Living Silver

Hailey was sitting on the dock with her feet in the water and her sandals beside her, waiting for me. The sun was setting across the lake and everyone that had gone out for a day on the water was just coming back, tanned or burnt but relaxed and pleased either way. I was hesitant to approach her—half dreading what she wanted to tell me and the other half just not wanting to be in the same general area as someone I walked in on mounting my best friend—but sat next to her anyway, my bare legs brushing against the wooden platform causing, what I could only guess, would be a splinter by morning.

“So what’s the situation?” I asked. “If you just called me here to give me a laundry list of my imperfections, I’m just going to get up and leave. I already know you don’t like that I’m dating your brother. I just don’t know why.”

Hailey let out a short laugh. “That’s not it,” she said. “I don’t like anyone dating my brother. It’s not just you. He’s my best friend and the fact that all of his time and energy is dedicated to someone he met only a few months ago rather than someone who has been with him his entire life is frustrating.”

“Whatever relationship you have with your brother is honestly disturbing,” I deadpanned. “I don’t know what your problem is but if you spent even half as much of your time actually being happy for him when he wanted to be involved with someone rather than following him around like a lost puppy, he would probably like you a hell of a lot better.”

“Hey, don’t you give me tips on how to run my life,” she snapped, pointing a finger in my face. “Look, I called you here to explain what happened with Molly and my brother. I’m not going to fight with you about something that could really go on forever. So I’m getting this out and then I’m leaving.”

I put my hands on the dock behind me, waiting patiently.

“They met in grade nine, right? I don’t know what it was that attracted him to her because at first, she wasn’t that supermodel-looking chick she is today. She had glasses, packed on pounds easier than that big fat guy at our school—”

“Do you have to be so brutal?” I asked, cocking a brow. “He’s not fat.”

“He’s fat.”

I sighed and shook my head. “Whatever. Go on.”

“They were from two totally different social groups. Like, she was that nerd that literally had no friends and hung out by herself in the library at lunch. Anyway, he went there once to work on a project right? And I guess he needed help finding a book for research so he asked her and yeah, they got to talking and shit happened. I guess Molly thought she wasn’t appealing enough to be with Gage because he was the big, bad ‘I know and love everyone’ guy in the school that was basically in every school club, sport or activity that he could be in without damaging his schedule or messing up the other clubs. Gage was somehow crazy intelligent even though he was busy until like, six o’clock every night.”

Hailey sighed and pushed her hair back over her shoulder. “Anyway, Molly became like an older sister to me. She fit in well with Gage’s friends too once they began dating and I guess I liked having another girl around the house. But I never got to see my older brother anymore because she was taking up so much of his time. So I did the exact same thing as I did to you. I wanted to send a message because girlfriends come and girlfriends go. Unless you’re going to be there with him until the end, I’m not leaving,” she said, and then looked at me. Her face held seriousness, but no anger. Was this supposed to be her letting her guard down or something? “My brother isn’t someone you want to screw around with.”

“I wouldn’t screw around with him. I like him,” I said.

“Okay. Well, Molly didn’t bolt. I put her through that kind of stuff for about a year and I know it upset her because she asked me a few times to give her some time alone with Gage. She would never say it meanly because Molly just isn’t that blunt. She’s a pushover but once you get to know her, she’s not someone you want to push around. She’s too nice for that shit,” Hailey said, lifting a leg up onto the dock, wrapping her arms around it to bring it into her chest and put her chin on top of her knee. “Gage told me off once too. I’m trying to protect him. Any brother would be looking out for his sister if someone screwed around with her, right?”

“I wouldn’t know,” I mumbled, thinking of Nick. He was my older brother but he never even seemed to give a crap if I was upset. It had been years since we had gotten along but the minute he got held back, he got cocky and took it out on the wrong people. He used to be my best friend, but after his attitude got worse, I stayed away from him whenever possible. It wasn’t exactly improving today, but luckily it wasn’t worsening either. He just never really cared what I did in terms of boys, and if I got hurt he would probably just say something along the lines of “suck it up, princess” or “you’ll find someone else”. Nick didn’t like to stick around longer than needed, and he certainly didn’t like to console.

“Well, Gage and I are close,” Hailey said and I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, I caught on.”

“If you really like him, I shouldn’t be something that gets in the way. What I would be worried about if I was you is Molly,” she said, rubbing her hands on her thighs. I looked over at her, intrigued. “They’re hanging out again. After that day at the beach, she’s been calling our house, asking him if he’s busy. They’ve gone to movies, they’ve out for coffee, they’ve gone for long walks on the beach; anything you can think of that two ex’s shouldn’t do with each other, they’ve done it. They broke up because Molly wasn’t sure if Gage was interested in her. I’m sure you know he’s not good with being romantic or affectionate.”

“Well that explains why he hasn’t been at the shelter,” I muttered under my breath.

Hailey laughed. “Yeah, I guess so. You know, I really don’t mind you dating my brother,” she said. “I know I act like I do, but I think you’re a good match for him. And you’ve got spunk, and aren’t afraid to stand up for yourself which is really good. But it may not be good enough because Molly’s definitely back in his life and I don’t know what she has up her sleeve but I’m sure she’s going to be staying in it for a while. The two of them are practically perfect for each other.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Neither of them can make up their minds,” she smiled. “Molly was stuck between Gage and her best friend, Jackson for the longest time. That’s who she broke up with him for but it didn’t last long because he slept around, a lot. That might explain why she wants to be around Gage now; you know, because she misses him or something. I don’t know.” Hailey let out a deep breath and bit her lip. “I guess she’s kind of like you, huh?”

