Living Silver

August 23rd, 10:09 am.

There were only two more weeks of summer vacation, and my nerves were getting the best of me. Once school started up again, it was going to be ten times harder keeping it a secret that Pax and I were hooking up and that would be accompanied with the drama of dating, if one of us got asked out. We had made sure to lay down ground rules, and Pax was clear that the minute one of us began feeling something for the other that was anything more than friends with benefits, we would have to end it so things wouldn’t get complicated; not that they weren’t already.

Neither Trey nor Karlee had any idea that there was something going on between us, which was exactly the way I wanted to keep it. I felt bad for hiding it from them though, and being able to talk about with it Aimee but if I told them they would flip out and shun us. Karlee knew what Pax was like as well, so she would just get defensive and tell me to watch out for myself. Trey would be judgmental, but he always was so it probably wouldn’t have been as bad if he knew but if Karlee did, she would probably pass out and never wake up. I was actually surprised that Pax had kept it from Trey because they were brothers and they shared everything.

Aimee left for Saskatchewan on the Wednesday morning. She had called me from the plane, nearly in tears because she was so upset about leaving. I knew that getting out of this hellhole was good for her and she knew it too, but that didn’t stop her emotions from taking over. I had said my goodbyes to her the night before and we stayed up all night talking while she weighed her options for the future. It was going to be so different not being able to just walk over to her house or having her come over whenever we wanted. Now I actually had to wait until she visited once every month. I refused to let us become those friends that gradually distanced themselves over the time span of a year and then just suddenly stopped talking.

One thing I noticed that morning when I was eating breakfast was that my parents had gone crazy and obsessive over the fact that they found a condom on my bedroom floor. It wasn’t mine though; Nick had decided to play a practical joke and poured apple juice into one of his, before throwing it on my carpet. I was at Pax’s house that day and my mom was the first to find it so she obviously assumed that I was having sex.

“I’m not having sex,” I said, pushing my hair back and widening my eyes at my brother, who still hadn’t said anything to me about me throwing my water bottle at him. I didn’t know what had had him upset either, so we remained in a state of silence.

Nick leaned against the wall with his arms crossed and a cocky smirk on his face.

“How do I know that?” my mom exploded, pacing back and forth. “You’re only sixteen! You shouldn’t be bringing boys into our house! I have no idea what you do with that friend of yours, Pax.”

Oh, if only you knew, mother.

“He’s a friend, mom. I’m not dating anyone,” I argued, slamming my hands down on the table.

“Well if you are, you need to tell me this stuff!” she said, taking my face in my hands and bending down. Nick chuckled from beside me and I gave him the finger. My mom was squishing my face to a point that it hurt me and I tried to say something, but I was in a position that any words would make me sound like I had a lisp. “I know we’ve never had . . . you know, the talk but if you have any questions, you know you can come to me, right?”

My eyes went wide.

Nick wasn’t able to contain himself any longer, and burst out into hysterics.

“What are you laughing at?” my mom asked, putting her hands in her lap.

“Her face,” he panted, holding his hips. “She looks horrified!”

“Oh shut up!” I yelled.

“Andy, ignore your brother. He’s just trying to get on your nerves. I haven’t given him the talk either but if he hasn’t figured it out by now, he’s a very slow-developing teenager,” my mom said. Nick stopped laughing and frowned, which made me smirk.

“Who’s got the funny face now?” I sneered.

“Well, at least now I know that I’ve got two pure kids,” she said, standing up and patting my head. She walked into the kitchen and it wasn’t until then that what she said hit me. I looked at Nick with my mouth wide open, and he shook his head rapidly, his eyes nearly out of his head as he told me not to say anything.

“What? Mom—!” I called but he leapt on me, causing me to tumble out of my chair and land on the ceramic floor. Nick covered my mouth securely and held a finger to his lips. My mom walked out of the kitchen, drying a plate and found us wrestling on the floor.

“What the hell are you two doing? Nick, get off your sister!” she yelled, grabbing his ear.

He yelped and climbed off of me, putting a finger across his throat. If I said anything, he was going to kill me but frankly, I didn’t care.

“Nick isn’t a virgin!” I yelled, and jumped to my feet quickly, bracing myself for the attack. My mom froze. Nick froze. Everybody froze. My dad had chosen that moment to step into the dining room, adjusting his watch.

“What’s going on?” he asked, looking at us.

“I just told mom that Nick’s not a . . . virgin,” I said, feeling uneasy from the killer glare my brother had set on me.

I had expected my dad to either congratulate Nick for ‘becoming a man’ or yell at him for not waiting until marriage. But instead, he just sighed, shook his head and walked out of the room, quickly throwing over his shoulder “I don’t want any grandchildren until you’re thirty.”



