Baby, Just Breathe.

The big day came and I really wanted to take it all back. I didn’t want to go to that wedding and pretending I was fine with something I wasn’t. I never liked to lie, unlike my father who always lied to me and my mom.
She always told me I had to go no matter what because it was an important day for my father, but I didn’t care. Selfish or immature, call me whatever you want, but I really preferred being shoot in my head than go to Las Vegas that weekend. Thank God, I had John by my side.

“You look nervous” John said after we he was driving for hours and I was silent most of the time.

“I am indeed” I couldn’t deny the truth. I was nervous and most of all I was unhappy.

“Come on, it’s just a day”

“The worst of my entire life”

“It can’t be that bad”

“You don’t understand, your family is the best ever” I replied, being pretty rude, thing I reckoned the second after “I’m sorry, I’m just in a bad mood”

“It’s ok” I sighed and felt his hand taking mine. I looked at him and tried to smile.

“Thanks for coming with me”

“It’s what a good boyfriend does” I suddenly became all red.

“Boyfriend?”

“Yes, girlfriend. I know I didn’t officially ask you, but I got it for granted”

“Well… I’m ok with that”

“Great” he smiled wide and I couldn’t really stay with a frown by seeing him that happy. We talked about a lot of things for the rest of the trip, just so I wouldn’t have to think about what was about to happen.

John had to drive for five hours straight to get to Las Vegas in time. My dad would have gotten married in one of the most amazing hotels on the Strip: The Caesar’s Palace. I didn’t know how he was able to afford all that, but I thought his new job helped him with the organization of everything. No one gets married in a luxury hotel in Vegas. Well, people do get married in Vegas, don’t get me wrong, but most of the times they’re drunk and the priest is someone who is dressed like Elvis. That really wasn’t the occasion.
Or at least I hoped. I barely knew the woman my dad was about to marry, I just knew she was young enough to be my older sister. I never wanted to spend more than an hour with them both, that’s why I wanted to keep the tradition without going that day.
We got to Vegas in the early afternoon: I knew I had to meet my dad in front of the big fountain inside the hotel, so John dropped me off outside the hotel while he was trying to find somewhere to park his car.
I looked around to see loads of people going in and out the front doors; the air was unbearable and very humid. I entered the big building to see a crowd around two people, and that’s when I knew they were my dad and his fiancée. As soon as he saw me, he made his way to me with the biggest smile I ever saw on his face. He hugged me and kissed me like everything was good between us, thing that totally made me angrier. I knew that going there would have been a bad idea, I knew it.

“Baby, I’m so glad you’re here”

“Dad, cut it ok?” he sighed and whispered something.

“Please, I beg you Lauren. Don’t ruin everything because you’re mad at me ok? We will talk later about this, just be happy for me. We will work our issues out as soon as we are alone”

I sighed and looked away, then thought to what my mom and John told me. It was his day and whether I liked it or not, I just couldn’t act like a complete bitch. I nodded and he thanked me by hugging me again.
Finally John came in as well, and that was when the fun began.

“Dad, this is John. John, this is my dad Michael”

“Nice to meet you sir” my father looked with a weird frown to John. I knew he doesn’t expect anyone to come with me, or at least anyone but a guy. I didn’t tell him I was bringing someone and especially someone like John. Let’s say it was a little revenge.

“You didn’t tell me you were going to bring a date”

“I must have forgotten” I grinned and he got I was just playing like a child.

“Well, no problem then” I was sure he had a lot of problems with it but he knew he couldn’t say anything also “I got you a room Lauren, we will celebrate at 7pm in the chapel near the pools. If you need anything just ask” he gave me the key to the room and I thanked him “behave”.

John and I walked to the August Tower, to our room. My dad wouldn’t have paid another room just for John, so we had to share mine for the night. That was brilliant.
We got to the 29th floor and reached for the room number 2951. When we got into we were shocked: that room was huge, and it had just one king size bed. It had a giant bathroom and the Jacuzzi.
I’ve never seen something that cool in my entire life. My dad for once did something good.

“That’s freaking amazing” John said looking around, opening every door and drawer.
I went to the windows, opening the curtains: we have the view on the whole Strip in front of us.
“Kudos to your dad” he added, making me laugh.

“Well I must say this is the coolest thing he ever did actually”

“I thought he was going to kill me”

“He can’t do anything; he knows I’m right about being mad at him”

“I hope you can solve your issues”

“And I hope tomorrow comes fast so we can head back home”

“But I don’t want to get back now! Look where we are!” he jumped on the big bed and then laid down looking at the ceiling “Never been in any place like this, it’s fucking great”

“John O’Callaghan is surprised by luxury? I thought you were used to these kind of things when you’re on tour” he laughed out loud.

