Different Stars

“I’m not sure what it says about my intelligence, but I can’t think of anything to say to you right now except, you’re a douche.” Ben told Mike loudly. Cadence looked over at Ben and Mike as they argued.

“Aww…is little Benny mad?” She teased and he threw a drumstick at her. She ducked it easily. She was used to avoiding his drumstick missiles by now.

“Ben, I didn’t know you hadn’t told anyone yet.” Mike was earnest. Cadence could hear it in his voice. “It’s a baby. That’s exciting! And I have A.D.D.”

Ben smiled softly to himself, then looked at Jane with utter adoration, and Cadence somehow felt like she was intruding on something private. That smile held joy and promise and wasn’t something she felt like she deserved to see.

“I know, Mikey. Jane is really the one you have to apologize to. Her parents called her and were pissed that we hadn’t told them yet.” Ben’s girlfriend, Jane, squirmed in her seat next to him. She didn’t like being the center of attention.

Mike being the drama king that he is, got to his knees in front of her and bowed his head slightly. “I’m sorry, Jane. Will you please forgive me? I’ll babysit for free.”

She laughed. “It’s ok. After they were mad, they got over it. They’ve wanted a grandbaby for years now.”

“He’s going to be the band mascot. Can we put on him the next cd?” Mike asked enthusiastically, demonstrating his aforementioned A.D.D.

“He or she.” Jane corrected.

“And we’re not leaving the baby with you.” Ben told him with a look of disbelief.

“It then?” Mike offered and Ben punched him lightly.

“You cannot call a baby “it”. That’s not right.” Aiden said, his Irish accent showing, making his words sound exotic. “I like Muffin. Muffin until we know differently.”

“No, we are not calling our baby muffin!” Ben said.

“I kinda like it.” Jane said and nodded a little. “Muffin.” She repeated to herself. “Yup, it’s Muffin.”

“Don’t they eat crumpets, not muffins where you come from?” Mike asked, causing Aiden to shoot him an obscene hand gesture.

“Muffin isn’t very masculine. What if he’s a dude?” Cadence finally piped up.

This caused all of them to pause and look thoughtful.

Jane shook her head, “I still like Muffin.” She patted her tummy. “It just seems right. Like a bun in the oven, but it’s a muffin. They are much more delicious after all. He can be a manly muffin.”

“A stud muffin?” Cadence suggested then laughed at her own joke. Everyone except Ben laughed; he just rolled his eyes.

“Ohh…how about M and M. Or double M? or just Mmmmm….” Mike said. The four of them looked at him as if he was slightly crazy.

“No.” Ben said, raising his eyebrows.

“So Muffin then?” Cadence asked ignoring the two men.

“You are not allowed to shorten to it Muff.” Ben said, before Mike could ask. He heard Mike give a slightly irritated sound.

“Muffy?” Mike offered.

“I’m letting you call my unborn child Muffin. You are not allowed to shorten it or nickname it. Muffin, and that’s it.” Ben said then looked seriously at Mike. “Muffin.” He enunciated slowly.

“I’m not stupid. I understand.” Mike said, then paused. He cocked his head and looked at Jane. “Blueberry Muffin?”

Ben didn’t think about it, he just tackled him to the floor.
-----

Cadence was happy for Ben and Jane. She loved them deeply and couldn’t wait to be an aunt, but all this left her feeling sad. Cadence couldn’t shake her feelings, which made her feel worse. She didn’t think that she even really wanted kids, but seeing Ben and Jane left something inside of her feeling hollow and empty. Her mind automatically went to Sidney. She closed her eyes and pictured him. His brown eyes crinkled at the edges as he smiled, and as cheesy as it was, she loved to make him smile. That image filled her with even more sadness and she let out a huge huff. For what seemed like the tenth time, she looked at her phone willing it to ring and be Sidney. Rationally she knew he was busy. He’d had a game and always got stuck doing interviews, but she wanted to hear to his voice and feel his strangely comforting company.

