Baby, Just Breathe.

Sophia had two personalities. Once, she was the sweetest girl on earth. The other times, I really wanted to lock her in her room for the whole day. It wasn’t that bad to keep an eye on her, because most of the times she just sat and draw or watched cartoons on Disney Channel. But when she started to accuse me cause I didn’t do something she could have done with no problems, like turning off the TV when I didn’t know she was over watching it, I really couldn’t stand her. Sometimes she acted like a princess who wanted everything done for her, others she did everything all alone like a big girl.

The first day gone by and it was kind of ok. When her mom came home, she asked me how it went and I couldn’t really complain. I just hoped Sophia kept her mouth shut about the milk thing.

“See you tomorrow at 10am again then?”

“Totally! Bye Sophia”

“Bye Milky”

I looked at her with a worried face and she stuck her tongue out. She was just playing with me.
I came back home finding my mom at the phone with dad. She asked me if I wanted to talk to him but I denied the kind offer and got immediately upstairs. I didn’t have a good relationship with him after he left my mom for his secretary who is 20 years younger than him, and could be her second daughter.
He was still my dad after all, and I wasn’t angry with him, not anymore. It was his life and he was an adult.
I just hated the fact he pretended to love my mom when he really didn’t, as he was cheating on her since he changed job. They got divorced and now he lives in Nevada, in the shining city of Las Vegas.
Then I thought about Sophia and his dad. I guess her parents were still together if she showed me their room, but then I didn’t ask anything else cause I hate being too much curious. But as I had to spend a lot of time with the kid, I had to know more about her and the family.
I got into my pajamas, definitely not pink as Sophia’s, and I went downstairs again. My mom was cooking pasta, and she was silent. I was sure it was cause of dad.

“Is it everything ok?”

“How was your first day?”

She wasn’t ok: when she changed question without answering mine I knew she didn’t want to talk about her problems. My dad hurt her and I’m sure she was still in love with him, unfortunately.
If love was that painful, I really didn’t want to feel it. I mean, I had a couple of boyfriends, but nothing serious. I have never felt in love with anyone and I hoped it never happened if that meant feel sad every now and then. I wasn’t in search for a guy and I didn’t have expectations.

“It was good. Sophia seems a cool girl. It’s not that bad after all”

“I told you”

“We’ll see what happens”

We ate and we talked about my first day of work. I tried to talk about random things so she could have not thought about dad. Even if we fought a lot and I didn’t always agree with her, she was still my mom after all. We watched a movie together and then I went to sleep. I texted Kate to tell her my day was good and of course I received her ‘I told you’ in reply. I felt asleep immediately. It didn’t look like that, but taking care of a kid was extremely stressing. I had to have a thousand eyes and ears to see and hear where she was and what she was doing. If the kid got hurt, I would have been hurt by her mother and mine as well.

The next morning I was at ‘work’ before the right time. Sophia was still in bed.

“Yesterday night her brother called her and it was late so she went bed at midnight. Damn time zones”

“May I ask where does your son live?”

“Well, he doesn’t really live anywhere else but home. He’s touring with his band and now he is in Europe”

The band should have been famous then. I listened to music but I didn’t know any band member with O’Callaghan as surname.

“Sophia loves her brother and misses him a lot. It’s hard for her being at home without any member of her family for a long time. I’m away for work for a couple of days sometimes, and his dad works in Australia right now. And his brother barely comes home cause of his band. She feels alone. She had other babysitters but lately she didn’t want another one. Fortunately it seems she likes you”

“She’s a nice girl. I like her too”

“I’m glad to hear it. She has a big heart, she needs to live her childhood you know?”

I nodded. I lived mine and I was happy. Sophia was always alone cause of her family’s work and I didn’t want the kid to be sad. I still had to take confidence with both the kid and the job itself, but maybe I could have helped her. She had to help me back, though. I still didn’t like the idea of staying with a kid for the whole day, even if now I wanted to give her my help to feel happy. It was her right to be after all, to smile and run, like every girl of her age. At her age, my parents were still together and apparently in love.

“I have to go now. See you tonight. If you need something just call me, Sophia knows my number by heart”

After Mrs. O’Callaghan went out, I had to wait Sophia to get up. In the meanwhile I watched the TV and got bored after five minutes. I started to walk around the house, looking at every picture frame. There were a couple on the fireplace, on the walls and in all of them the four of them were smiling happy. I thought of the pictures in my house: I had none with both on my parents on the walls. After they got separated my mom decided to take them off. The only one I still had was in my room. In that one we all looked happy, as much as Sophia looked in all the ones I’ve been seeing all around the house. She looked, but she wasn’t.