When I went over to Pax’s house the next week, I walked in on him getting a lecture from his parents about abstinence. It seemed that everyone was getting the sex talk lately. I wasn’t sure if it was Nation Sex Talk Week or something but it was really starting to get on my nerves. I understood that some teenagers slept around, but that didn’t mean everyone did.

“Andy, can we talk to you for a second?” Pax’s mom asked, motioning for me to come closer with her finger. I took off my shoes and slowly, cautiously made my way into the kitchen. Trey and Pax sat at the table with looks of shock on their face.

“Mom, can I go please?” Trey asked. “I don’t plan on having sex ever after this discussion.”

“As long at what we said is going to stick,” she replied, pointing a finger at him.
He nodded. “Oh believe me, it will. I’ll even remember it when I have a wife and she wants a baby.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “I hope you do.”

He quickly excused himself and I took his seat at the table. I heard the front door close as he left and looked up at the Weston parents, confused about why I was involved in this discussion.

“Uhm . . .” Pax’s dad said, clearing his throat and scratching the back of my head. “I’m guessing you two don’t want Trey or Karlee to know about what is going on between you two?”

Pax shifted in his seat and gulped. “Nothing’s going on. Why would you think that something was?” he asked.

“Well if nothing is going on between you two, can you explain to me why this was in your room?” And from behind her back, she pulled out my black bra. My eyes went wide, and Pax’s jaw dropped.

“Damn, how did I miss that?” he said under his breath.

“Oh my God,” I moaned, covering my face in my hands. My face burned. Not even the conversation I had with my mother about sex before was as embarrassing as this. No, this was a whole other level of humiliating.

“Why were you in my room anyway?” Pax asked, putting his hands down flat on the table.

“We’re parents. If we didn’t pay any attention to our kids, we’d probably lose you to a social worker,” his dad answered. “Now, do you want to explain yourselves or are we going to have to bring your sister in here and make her explain to you the importance of keeping it in your pants?”

“I’m pretty sure Andy doesn’t wear her bra in her pants, dad,” Pax joked, but neither of them were impressed. Any other day, they probably would have cracked up but when they were standing in front of us, holding my some of my undergarments in front of our faces, it wasn’t nearly as comical. Forget Pax missing it, how did I miss that I wasn’t wearing a bra on the way home?

“If you guys want us to keep this a secret, then you have to agree not to do . . . dirty things in our house,” his dad said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I don’t want to have to talk about this again.”

I bit my lip. “Understood.”

“And Pax?” his mom asked, raising her eyebrows.

He nodded. “Yeah, understood,” he agreed.

“Good.” His mom left the bra on the table and I blushed, quickly grabbing it and shoving it in my pocket. Then they walked out of the room, leaving Pax and I by ourselves.

“I don’t know how I’m going to explain the bra in my pocket to my parents,” I said, tapping my fingers on my legs awkwardly.

“Oh gosh,” Pax chuckled, shaking his head. “That was hilarious. I was trying so hard not to laugh.”

I looked at him, shocked. “What? So you found that humorous while I was just sitting here mortified out of my mind? Way to be supportive!”

“Oh come on, it was funny,” he smiled.

“No it wasn’t,” I mumbled.

“Well at least they didn’t say anything to Trey, right?” He moved his legs to the side of his chair and put his arm up on the back of mine. “Think about it; they could have ratted us out but they didn’t. And they also didn’t tell us not to do stuff, they just said don’t go too crazy here. Basically they were just warning us to be more careful.”

“Did you see your dad’s face?” I asked, sitting up straight and folding my arms on the table. “I’m pretty sure he was beyond disturbed.”

“That’s because he’s known you since we were playing hopscotch together,” he laughed. “He probably still thinks of you as the little girl that used to wear pigtails instead of a tall sexy teenager with boobs.”

“If your dad thought of me as a sexy teenager, we would have to visit some serious counseling sessions,” I said and he grinned.

“There’s the sense of humor I was looking for,” he returned, leaning closer to me.

“You bring it out of me,” I said. Pax’s hand came to my knee and his thumb rubbed circles on it, making me blush.

“What are you doing tomorrow night?” he asked.

“Home alone,” I replied. “Nick’s going out with Marcy, my mom has to work late and my dad is on a business venture out of the city.”

He smirked. “That sounds promising.”

“Did you want to come over?”

“If you’re okay with it.”

I smiled back at him. “What did you have in mind?”

“What are you comfortable with?”

I had to hold back the embarrassed laugh bubbling up at the back of my throat. “At this point, a lot of things.”

Pax got even closer, his lips right on the edge by mine but his dad clearing his throat from the doorway had him groaning and pulling back. “Privacy, dad. Seriously.”

“Watch with the attitude,” he returned, pointing a finger at us.

“Come on.”

His dad put up his hands. “I’m just trying to look out for you two,” he said. “And I really hope you’re being careful. I would hate to wake up one morning and find out I have to wash the bed sheets.”

