Some Kind of Magick

Three hours later, I was still wide awake. Sam was determined to make sure I was okay, so he stayed awake too, but I could tell he was insanely tired. He just didn’t want me that scared. It was hard for me to show my fear, since being a hunter really hardens you up and it seems impossible to be afraid of anything, but hell, I was terrified. I can’t explain what it’s like to lose control of your body, to have someone else speaking from within you to the freakin’ devil. This was just all too much for me at the moment. I was just so overwhelmed.

“Sam, go to sleep, it’s okay,” I whispered and Sam moved his hand up and down the top of my arm, showing me he was there for me. I was glad he was supporting me. He was a good boyfriend, even if I wasn’t necessarily that faithful...

“You’re not okay, though,” was his short reply in his drowsy voice. “Maybe I should get Cas to knock you out into a calm sleep.” Oh, Castiel...

“That could work...” I mumbled. Sam then reached over and picked up his cell, dialling the angel straight away. I still found it strange that we had to use a cell phone to contact an angel, but whatever it took...

“Hey Cas... I really need you to come to the Starry Night Motel in Oklahoma... Yeah... It’s urgent. It’s Nichole,” I heard Sam saying quietly into his phone. I bet the mention of me would get the angel’s attention. “Room three.” After Sam had spoke, there was a flutter of wings and I turned my head to the right to see Castiel standing a few strides away from the bed.

“Nichole, what’s wrong?” the angel demanded, walking to close the distance between us.

“She can’t sleep,” Sam butted in, reminding Cas that he was still there. He seemed slightly annoyed, probably because Castiel’s concern for me was really obvious, but I ignored it. “Can you put her to sleep?”

“A peaceful one, please. One without Lucifer or the lake,” I informed Cas as Sam held me closer, seemingly protective about me because Cas had appeared, but I don’t know why. It wasn’t obvious that Castiel was interested in me romantically, just that he cared. Sam should have nothing to worry about. I guess it was instinct. “And can you please put Sam to sleep too. He’s really been too kind and stayed up with me.”

“It’s fine,” Sam whispered, but Castiel leaned over and placed his two fingers on Sam’s forehead, and a split second after, Sam’s head lolled onto my shoulder. Then, his arm fell off my shoulder and slipped down my back, sending a little shiver down my spine. I hoped Cas hadn’t seen it...

“I need to ask you something,” Cas suddenly said and I glanced up at him before looking back down at Sam since his weight was on me.

“What about?” I asked as I moved Sam off me, helping him into the bed a bit better so he would be a bit more comfortable. I noticed Castiel was giving me disapproving looks, but it’s not like I could do anything about it, really.

“Did you want to... in your sleep tonight?” I stopped moving the blankets over Sam and turned my head to look up at the angel, only to find he had moved to sit on the edge of the bed now.

“Do you mean... spend time with you?” I questioned, not too sure what exactly he was asking me, considering he had missed out the middle part of his sentence that happened to be the most important part. Castiel sighed softly and leaned forward, resting his chin on his clasped together hands, his elbows digging into his knees. His eyes stared out ahead at nothing, probably lost in thought. I had a side view of him, and it was picture-worthy. He looked so handsome.

“I have to admit... I’m... not comfortable with you and Sam,” Cas said gruffly, his eyes looking down at the ground as a painful expression crossed his face.

“How do you mean?”

“I... I can’t stand watching you two be together like that!” he exclaimed, raising his voice as he threw his arm in the direction of where I was sitting. So he didn’t like my boyfriend having his arm around me? It’s not like I could change that. If my plan was to work, I had to go along with destiny, in terms of Sam and Dean. And the Sam part was not hard to do at all.

“Cas, calm down,” I said softly and he frowned. “I know you’re jealous, but that’s normal. Please don’t get that angry about it.” The angel paused, then met my eyes.

“You wanted to sleep?” he asked, raising his hand in the direction of my forehead.

“Yes, but I want you there, okay?” Castiel nodded in response, then put his fingers on my forehead once I had laid down comfortably. I felt the sleep come over me, then I opened my eyes to see I was standing at a rest area in the middle of what looked like a forest, possibly a conservation park. The bold green was everywhere, with the exception of brown bark occasionally, and the sky was a light blue, a few light fluffs of cloud here and there.

“I am sorry about before,” Castiel’s voice said from behind me and I spun around to face him. He was sitting on the table part of a park bench and table the same way he had just been sitting on my bed, with his feet on the seat. “I’m not used to these emotions yet.” I walked over to him and sat next to him on the table, glad that the lake or Lucifer were nowhere to be seen. I could relax and not be scared out of my mind. For that, I really owed Castiel.

“It’s okay. I understand it’s difficult. But you really have to control yourself around the Winchesters so they don’t figure out what we’re up to,” I told him as he gazed out at a bird that was preening itself in a tree in front of us. I waited for him to speak, but when he didn’t, I continued. “If anything, you shouldn’t be jealous.”

“Why is that?”

“We’ve been over this. Sam is destiny and it doesn’t feel real sometimes... But with you, I know what we have is real,” I explained as the bird flew away, disappearing behind other trees. That made Castiel look at me, seemingly staring right into my soul again.

“So what can you teach me about love today?” he asked. His voice, for once, sounded casual rather than flat and emotionless.

“What would you like to learn?”

