Living Silver

December 25th, 1:07 am.

I looked at my watch and sighed. “Pax, I need to get home.” He shook his head.

“Not until we sort it out.”

“There isn’t anything to sort out,” I said, running my fingers through my hair and pushing it back. “Come on, I’m tired and we’re arguing about something that’s inevitable. If it was meant to be, don’t you think we’d be together by now?”

“You’ve only dated three other people,” he stated, holding up that many fingers. “There was Gage, and that went to hell, Laurie Baker in grade nine and then that Jake kid. That lasted a week. What the hell happened?”

“Does that really matter?” I asked, then paused and smirked. “Laurie. You always made fun of his name.”

Pax put his arms out. “Do you blame me?”

“A little.”

“I’ve wanted to ask you out on a date before,” he said, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “There always seemed to be something in the way. First you were taken, then you didn’t want a relationship, and then you had a crush on your geography teacher—”

“Hey now.” I pointed a finger in his face and glared. “I just thought he was good looking. I didn’t have a crush on him. And you’re just jumping right in there, aren’t you? How are you able to be so honest and still keep your dignity?”

“I’m not ashamed,” he said. “I’m being honest here. No jokes, no sarcasm, nothing.”

I frowned. “This doesn’t even sound like you.”

“Because I’m being straight with you.” He pushed his hair out of his eyes and sighed. “Do you remember what happened in February?”

“Valentine’s day?” I nodded. “Oh yeah, I remember.”



February 14th, 5:42 pm.

“You suck, do you know that?” Karlee said on the other end of the phone. After calling her up to let her know that I wouldn’t be burning pictures of past celebrity crushes and eating chocolate in the shape of hearts with her and the twins because Gage had asked me out on another date following Friday’s, I got the answer I wasn’t expecting at all; she was not pleased.

“I know it’s a tradition and everything,” I began, standing in front of the mirror and pinning my hair back with the phone pressed between my ear and shoulder so I had two free hands, “but it’s Gage. If you had a date with a super hot guy, you know I would totally excuse you for not hanging out with us. Like, say if the group of us were going to go see a movie or something and then Dalton called you up five minutes before and asked you to go on a date with him, we’d be fine with it.”

Except for Trey, I thought to myself. It almost slipped out but I caught myself moments before it did.

“That would never happen,” she laughed. “But still, you didn’t come with us on Friday because you were out with him. Can’t you just tell him tonight you’re with your friends? I don’t want to sound selfish or anything but . . . well, we knew you before he did!”

I smiled. “Relax. I’m sure you’ll have lots of fun.”

“With the twins?” She scoffed. “If I can get through the night with my house still fully intact, I’d call that a full victory. You know how much havoc they wreak when you’re not around to keep them under control. What the hell is with that ear thing you do?”

“The pinch and pull,” I recited with a nod. “I got it off my mom. She uses it on my brother a lot when he tackles me so I tried it out.”

“Dude. Teach me,” she demanded.

“Later.” I checked my watch and sighed. “I’ve got to go now, though. Gage will be here any minute and I still have to change my clothes. Derek threw up all over my new shirt and claimed it was because of some ‘bad pudding.’ I know he has it out for me, especially since he called me a bitch afterwards.”

“Isn’t Derek seven years old?” Karlee asked.

“That is correct.”

She snickered. “All right, well then have fun tonight bitch.”

“Good bye, Karlee,” I said obviously, hanging up the phone and rummaging through my closet to find something else to wear. I grabbed a shirt and changed quickly, then raced down the stairs once I heard the doorbell. Nick had unfortunately come home for the weekend to see his girlfriend Marcy, so when I got to the bottom of the staircase to see his hand already reaching for the door handle, I aimed to tackle.

“Hey Gage!” Nick exclaimed, and then looked over his shoulder at me with his eyebrows raised expertly. “You’re the guy my sister is going out with?”

“That’s right,” Gage laughed, stuffing his hands in his jean pockets. “You ready to go?” he asked me.

“Are you sure you want to do that?” Nick asked. “Dating can lead to love and love leads to marriage. And I can assure you, she”—he pointed his finger above my head—“is not a pretty sight to see in the morning.”