I looked at Pax. “You don’t wash your bed sheets?”

“Of course I do. But that’s not what he was talking about, he meant that . . .” Pax paused, seemingly stumbling over his words. “You know . . .” He waved a hand in the air, biting his lip. And then I understood.

“Oh!” I exclaimed, scratching behind my ear. “Oh, your—ohhhh.”

“You get it now?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” He shook his head. “But if we never talk about this again, that would be great.”



September 2nd, 8:32 pm.

“I have one rule for tonight,” I said to Pax, leaning over the counter as he abused my kitchen. I couldn’t cook if my life depended on it so he took care of that part.

“And what’s that?” he asked, turning around so he was facing me.

“No alcohol,” I replied, crossing my arms. “My parents will notice if they’re missing bottles. They scan that liquor cabinet every day.”

Pax laughed. “Why?”

“If you lived with my brother, you would understand.”

“Ah.” He wiped his hands off on the back of his jeans and leaned against the sink. “He still hasn’t told you he’s sorry, has he?”

“Nope.” I shrugged and walked around him to get into the fridge. “Although after so long, it’s just smarter to not expect one. I kind of figured it would be pointless to wait for one. I mean, it’s Nick.”

“And that’s an explanation on its own,” Pax stated more than he asked.

“Exactly.” I reached for the top shelf and grabbed the milk, but Pax came up behind me and put his hands on my hips and his lips on my neck. I laughed, surprised, and had to set the milk down to steady myself. “Eager for something or what?” I asked, closing the fridge door and turning around. “Remember the oven is on.”

“I’m not exactly hungry right now,” he said, kissing me quickly. “Are you?”

“Not really.”

“Let’s skip dinner then,” he said.

“How much time do we have?” I asked, looking at the timer on the stove. “It’s going off in an hour.”

“Or I can just turn it off entirely,” he said, pressing the button and taking whatever he had put in the oven out with the mitts.

“If I knew you were making lasagna, I may have refused your offer,” I joked.

“Careful.” Pax tossed the oven mittens to the side of the room. They landed in the sink.

“You better dry those before my parents get home,” I said to him, raising my eyebrows.

“Stop changing the subject,” he deadpanned, grabbing my hand and leading me upstairs. He never failed to bring the anxious butterflies in my stomach to life. Even though we had been together multiple times, it was always exciting in a fresh, new kind of way. I hit my bed first and Pax followed, climbing on top of me. His shirt was discarded seconds after our lips collided and when his bare chest pressed against mine, I sighed in delight.

“When do I have to sneak out the window?” he asked me quickly, before landing another kiss.

“Ten, I think. We have lots of time,” I got out breathlessly. Pax stroked a hand down my bare leg and I shivered, lifting it up to his side.

“Did you ever go this far with Hailey?” I asked quietly and Pax groaned against me, moving his lips to where my shoulder and neck met.

“You really know how to take the romance out of a situation,” he said.

“I’m just asking.”

He lifted his head, his hands at the bottom of my shirt now. “What, are you looking for bases or something?”

“Just put it in baseball terms.”

He looked at the ceiling, thinking it over. “Somewhere between first and second. Closer to first though.”

I raised my eyebrows. “That surprises me.”

“Does it displease you?” he joked.

“Not one bit. I just would have expected you two to have gone a little bit further than simple kisses,” I replied.

“She tried to. It doesn’t mean I wanted her to,” Pax smiled.

“What do you mean by ‘tried to’? Did she like . . . jump on you or something?”

“She grabbed my crotch.”

I scowled. “That’s gross.”

“And where’s your hand right now?” he asked testily, smirking at me.

“Fair enough.”

He laughed and kissed me again, lifting my shirt over my head and tossing it to the side of the room. It landed on my floor, quickly followed by some other articles of clothing. A month ago, if someone had asked me if I would ever expect myself to be in this position with Pax Weston, I would have laughed in their face but if there was this much chemistry between any two people in the world, saying no to something like that would just be stupid. Soon enough, there wasn't a single layer separating me from him. I put my hand on his chest, could feel his heart beating. It was like nothing I had ever experienced.

“Do you want me to stop yet?” Pax asked, stroking a hand down my stomach. I shook my head and gasped when he touched the inside of my thigh. “Will you give me some warning?”

“I’ll let you know when we get there,” I panted.

“Are you sure?” he questioned, pushing my hair back off my face. “Any further and we’ll be running to the fourth base. And you know what that is.”

“I’m pretty sure we’ve already crossed a lot of lines here. I don’t want to stop.”

Pax hovered over at me, just staring before he put his hand on the back of my head and gave me the most passionate kiss I had ever received. My toes curled, my blood boiled, I got dizzy even though I was lying down. It was safe to say now that any boundaries of just being friends had been broken.

Because I didn’t ask him to stop.