Ever since they’d seen each other in Dallas, they’d been talking everyday. It was a strange feeling to be so close to someone that she literally had only met a handful of times. But that was how their relationship was. Maybe not being face to face made it easier to share her innermost thoughts, but she told Sidney almost everything about her. So, given her present funk, he was who she wanted to talk to. Unfortunately, he was busy. Sighing yet again, she got out of bed and walked over to the window. When she was depressed like this, writing usually helped. She grabbed her notebook and wrote,

“They say that home is where the heart is
I guess I haven’t found my home
And we keep driving round in circles
Afraid to call this place our home
And are we there yet?

They say there’s linings made of silver
Folded inside each rainy cloud
Will we need someone to deliver
Our silver lining now?
And are we there yet?
Home, Home, Home

They say you’re really not somebody
Until somebody else loves you
Well I am waiting to make somebody,
Somebody soon

And are we there yet?
Home, Home, Home ”

Writing usually shook her melancholy. She looked down at what she’d written. She didn’t know if it would become a song. She never let her own person poems become songs because she hated to share that much of herself with the public. But it was true. She was ready to make somebody somebody soon. The problem was, he was a famous hockey player who was fanatically private about his personal life. They’d never be able to keep their relationship quiet, so it would never work out. Not to mention, giving that much of herself to someone wasn’t something she’d ever done before. Was all her frustration and longing because of her lack of love? She didn’t know, but she knew that she desperately wanted to have Sidney in her life. Friends or otherwise. She’d settle for what she could get. That thought sent her into another funk and she furiously flipped the page in her notebook to try and work this new emotion from her system.

Thirty minutes later, and she was still working. While trying to get rid of her angst, she’d flipped back to her original poem. Already she could hear a melody in her head, but she knew it would never be recorded. Aside from the fact that it was too personal, it was a slow melodic song, not rock and roll. She was slowly grinding out the tune on her guitar; picking her way through the notes she wanted, when her phone rand. She looked down at and saw Sidney’s name. Perversely, she wanted to hit ignore when only minutes ago she’d wanted to talk to him. She let it ring three times before impulsively accepting.

“Hello.” She said hesitantly.

“Hey, Cadee. It’s Sidney.”

“How are you?” She asked, trying to hide her sadness.

“Did I wake you up? I know it’s late, but I just wanted to talk to you. We had a horrible game and for some reason hearing your voice helps me.” Sidney confessed.

For a moment, she didn’t know how to respond. His confession thrilled her. “I was awake. I saw the game, and it wasn’t that bad. You’re way too hard on yourself.”

He made a noise that Cadence knew meant he disagreed. “You sound sad.”

“I’m not really…sad.” Cadence took a moment and he waited patiently for her to gather her thoughts. “Ben’s girlfriend, Jane, is pregnant. And I’m happy for them, don’t get me wrong, but for some reason it made me…I dunno if sad is the right word or not.”

“Sad? As in, you’re upset the band will change?”

“No. More like he seems so happy and he’s going to be a dad. I love Jane. Having a girl with me on tour is pretty kick ass. I never thought I wanted kids, but I think I’m jealous.”

“You’re going to be too good of a mom not to have kids, Cadee.” Sidney smiled as he thought about it. “It’ll happen for you. You’re young. And kids need to be brought into relationships that are ready and strong enough to be able to handle that.”

Cadence smiled. “Do you always know the perfect thing to say?”

“No. Why do you think I pause for such a long time before answering reporters?” He joked.

“It makes you look highly intelligent?” She knew it would make him laugh and it did. “But it’s exactly what I needed to hear.”

“That’s what friends are for. It’s true though.”

“Well then, Sidney, I’m a bad friend because you called all sad, and you cheered me up. So, how can I cheer you up? Want me to send you a naked picture?”

He barked out a laugh. “I don’t think you’re really offering. Besides knowing you, you’d send me a picture of Mike or something equally unappealing.”

He knew her too well. “True, true.”

“I do need a picture of you though.” Sidney said after a pause.

“Why?” Cadence was curious. “There are usually some in magazines.”

After a lengthy silence, Cadence thought he’d hung up on her. “Sidney?”

“A magazine?” He asked in a clipped tone. Cadence could tell he was upset.

“I was kidding, Sid.” She had been joking and she’d hurt him. “I didn’t mean anything by it.” She felt panic start to rise. The last she’d want to do was hurt him.

“Cadee, I thought…” He sighed into the phone. Cadence could picture him rub his hand over his face like he did when he was tired or frustrated.