“I actually was thinking lately about kissing, and wondering why that was an act of love,” Cas replied as he took my hand in his, running the side of his thumb across my fingers. “And, why simple things like holding your hand make me feel so... content...”

“Awww, you’re sweet,” I commented and Cas looked up from our hands to meet my eyes.

“Sweet? Why?” the angel asked, intrigued by my remark. “How does that make you feel?”

“It makes me feel... special, and loved by you. It’s like you’ve given me a compliment, but it’s better than that, because it shows you care, Cas,” I tried to explain, not too sure if I was conveying the right idea to him. “And, with kissing... It’s just what us humans do. It too makes you feel special and loved, doesn’t it?”

“I think it does... It’s hard for me to put a name on what I feel, because I don’t know,” the angel said I nodded.

“Well, the sensation that you get emotionally when we kiss... That’s a mixture of love and passion and care and joy and... and so much more good, happy emotions,” I continued. We both fell silent for a moment and I watched Castiel process what I had told him.

“There’s something else, too,” he said, looking at me for permission to continue and pose his question. I nodded slightly, urging him on. “I saw a couple before... I was just wondering why they were seated the way they were. It seemed like it might be uncomfortable, and even unnecessary.”

“How were they sitting?” I asked, eager to see what image he had in his head.

“Oh... Um... W- Well, the male was j- just like how I am now,” Castiel stuttered nervously. He paused and looked at me, seemingly slightly worried. “And the female was... sitting on the male...” The angel was struggling to find the words and trying to describe it was appearing to be a difficult task, so I pushed myself off the table. Balancing on the seat, I turned around and placed my left knee on the table next to Castiel’s hips, then swung my other leg over his lap and onto the table so I was sitting on him. My hands rested on his shoulders and our faces were so close together again. Cas gulped as he looked at my chest, then looked up, his eyes widened significantly.

“Is this how they were?” I asked, darn well knowing that it was. Cas nodded nervously. I guess he knew there was a sexual element to this... How was I going to enlighten him about this? “Well... Uh... Girls usually sit on their partner like this when they’re getting sexual together...” I paused, not too sure how to continue.

“So that’s why her legs are open and on... there?” Castiel questioned, still tense.

“Yeah... You can actually do it like this, too,” I told him, finding myself get shy too.

“Oh... Well, thank you for informing me,” he said and an awkward silence came over us. I think he was waiting for me to move, but no way was I moving. It was kind of entertaining to watch him silently distress a little because he was in an unfamiliar position. He was always so naive, but I guess I was slowly changing that... My eyes came to rest on his lips, a huge part of me wanting to feel them against my own, to taste the angel again. I closed the gap between us, embracing Castiel in a gentle kiss and feeling his warmth wash over me. Castiel moved his right hand up to my neck, pulling me in for another kiss as his other hand stayed back behind him, keeping himself balanced. My arms moved forward, going behind his neck and my wrists rested together, one on top of the other. We kissed like this for a while, but I wanted something more from him this time. I pulled away slightly after a sweet kiss, giving me time to talk.

“Open your mouth,” I stated before going back in to kiss him. Luckily, I had my eyes open and I saw a puzzled Cas open his mouth way too much. I quickly stopped him as I giggled. “Not that much, silly. Just a little so we can still kiss. Just... go with the flow.” Cas furrowed his brow as he leaned in to kiss me again. We shared a closed-lips kiss before I tried to open my mouth slightly. The angel followed suit and I slipped my tongue into his mouth. Castiel seemed to pick up the tongue dancing concept quickly, and as we continued kissing I realised that I had become more attracted to him, otherwise I wouldn’t be doing this with him. This was no longer me trying to fight destiny... I wanted Castiel. With my conclusion, I slowed down my motions and eventually stopped, the truth sinking in.

“Am I doing this right?” he asked after pulling away from me. I guess he thought I had stopped because of him, but I hadn’t.

“You are doing really well,” I reassured him with a smile, causing him to smile too.

“I want more of you...” Cas whispered huskily before pressing his lips on mine again, shortly after deepening the kiss. I think he had found a new favourite activity... As we made out, I moved my hands back onto his shoulders and applied some pressure.

“Lie down...” I whispered as I pulled away for a second, attaching my lips to him as soon as the two words had escaped my lips. Slowly, while still kissing me, Castiel leaned backwards, eventually lying us down on the table. His hand that was on my neck had moved down to my waist in our descent, and the other one was now tangled in my hair. One of my hands rested in his hair too, the other on his neck, loving the moment. It was so quixotic; we were in a deserted pine forest, the birds were singing quietly and beautifully, and I was teaching Cas about romance. He made me feel so beautiful and loved. I could only hope that I returned the favour and made him so happy too. The hand on my waist gripped on a little tighter, and I rubbed my hips down onto him, a little moan escaping from me. Castiel suddenly stopped and pulled away from me.

“Nichole... I am really happy and enjoying this, but I have to go. Heaven’s orders,” the angel stated hurriedly and I felt sadness fall over me as I frowned. I really didn’t want him to go.

“Please don’t go,” I whispered as Castiel sat us up, embracing me in a comforting hug.

“I truly am sorry...” he murmured before moving back to face me. He kissed me, and when I reopened my eyes afterwards, Cas had disappeared. My heart sunk into my stomach with loneliness as I looked down at the table that had once held Castiel.

“Come back, Cas... Please... I need you...”