“Shut up,” I growled, elbowing him in the stomach. He gasped since I had knocked the wind right out of him, and put his hands on his sides, keeling over. I grabbed my coat and pulled it on, then walked out of the house with the middle finger pointed up at Nick. He sent me a glare and closed the door behind us. Since Gage was a January baby at age eighteen now and also had his license, he drove instead of making us walk in the cold February night.

But that didn’t last for too long because after we went to dinner, he wanted to go for a walk through town. I was shivering as we crunched through the brisk snow and slipping on the patches of ice but I didn’t care about any of that the minute that Gage took my hand in his, held it tightly and sent me the world’s most beautiful smile I had ever seen. Once he did that, in my eyes we were the only two people living tonight and nothing else seemed to matter but how right it felt to be holding his hand. The difference between “Gage in workplace” and “Gage on a date” was that he was himself outside of the shelter; inside, he was flirty and well-collected as a person, and definitely a hard worker but outside he was sweet and relaxed and made it obvious that he had flaws. He just didn’t want Meredith to know that he was anything but focused but everyone was like that around their boss because if they showed weakness, it would kick them in the ass.

He didn’t kiss me when he took me home. Of course I was looking forward to it and thinking about if he would through pretty much the entire date, but when it came down to the time for him to go for it, he just kissed my hand, smiled and told me he would give me a call and see me at the shelter. It confused me a little why a guy as outgoing and open as he was wouldn’t give it a shot but I wasn’t going to ask questions so I just went inside. And then I got the surprise of the night.

“Dude,” Nick said, coming to meet me at the door while I was slipping my shoes off. “These were left for you.” He was holding two red and two white roses wrapped with a see-through pink sheet and tied by a silk red ribbon. In his other hand was a small square box. “They came separately. I just found them together when I got home from dinner with Marcy.”

I unbuttoned my jacket and hung up it, taking the flowers and the box from him.

“Do they say who it’s from?” he asked. I shook my head and looked at the card which just said a simple “Happy Valentine’s Day”. I opened the box and blinked at the sparkling silver pearl inside. At least the deliverer specified who he was interested in, and I felt my heart melt a little that they had put in the effort to come to my house on the day dedicated to true love to get it to me. But I did falter a little when I came to the conclusion that it couldn’t be from Gage.

“What’s that?” Nick asked, looking over my shoulder. “Wow, that’s nice.” He pulled back and narrowed his eyes at me. “Who would want to give you that?”

I kicked him in the shin and his knee buckled. “Would it kill you to be nice for a change?” I glowered, pushing by him and going into the kitchen to put the roses in a vase. Nick limped in behind me but I didn’t look at him while I filled up the glass with water.

“You know I was just kidding,” he said, sitting down and rubbing his leg where my foot had just made contact. “Jesus, Andy. Did someone give you steel-toed socks or something? That really hurt.”

“I play football against the twins,” I reminded him. “Don’t you think I’ve learned how to kick over the years?”

“It’s football.”

“There’s a kicker,” I mocked. “How’s your Valentine’s Day been so far?”

“Okay.” Nick shrugged. “How was your date? Did he kiss you?” He cracked his knuckles and I winced.

“Nope,” I said, putting the vase in the middle of the kitchen table and folding my arms over my chest. “Maybe he doesn’t like me that way, I don’t know. It’s not that big of a deal though; it’s just another day, except with people making a big deal about relationships.”

“No. That’s every freaking day of a high school girl’s life.” And he walked off laughing. I rolled my eyes and walked out of the kitchen when I heard the doorbell ring. I didn’t even get to say hello after I had opened the door and my three best friends stomped inside. Karlee was first, followed by the twins bickering about who was better at basketball and which one of them would get their butt kicked first.

“All. Night,” Karlee grumbled, flopping down on the couch and pointing to the twins. “The minute Pax joined us, they started one of their stupid ‘whose ass would get kicked first’ arguments.”

I sat down with her. “What did you do all night then?” I asked.

“Watched movies,” she replied. “And played Scrabble with myself. I won every time.”

I laughed. “I figured.”

“At least I got a Valentine’s Day kiss.”

My eyebrows shot up. “Seriously? From who?”

She nodded over her shoulder. “Trey. Not on the lips or anything but it’s better than nothing, right?”

I grinned. Way to go, Trey, I thought. It was better than nothing but Valentine’s Day was the perfect day for him to tell her how he really felt about her. But if he wasn’t ready, I respected that and decided not to yell at him when I got him alone.

