Some Kind of Magick

Sam was out investigating and interviewing people, leaving Dean and I alone in the motel room. At first, I thought nothing of it. Dean had claimed to not be feeling well and I was going to do more research to give Sam a break from staring at the computer screen. Besides, the teenage girls they had interviewed previously (and needed to interview again) really liked Sam, so Dean insisted his little brother went. We were tackling a new creature that none of us had ever run into before, and I just couldn’t find anything that matched on the internet.

“This is so frustrating,” I groaned to myself. Dean was lying on his back on his bed, resting his upset stomach.

“Tell me about it...” he replied.

“Can I get you anything?” I called out, trying to be considerate. I knew that when I eventually got sick I’d need the brothers to look after me, so I may as well return the favour now.

“Water?”

“Sure.” I stood and walked over to the kitchen area, getting out a glass and filling it with water. I then walked over to Dean’s bed and sat down next to him as he sat up, leaning against the headboard.

“Thanks,” he mumbled as he took the glass off me.

“Are you sure there’s nothing else I can do? You really don’t seem well,” I commented, eager to make him feel better. He appeared really miserable.

“Na, I’m good, thanks,” Dean answered rather unconvincingly, so I stood and left his bedside to get back to hopelessly searching for answers. Hopefully Sam would uncover some new information to help me out. “Well actually... There is something you could do...” I recognised that tone of voice. He was horny. Sick and horny. I rolled my eyes.

“No,” I said abruptly.

“No what? I didn’t even say what I wanted!”

“I can tell by that voice!” I snapped while trying to focus on a new website I had found that might be useful.

“It would make me feel better...” Dean admitted. “We’ve done it before, what’s wrong in doing it again?”

“Because!” I barked, images of both Sam and Castiel flying through my mind. Man my love life was really screwed up right now....

“Hey, at least you know it’s guaranteed to be good,” Dean said cockily before moaning quietly in agony. I turned my head and saw he was lying on the bed clutching his stomach, his eyes closed. He did have a point, but as bad as I felt for him, I wasn’t going to make it better by sleeping with him while Sam was away. My phone started ringing so I picked it up off the table. Sam.

“Hey, how’s it going?” I said once I pressed the talk button.

“Good, actually. I’m just going to pop out of town and head east with the sheriff and a witness. I should be about an hour,” Sam informed me. Great.

“Okay. If you’re not back in an hour and a half, I’m coming looking for you,” I told him before hanging up.

“Let me guess, Sam’s going to be another hour?” Dean piped up and I glared at him. “So, what do ya say?”

“I say no. I’ve really got to stop doing that, Dean. I have no reason to,” I retorted, getting frustrated with his persistence.

“So you’re saying your relationship with Sam is a perfectly happy one?” he inquired.

“I never said that. Now stop pissing me off, would you?” I shouted the last part, trying to get my point across. It worked because Dean shut up, and a few minutes later he was sleeping. Why did men only ever have sex on their mind? Part of me sort of wondered if it was just destiny that was controlling Dean. He could genuinely just want to be with me, but destiny might be making him act differently. Who knows... My world was so screwed up it wasn’t funny.

Sam returned just over an hour later with more information on the case. We still didn’t figure it out, but I think that was because I was distracted with thoughts of Dean. Was it right for me to turn him down? I suddenly felt guilty about it, as if I had really wanted to do it, just didn’t admit it at the time. But the line between destiny and what I really wanted and thought was getting blurred... He was right about me and Sam, too. We were far from perfect. All we did was make each other happy, but sometimes he reminded me of the devil, and I hated that aspect of him. Not to mention, whenever Dean and I had been getting busy, I’d have a peaceful sleep, but if I had been spending time with Sam, I’d always dream of the lake. I hated that lake. The plants were beginning to die now that Death was working. And not to mention, every time I saw it, the blood had moved further across the lake, and the time before my death was running out. It was scary. Just a bigger reason to have a relationship with Castiel. Cas! The thought of him and the spell he had recently put on me made me want to go to sleep so I could see him. I needed to try and save myself, and Castiel was my method of doing so.

That night, I got into bed super quickly, practically ignoring Sam the whole time. I thought of Castiel as I laid in bed, hoping that would help me avoid the lake dream. Everything about that lake dream scared me now, since Lucifer could reach me through it and seemingly take control of me and make me think unwanted thoughts. I also dreaded seeing the progress the Horseman Death had recently made in his killing spree. Please Cas, let me dream of you tonight... I continued to think of the angel as I got sleepier, picturing his host body’s face, since I obviously didn’t know what Castiel actually looked like. Eventually, I fell asleep, finding myself in a dream of a beautiful deserted sunny beach, a cute purple and white striped bikini covering me. I closed my eyes and leaned back in the warm sand, feeling it relax my skin. Now this was a day off I needed...

“Nichole?” My eyes flicked open and I saw Castiel, wearing his trench coat and black suit on the beach in this hot weather, staring down at me. “I sensed you were dreaming. I came to see you.”

“You’re not joining me unless you change,” I stated, sitting up again.

“Excuse me?”

“It’s just not ethical to wear a suit and a coat on a beach. Now change it to something like board shorts, like every other male would,” I told the naive angel who frowned, but obeyed and after a little white flash, he was wearing a pair of plain black board shorts, a small grey pattern on the side of the left leg.

