Some Kind of Magick

“The usual?” Dean asked as he turned off the Impala’s engine. Sam and I both replied with a ‘yeah’ before Dean exited the car and walked into the diner to get takeaway burgers. As soon as Dean was strolling across the quiet road, Sam turned around in the passenger seat to look at me. His eyes seemed sad, and I suddenly felt bad for practically ignoring him the whole car trip. Things just seemed slightly awkward to me, even though deep down inside I had a huge urge to be close to him.

“I know you’ll probably say no, but did you wanna eat with just me? Get away from Dean for a bit?” he asked genuinely. “Maybe we’ll sort things out?”

“Sure,” I replied as I stared at his stunning facial features. Damn he was handsome... Once Dean had returned with our food, Sam and I found a nice secluded park bench to sit on as we ate our favourite hamburgers together, making casual talk in between mouthfuls. There was no way to deny that funny feeling that floated around in my stomach and made my heart skip beats. I knew it was fulfilling destiny and encouraging my death, but how do you change destiny? Until I had a solution, I guess I had to live life to the fullest, and that would mean having a relationship with Sam. I couldn’t deny the fact that I liked him, and that I liked him a lot. Sam was asking questions that sort of involved destiny and us being together, seeming sort of shy, perhaps as if he was hiding something from me. I got suspicious, and as he tried to ask me the same question again, but slightly reworded, I interrupted him.

“Damn it, Sam, just ask me whatever you want to ask me already!” I growled. Sam’s eyes widened with surprise and then he took in a deep breath.

“Fine... Did you still want to try to have a relationship with me, even though that’s certainly going to lead to your death?” he questioned cautiously and I froze. Did I really want to do that? There was a huge risk in doing so. And, not to mention, lately Sam had opened up to me about his girlfriend Jess who had got killed by a demon, and it seemed like he still felt strongly for her.

“But... How do you feel about Jess?” I questioned.

“You know, after all these years, I think I’ve finally accepted the fact that she’s not coming back. I need to move on from her,” he answered, passion filling his voice. “I really want to try to move forward with you, even if you don’t want to commit.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” I told him.

“It does in my head! Stupid destiny...” Sam grumbled as he shook his head. “I just can’t explain how I feel for you.” Why did this always have to come back to destiny? I hated feeling like I didn’t have any control over anything, especially my own love life! I had avoided romantic relationships for the majority of my life, and now that I had a chance to have one, I felt like it wasn’t even true, that it was just destiny and not me actually liking Sam a lot. I didn’t know what to believe.

“I hate this situation...” I moaned with frustration as I put my head in my hands.

“I guess we should get moving again,” Sam finally said after a few moments of silence had passed. He pushed up off the seat to stand up, but I touched his hand and he sat back down, his gorgeous eyes intrigued as to why I was holding him back.

“You know what, I don’t care about my destiny, Sam. You make me feel so unlike anything I’ve ever felt for a man before. I can’t just ignore that feeling!” I explained, trying to harness my feelings for him and put them into understandable words.

“I know what you mean,” Sam breathed with relief, a smile spreading across his lips, the lips I longed to have against mine again... I couldn’t resist. I quickly leaned forwards while tilting my head and kissed him. His lips fitted perfectly on mine and Sam kissed me back a few times before we pulled out slowly, staring into each other’s eyes.

“Screw destiny. I don’t care,” I told Sam, causing him to smile even more. It was then that I realised my hand was still on his, so I moved my hand under his and then laced my fingers into his before we stood up together and walked back to the Impala. Dean was leaning against it casually and didn’t react to me holding hands with his younger brother, thankfully. There was no way in hell that Sam could ever find out what happened that night with Dean and I... We got back in the car and continued driving to a town that was another hour’s drive away where we were going to be investigating a haunting. Dean was playing his old rock songs and Sam hated it, which I noticed was a usual occurrence between the two. I didn’t mind, considering my cars never had a working music player, and besides, it was fun to annoy Sam. He was cute when he got wound up for fun. We were only a few more miles away from the town when my phone rang.