“In my dreams! Babe, I share a bus with other 10 guys who smell grosser than me for more than two weeks, do you know what it means?” I shook my head “I wish I could spend my nights in some cool hotel like this but unfortunately I have to sleep in a smelly bunk under Pat. It’s awful, believe me”

“I don’t envy you in this case”

“I wouldn’t envy me either” he sat on the bed “why don’t you come and sit here with me for a while?” I took my shoes off and reached the bed, sitting on it. John made me lay down and so did he.
We watched TV together on the big LED screen hanging on the wall in front of us for a while, and then I decided to go and get ready. I had a relaxing bath in the Jacuzzi before having a proper shower.
For the wedding I decided to wear a blue dress, with blue heels and same colored bag. I was pretty obsessed with making my clothes match every time I went out, even just to buy something to eat.
After mine, it was John’s turn to use the bathroom. He came out all just with boxers on and I felt really awkward to share a bedroom with him. I thought then what could happen that night, and I shivered.
He was wearing a pair of black trousers and a white shirt with a black tie: very elegant and mature.
When he saw me all prepared he remained flashed.

“You are beautiful” I smiled and thanked him “Are we ready to go?” I nodded and he gave me his hand. I took it and we made our way out the room together, reaching for the chapel.
I was very nervous but I was trying to calm down. When we got to the little church, there weren’t a lot of people. My dad was already waiting at the end of the short aisle and when he saw me I almost thought he was about to cry. He smiled at me and I did the same, trying to be as sincere as possible.
John and I sat pretty far from the altar, basically at the first chairs we spotted were free.
The ceremony started and when my dad’s new wife made her entrance in the chapel, all the people were in pure aw. Actually she was younger than my mom, probably in her 30ies, and she looked very good in that simple white wedding dress, with her brown hair in a ponytail. Actually the only thing about her was the name, because I never wanted to know more. For me she was the one my dad decided to leave our family for: I always looked at her like the one who ruined our perfect life. Definitely immature, I know.
Then and there, I thought she looked stunning, no matter what.

After the ceremony I went up to the happy couple to give them my congratulations. I wasn’t that rude, after all. Kelly, this is the bride’s name, thanked me and even hugged me. My dad did the same and I felt very uncomfortable. Then we all went to this huge buffet thing to the other luxurious hotel next to the Caesar’s Palace: the Bellagio. I tried to talk with everyone else and especially to smile.
Then my dad asked me to follow him, because, apparently, he really wanted to talk to me. We went outside the hotel, in front of it, where there was this lightened lake.

“I’m really glad you decided to come after all”

“You already told me”

“Well I mean it” I nodded and smiled weakly “it’s very important for me to have you here today”

I suddenly wanted to ask him a question that was eating me alive since he left “What does she have more than mom?” he looked at me like I asked him to kill someone.

“They’re very different” he started “Your mother is the love of my life, I can’t deny it. But Kelly always makes me feel good, no matter what. Even when I come home from work and I’m tired. Me and your mom had issues and you know how much we used to fight” I nodded “I wasn’t happy anymore, and so wasn’t she. It’s better for the both of us if we stay a part”

“Why do you cheated on her then. Why didn’t you just tell her you didn’t love her anymore?”

“It’s not that easy as it seems”

“You didn’t even try. You chose the easiest way. You were selfish”

“I know. And I’m here to change the way I made you feel in the past years. If you just let me”

“It’s not that easy as it seems” he sighed “Dad you can’t just think everything can be cool between us right now. It’s been five years. Five years and you barely called me. I actually don’t even remember if you called me for my last birthday. You can’t just ask me to go back and do it all again from the beginning. It doesn’t work like this for me. I need time”

“I just want us to be a family”

“Well I’m sorry for you but last time I checked you didn’t want to be part of my family, and there’s no way I’m going to call Kelly mom or whatever”

“That’s not what I’m asking”

“Dad you don’t understand. My family consists of me and my mom. You are my father but as you decided to get another family, well, I can’t have two families. I can’t wear two shoes with just one foot like you did for a whole year”

“You’re being unfair”

“And you’re being blind”

He shook his head “I get you’re mad at me, and I’m not saying you’re wrong. I would like you to get in my shoes for once though. When you’ll be in love you will understand why I did what I did. When you’ll feel like that person is the only thing that really matters and makes you smile no matter what, the one you want to see every day and night for the rest of your life… then you’ll know”

Those words totally hit me.
If that was the description of being in love, I guess I was then. I stopped thinking about the hundreds of reasons why I would have slapped my dad in the face, and I wondered about his last sentence.
Everything he said was everything I felt about John.
I guess my dad got I wasn’t listening to him anymore, because he asked me if I was ok.

“Yes… can you excuse me a second?” I started to run back into the hotel, looking for John.
When I saw him sitting on the stairs, pretty bored, I felt my heart exploding. As soon as he saw me, instead, he smiled and stood up, walking towards me.
Before he could say something, I kissed him.