already.
I looked at my alarm clock and I read it was just 8.30am. I was utterly annoyed.

“Please September come fast”

I woke up and got into the shower. I dressed up in the nicest way possible; I didn’t want to look like someone irresponsible to Mrs. O’Callaghan. She was about to give her daughter in the hands of a girl who always had the head in the clouds. I didn’t have any reference, I didn’t have experience. I didn’t even know how come she accepted me for that little job. She didn’t know me. But I didn’t want to know what my mom told her about me. She probably described me like the perfect daughter and girl in town.

“Good morning sunshine!”

“Are you going to take me to Sophia’s or do I have to go alone?”

“Are you going to be nice or what?”

“I’m sorry. I’m not a morning person, you should know it”

She sighed and gave me a giant cup of cappuccino, the only thing that always cheered me up in any case.

“You’re playing it rough”

“I know you girl”

“Yes, you do that much you decided to let me go and babysit when you know I’m not good with kids”

“I wasn’t as well when I had to babysit you 18 years ago”

“I was your baby daughter! It’s totally different!”

“See it like… like Sophia is your little sister. Take care about her and let her have fun with you. You have to play with her, read something, watch TV together, take her to the park and look after her. But she doesn’t have to come back home with any bruise, get it?”

“I’ll try to”

“No, you have to”

I finished my cappuccino so fast that I almost choked.

“So, are you going to take me or…?”

“Didn’t your dad give you a bike a couple of birthdays ago?”

“See you tonight”

I smiled sarcastically and got out of that hell.
At least she could have brought me for the first day.
I got on the old bike and rode it for a couple of blocks. Sophia’s house wasn’t far, fortunately.
When I found it I left the bike on the grass without even caring if someone came and took it.
The porch of the house was nice. The whole house looked like that from outside actually, definitely better than mine. They probably lived in the rich block of the suburb. I sighed and knocked, a bit embarrassed. I really didn’t know what to say and most of all, do. How do you take care of a kid?