“Is this better?” he questioned as I stared at his chest. Much better... But that was just Castiel’s host body’s torso, not his real one, so I looked back up at his eyes.

“It is. Wanna go in the water?”

“I’ve never been before...” Cas mumbled shyly and I leapt up, grabbing his left hand before I started jogging down the beach, the soft wind blowing my hair across my face slightly.

“Hurry up, slowpoke!” I giggled as we ran together, the movement difficult because of the soft sand. I looked back at the angel and saw a wide grin spread across his face; he was obviously enjoying himself already. As far as I knew, he never did anything to relax or to have fun, so this small activity was going to be a blast for him. Finally, my feet collided with the salty water, and I dragged Castiel out until the water was at mid-thigh for me, a tad lower for him since he was a smidgen taller than me.

“This feels... great...” Castiel told me as he stared down at the water. “I never knew water could be so comforting.”

“I can make it more fun,” I said in a suggestive but playful tone. Cas met my eyes, eager to know what I could possibly do. I plunged my hands into the water and shoved water at him, splashing him in his face and across his chest in one go. He blinked a few times, shocked and unsure of what to do, which only made me giggle at him. And then he took me by surprise. With a little laugh, the angel splashed me back. He was learning my weird human ways. We had a little play fight in the water, trying to move away from each other as we got wetter. Castiel ended it by suddenly springing on me and bringing me down underneath the water for a moment. We broke the surface together, Castiel holding me securely as I gripped onto his arms for support as I gasped for air, chuckling along with his joyful laughter. Seeing him enjoying himself like this and laughing and just... being so laid back... It was a different side to the angel, and I liked it.

“I’m sorry... I don’t know where that came from,” he told me, a smile still gracing his lips. “I really enjoyed that.” His roughed up hair that always had the wind-blown look was now wet and flattened, but he still looked handsome.

“Me too...” I whispered, relaxing my tight grip on his biceps. My eyes looked down at Castiel’s body before glancing back up at his blue orbs, only to see he was now looking down at my body. I felt myself blush slightly, though I don’t know why. I wasn’t the shy type when it came to men, unless I really liked them... And I didn’t like Cas like that... Did I? My thoughts were interrupted by Cas kissing me gently. His sweetness took over me and I moved so I was standing straight, only a tiny gap between our bodies. I wasn’t too sure how he’d react if our skin came in contact like that. Of course, I kissed Castiel back, moving one hand up to rest on the side of his neck while the other played gently with the bottom of his hair. Cas kept his arms around me, clearly comfortable with where they were. After one last peck, I pulled away from him slightly and grinned, feeling happiness fill me.

“I really like being around you and doing this. You make rebelling worth it,” Castiel told me sweetly before kissing me softly. After our lips parted, I pulled him into a tight hug, just wanting to feel him in my arms again. Once I was satisfied that this was actually a real interaction between me and the angel and not simply a dream, I let go of him and walked back up onto the beach with him, sitting back down on the warm sand. “Can I ask you something?” I glanced over at the angel to see him squinting out at the water.

“Of course. Shoot.”

“Shoot what?” the angel asked, clearly confused. I stifled a giggle at his cluelessness.

“In that context, it means ask me your question,” I clarified and Cas nodded to show he understood.

“Do you not feel bad for Sam? Are you not being unfaithful to him by doing this?” Castiel looked over at me and I felt my heart sink. There goes my joy... My eyes scanned the tiny grains of sand as I pondered my answer, sighing when I couldn’t seem to word it right. I was in such a difficult position right now...

“It’s really hard to explain, Cas...” I started, still trying to piece the words together in my head. “Of course I feel bad about it, but... Part of me believes that the feelings I have for Sam aren’t real, that it’s just destiny, Lucifer’s way of winning me over, you know? But you... You’re not part of my destiny. I feel like I can trust what I’m feeling for you.”

“And what do you feel for me?” Castiel asked, making my eyes look up at him. His face was almost the usual expressionless face he wore, but I could detect some emotion. Somehow, I could sense he was nervous about my answer, yet still content that he was in my presence. His eyes seemed to bore into me, so I looked back down at the sand.

“I can’t describe it...” I whispered, sort of scared to tell him the truth. Reality was that I was sitting on the fence with him. I didn’t know whether or not I actually liked him a lot, or if I was just trying too hard to save myself from dying in a few months. There was no way to deny the small butterflies I occasionally got when thinking about him, or the happiness he gave me. But was I imagining that just because of what Gabriel had told me? Life was so confusing... I hated it.

“Do you get this funny feeling in your stomach area when you think of me?” Castiel questioned cautiously and I smiled.

“Yeah...”

“And do you love it when we kiss?” he continued and my smile got larger.

“Yes...”

“And do you think about me all day long, and always get distracted because you’re too busy thinking of ways to try to make me happy, even if you’re not too sure how to do that because you’ve never been in a relationship or felt emotions before?” Castiel blurted and I chuckled.

“I don’t think you’re talking about me anymore, hon,” I said and a relaxed smile spread across his face.

“No... I’m sorry, I’m new at this, you know that,” he explained timidly.

“Don’t worry, Castiel. I’m willing to teach you everything about love,” I whispered before leaning over and giving him a tiny kiss on his soft lips.

“Everything?” Cas questioned quietly.

“Everything.”