“Where are you?” Castiel’s voice demanded urgently as soon as I had answered. I gave him the name on the next sign we passed, and seconds later I heard a loud flutter of feathers sounding from the seat next to me. I turned to see Castiel sitting there, taking me by surprise.

“What is it Cas?” I asked as I shut my cell phone.

“I need to talk to Nichole now,” Castiel explained as Sam turned around to see what was going on. I opened my mouth to rebut and tell Cas no, this was inappropriate, but before I could say something, I realised I had already been transported away out of the car and to a never ending field filled with knee-high lush vibrant green grass. Castiel was standing a metre in front of me, staring down at the ground.

“Castiel, what do you want?” I asked, clearly irritated that he had just practically kidnapped me.

“Did you fornicate with Dean?” Castiel suddenly asked, looking up at me with what seemed like a sad look on his face. He did not just ask me that...

“Uh... That’s none of your business,” I somehow managed to reply, shocked by how upfront he was.

“It is,” Castiel stated as my heart sunk from the upset tone of voice. How could he sound so heartbroken? He was an angel, he couldn’t feel emotions, yet to me he really seemed legitimately emotionally hurt.

“I don’t see how it is,” I retorted and Cas glanced away from me for a moment, probably collecting his thoughts.

“It’s crucial that I know, in regards to the Apocalypse. Please, tell me,” he replied, but I didn’t buy it. I lied as my job; I could easily tell when other people were lying, and I knew this angel wasn’t telling me the truth.

“Fine. I’m developing a relationship with both of the brothers, just like it’s meant to go,” I answered, not too keen on giving Castiel a straight answer in case he went and told Sam. The angel’s face fell, as if he was disappointed in me. “What? It’s not like I can change destiny, is it? Especially on such a huge scale like the freakin’ Apocalypse!”

“You have a point,” was all Cas said in response. I just sighed as I rolled my eyes, looking around the field. I no longer wanted to be here with him anymore. But how was I supposed to get out of here, wherever I was?

“Castiel?”

“Yes?” he replied as we locked eyes and I felt like he was drilling right through my soul.

“Can I ask you to be completely honest with me? Just for one moment?”

“Of course.”

“Why do you care?” I questioned, my voice sounding a lot harsher than I had wanted it to. Cas opened his mouth to reply, then closed it, then reopened his mouth.

“I- I don’t know... I think... I think I might be feeling...” he stuttered, confusion spreading across his face rapidly.

“How do you mean?” I asked, stepping closer to him. Naturally, I felt the need to comfort him, even if he was an angel. Cas was a friend of mine, and the Winchesters, so I was going to be there for him to give support.

“Angels can’t feel emotions... but... I think I’m beginning to...” Castiel continued, his bewilderment evident.

“What are you feeling?”

“I don’t know! I’m so confused,” Castiel replied, seeming like he was almost in tears.

“Come here,” I whispered as I closed the gap between us in one step, my arms taking him into me in a warm friendly embrace in an attempt to calm him. This hug felt a lot less awkward than any previous time I had touched the angel, and Cas even put his arms around me, feeling more comfortable. “Explain to me what you feel like you want to do.” I did my best to keep my voice soft and encouraging, knowing it would help him.

“I... I feel like I want to hurt Dean,” Castiel admitted quietly. “I think it’s because he shared that passionate love making moment with you... Didn’t he?” Well... passionate love making? Not quite...

“Yeah... I was pretty tipsy, though,” I answered as the angel snuggled his head into my shoulder.

“And... I think I feel... I don’t know how to say it...”

“Try,” I urged gently, eager to know what else he was feeling. This all seemed to revolve around me, although I don’t know why. It’s not like I was the first female human he had been in contact with.

“I think I want to... be Sam, I guess... I’m really not too sure,” he continued and I frowned. Why on earth would anyone want to be the devil’s vessel?