“Anyway.” She turned to face me, folding her legs beneath her and smiling widely. “Did you get a Valentine’s kiss?”

Pax and Trey immediately stopped talking, both staring intently. I glanced at Pax, whose eyes held curiosity and, what I could only assume was dread. I pushed it aside and decided to ignore it because chances were slim on him being upset with it. “No,” I said quietly. “No kiss.” I shrugged my shoulders and turned on the television to get my mind on something else instead of the three people staring at me. Karlee’s mouth had fallen wide open in shock, whereas the twins had walked over to sit next to me and continue to watch closely like I was some sort of museum piece.

“How?!” Karlee finally boomed, voice breaking the silence at the same time the TV crackled to life. “Isn’t this your second date with the guy? By this time, any other guy would be demanding a make out session in your bedroom. Right guys?”

She chucked a pillow at Trey’s face and he jumped. “Yeah,” he blurted, not entirely sure what to say.

“Karlee’s right,” Pax spoke up. “Is the guy sick or something? Lots of people kiss on the first date.”

“He might just respect the fact that Andy hasn’t asked or demanded one,” Trey argued. “Not every guy wants just that.” He punched me lightly in the arm and I smiled, thankful for him sticking up for me. Pax and Karlee would not have that, though.

“That doesn’t make any sense though. I get that he has manners and probably doesn’t want to take it too far too fast but don’t you think he should at least put forward the effort?” Karlee looked at me. “Did he hold your hand at least?”

I nodded and Pax clapped loudly, surprising us all. “Then he should have kissed you. It can’t just be from a lack of interest because if he made a move to do that, it’s not like he doesn’t have feelings for you.”

I shrugged. “It’s not that big of a deal. If he wants to go on another date, he’ll call me and if he wants to kiss me, he will. Can we just drop this?”

Pax, Trey and Karlee all looked at each other, going silent. That left us alone on the couch until eleven at night watching sappy love movies when they finally decided to go home. Then again, it was partially because of my parents coming home that forced them to get out but, they were falling asleep anyway and got too tired to try and keep their eyes open. Trey and Karlee left together and Pax was last. He stopped with his foot out the door and turned around to face me again.

“Hey Andy?”

“Yeah.”

He put his hand on my shoulder, leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. My eyes went wide but as the kiss continued, it became too much of a weight to keep them open so I closed them. I didn’t have any control of my hands wrapping around his waist and it felt like they were their own entity because I couldn’t remove them.

Pax pulled back and smiled.

“What the—”

“You wanted a Valentine’s Day kiss didn’t you?” he laughed. “Well, you got it.”



December 25th, 1:14 am.

“I didn’t think it was that big of a deal,” I said, smoothing out the bottom of my dress. “You acted like it wasn’t so it’s not like I was going to say anything else. You just left after that anyway. If you were looking for a relationship, wouldn’t you have waited around?”

Pax shrugged. “It’s possible.”

“The flowers.” I leaned forward, eyes narrowed apprehensively. “Were those from you?”

He nodded.

“And the pearl?” Pax glared and I put my hands up. “All right, I guess not.”

“Look, we’re good for each other,” he said, standing up. “We’ve gone through a lot as friends and even more to test it. You can’t call this just a companionship if we’ve pretty much broken every rule and keeps it like that.”

“There aren’t rules, Pax. We’re free to make our own relationship and the way I see it, you never wanted anything more than that. Why are you trying to change something that’s already so good? We’re great friends. Do you really want to ruin it?” I asked, putting my arms out to the side.

“We’ve already ruined it,” Pax argued. “There’s no way to fix it. Friends don’t kiss each other. They don’t hook up for two months or hide things from their other friends about their relationship unless there was something to hide. We’re like Karlee and Trey but better. Yeah, they’ve known each other for a really long time and he’s been in love with her for years but he’s never acted on it until now. We’ve gone a lot further than just a simple kiss so don’t try and tell me there’s nothing between us.”

I blinked, shock evident on my face.

“I really don’t know what to tell you,” I sighed, rubbing my forehead.

He lowered himself back into the chair. “Tell me why we shouldn’t be together,” he spoke softly, his voice cracking unexpectedly. “Because I don’t see any reason not to.”