“What did you think?” She held her breath, having no idea what he was thinking now, terrified and thrilled at the same time.

“I just thought that we were different than that. I thought we were friends…maybe more. I thought that I at least deserved a real picture of you, not some clipping from a tabloid. I guess I don’t know what I thought.”

“You do. I want a picture of you too. Of us, really…I agree that I want to be more than friends.” She said in a flood of words. Again silence greeted her. After a few seconds she made an impatient noise.

He chuckled. “I heard you. I was trying to think of what to say.”

“Now that I know you’re secret, I won’t be able to watch an interview of you without laughing. You and your dramatic lengthy pauses. It’s kinda cute to find out that you actually need them.”

“I really only need them for you. The reporters ask the same stupid questions. This isn’t a conversation we should have over the phone.”

“Again, true.”

“When can I see you again?” He couldn’t hide the eagerness and it thrilled Cadence to hear.

“Next week we have a few days off. I was going to go see my sister, but I can cancel that.”

“No, you told me that you never see your family anymore. I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking. I’m volunteering. Besides, my sister will be thrilled that there is even a prospect of a man in my life.”
--

“You look awfully happy today, Cadee. So you’re seein’ him then?” Aiden asked while they were sitting around the bus the next day. A few more hours and they’d be in Los Angeles, which was their destination.

“Yes, and don’t go all protective big brother on me.” Cadence narrowed her eyes and looked at him.

“Cadee, I’m not. I just worry about you. Can you blame me?” Aiden played with the label on his water bottle. “Everyone wants a piece of us. A piece of this band, our fame. I know you think I’m overreacting, but you need to be careful.”

“I know. I am being careful.”

“Is this the sex talk? Because I can come back later.” Mike said then contradicted that statement when he plopped himself down next to Cadence.

“You mean you could learn a few things more like.” Aiden told him with a snort.

“Nah. I know to wrap it up. It’s called a condom.” Mike said with a lecherous grin.

Both Aiden and Cadence gave him looks of disgust.

“Gross.” Cadence added and pushed him away.

“Better safe than sorry.” Mike continued. “You’ll end up with a baby like Ben.”

“There are worse things.” Aiden said dryly.

“Irish, I can’t believe I’m agreeing with you.” Mike said to further annoy Aiden.

“Stop. Or, for the Irish Aiden, full stop.” Cadence said, making peace. “This is a dumb argument. And we’re talking about Sidney.”

“Great hockey player.” Mike said with a grin. “If you’re going to date an athlete, the god of hockey is a good choice.”

“What does that mean?” Cadee asked looked over her shoulder at Mike, narrowing her eyes.

“It’s the trendy thing to do. Carrie Underwood just married Mike Fisher. And Cadee, let’s face it - you rate higher than a Mike Fisher type. A girl like you deserves something better.” Mike told her enthusiastically.

“You are a guy, right?” Cadence asked giving him a puzzled expression.

“Yes. Why do you ask?”

“And Canadian, no?” Aiden added with a smirk. For some reason, he and Cadence had a sort of odd mental connection. They could just read each other’s minds.

“Affirmative, Irish.”

“I was just checking. Also, I thought that Carrie Underwood wasn’t the famous one in that marriage according to Canadians.”

“See.” Mike got a semi-serious expression on his face. “That’s where you’re wrong. Carrie Underwood is hot - she’s sexy as hell. So, I know who she is. Spank bank, yes.” That thought made Cadence cringe. She really didn’t need to know who he thought about while getting off. Ignoring her grimace, Mike continued, “And then Fisher is a good hockey player and played for Ottawa. As a Leafs fan, I know who he is.”

“She is pretty hot. I can’t fault your argument there.” Aiden agreed with a shrug.

“She’s nice too.” Cadence said. “I can’t vouch for her spank bank potential, so I’m gonna go with nice.”

“What do they call it in Ireland? You know, self stimulation?” Mike wiggled his eyebrows. “Riding the tube?”

Cadence laughed and Aiden smiled. “I dunno. Beat the meat maybe. Or have a wank.”

“Riding the tube.” Cadence repeated goofily.

“There’s no shame in it. I’ve ridden the tube many a times.” Mike said. “Here and in the UK, I’m really not that picky.”