“Why?”

“Aren’t you two dating?” Castiel asked, his voice sounding rough and angry.

“Sort of...” I replied as I pondered what was going on. I pulled out of our hug and looked the angel right in his miserable eyes. “Castiel... I think you’re feeling jealous about the brothers because you have a crush on me.”

“A- A crush?” he stuttered, still puzzled about this whole issue.

“Yeah... Don’t worry about it for now, okay? I think the reason why an angel is suddenly feeling emotions is more of an issue than what he’s actually feeling,” I told him and he nodded.

“You’re right. This shouldn’t be happening. We need to find out why it is,” Castiel stated, seemingly dismissing his emotions and becoming serious again. “Um, thank you, Nichole.” It was so cute that he could hardly thank me. He was so awkward and uncertain of how to show his appreciation.

“That’s okay,” I said, realising I no longer cared that he had rudely pulled me away from the Winchesters. Somehow, Castiel had put me at peace on the inside.

“Can I, uh, have another... hug?” Cas managed to say, his eyebrows raised as if he was unsure if that was appropriate.

“Of course,” I replied before giving him another friendly hug. After a few seconds, my arms felt empty, and when I opened my eyes I noticed that I had reappeared in the back of the Impala. I was going to have to teach Cas how to say goodbye...

“What was that all about?” Dean snapped, the first to realise I had returned.

“Angel problems,” I replied, not wanting to tell either brother what Castiel’s real issue was. “Don’t worry about it.” Both brothers seemed to dismiss the situation quickly, as if Castiel usually behaved oddly, and the conversation was soon turned on to the topic of the haunting we were going to solve. The brothers taught me the tricks about dealing with angry spirits and as soon as we arrived in the town we easily hunted the spirit down. The spirit was about to hurt another human, but luckily we stopped it in time. It was the teamwork of us three that made us successful to salt and burn the remains and able to save the human life. Once again, Ellen had proven me right, and I couldn’t be happier that she had convinced me to become part of a team, otherwise I’d probably be dead by now.

Later that night, Dean was taking a quick shower while Sam and I jumped into bed early, eager to get some rest. We had both stripped off to only our underwear, sneaking peeks at each other’s body as we did so, and now we were both getting in the bed at opposite sides. Sam moved so he was lying nearly in the middle of the bed, his arm stretched out for me to lie down on. I gladly got comfortable next to him, wrapping my arm casually around his chest as his own moved to hold onto my shoulder.

“I’m glad we don’t care about the whole destiny thing,” Sam murmured as he shifted his head to get a bit more comfortable.

“Me too...” I mumbled into his chest. I liked Sam far too much to just ignore those feelings. Sam’s other hand was soon under my chin, his fingers gently moving my head up so he could kiss me sweetly. After a few gentle kisses, Sam’s hand moved down my neck and his lips began pushing harder against mine. My own hand started instinctively moving on his torso, tracing light patterns with my fingertips. Sam propped himself up on his elbow, gaining leverage over me as our kiss deepened. I could feel his hand slowly moving down from my neck and moving onto my chest and my breath was speeding up.

“Oi! None of that when I’m here!” Dean’s voice came from behind us. From shock, Sam and I broke apart and I turned around to see Dean in only his underwear walking over to his bed, a towel in his hand. I really should have kept one ear focused on the sound of the shower... I rolled back over to see Sam blushing slightly and I got comfortably cuddled up to him again. After Dean had finished mucking about by his bed, my eyelids felt really heavy and I took in a deep breath, slipping into sleep as I let it out.

Once again, I found myself sitting by the lake. The one serene place that I used to love was now something horrid. To the left, the blood was still pooling into the water. I felt sick at the sight. That was Lucifer’s work. He was out there, killing people, and one day soon I’d meet him, and he’d probably be in Sam’s body. This was so insane... I had always thought I was so insignificant. Who would have ever guessed that I was this important?