“How is she like me?” I asked.

“Well, you and Pax . . .” she began, staring at me with a look of confusion. “You guys are best friends, right? Has anything ever happened before?”

“No!” I exclaimed, shaking my head. “Pax and I have been friends for years now. I doubt anything will ever happen there.”

“Has he kissed you?”

I thought back to Valentine’s Day. Pax was a great friend, but I didn’t think he was that good of a friend to give me a kiss that left me hanging and wondering if it meant anything more. Of course since he left right after, it obviously didn’t.

“Yeah,” I whispered. Hailey’s eyes widened from the surprise of it. “But it didn’t mean anything,” I added quickly. “He was just being a good friend.”

She snorted. “Right.”

“Look, I don’t want any more of this drama okay? I just want to go through summer nicely. I don’t want one that I’m going to look back at and go ‘oh God, that was hell’. So can we work something out and agree not to start a whole mess of crap that would just make one of us want to punch the other one in the face?”

Hailey nodded. “All right, but why?”

“You’re dating my best friend and I’m dating your brother. It’s not the best situation for two girls who can’t stand the sight of each other,” I explained, managing a tiny smile.

Hailey chuckled. “Fair enough.” She put her hand out to me. “I won’t get in your way anymore, as long as you stay out of mine.”

I nodded. “Fine. But I’m not going to stop dating your brother. If I did, it certainly wouldn’t be for you.”

“And I’m not going to stop dating Pax,” Hailey said, pushing herself up and grabbing her sandals. “If I did, it wouldn’t be for you either.” I nodded and let her walk away.

Even though it wasn’t the ideal situation—which would have been if she stopped dating Pax—it was better than nothing.



July 31st, 1:27 pm.

Aimee had called me up so we could get together during lunch. She had something important to tell me, and also just wanted some time to hang out because she said that she wasn’t sticking around for a lot longer and she wanted to get a good lunch-and-shop day in before she disappeared. I didn’t exactly know what she was talking about, but I figured it had to do with whatever she wanted to tell me and I was just going to ask her about it when we hung out. I only had so much time with her though, because later tonight I was going out with Karlee and the twins for their birthday.

“So how are you and Gage doing?” was the first question that she asked me after we had ordered our lunch at a small café on the shopping block of the city and found a seat outside looking over the water. The district of our town dedicated to fashion was right on the waterfront, which made for an even greater day if we brought our swimsuits and decided to take a dunk in the water.

“We’re okay,” I replied. Gage had called me a few nights earlier to apologize and explain things. Of course, I already knew because Hailey told me but I just nodded along and said “uh huh” and “yeah” in the right places, playing it off that I didn’t have any idea. He said that Molly had always been important to him and they were trying to renew their friendship and work into a comfortable state where things weren’t awkward every time they saw each other. He also said that nothing romantic was going to happen between them ever again because of everything that had happened, and because he liked me. But I wasn’t so sure I could trust him to keep it that simple. Gage was getting into the habit of fitting both of us into his schedule so he would see her when I was busy with someone else, but I was the number one priority. I didn’t know long he was going to be able to keep that up. Apparently both he and Molly were going to the same University, which meant way less time for me, and way more time for her. But I didn’t want to think about that right now, and left it alone. It was better to just go with it and see where it took us.

“That’s good,” Aimee said, tapping her fingers on the rim of her plastic smoothie cup. She was nearly shaking, and her skin looked pale like she hadn’t been outside for a while. She looked nervous and uncomfortable.

“Aimee, are you okay?” I asked, putting my hand over hers to try and get her to relax.

“Not really,” she said, clearing her throat and sitting up. “All right, there’s really no easy way to say this so I’ll just get on with it.”

I looked at her, confused and brought my hands back into my lap, waiting.

“I’m moving to Saskatchewan.”

My jaw dropped. “What?!”

“I’m going to live with my dad,” she said, biting her lip. “I’m fed up with my mom treating me like a child. I want to take charge of my life without having to feel like I’m being watched my every move, you know? So this is me making a difficult decision all by myself.” Aimee looked confident; more confident than I had ever seen. She must have thought about this for a long time, which explained months ago when she went to tell Dylan “something important”. She probably knew since then, and just didn’t want to tell me because of how close we had gotten. Besides, boyfriends were the main concern when it came to stuff like that so it made sense.

It was no surprise that Aimee’s mother wanted to try and control her life. Aimee never got any freedom and on the rare occasion that she got to go out with Dylan, her mother insisted she come along. Aimee got away without her a few times but it still didn’t help the fact that she got zero freedom. She was probably the third most mature teenager I knew, next to Trey and Karlee, so the fact that she was restrained from doing anything a normal sixteen year old girl would be able to do, which affected her personality a little as well.

“What did she say when you told her?” I asked.

“Well I had already talked to my dad about it and he was more than enthusiastic about having me around. But my mom said no, of course. I didn’t take that for an answer,” she said. I noticed her eyes glass over and took a painful stab to the heart because of it. I had only seen Aimee cry once before and that was from another family problem. “I feel bad for leaving her since I’m really the only person she has in her life, you know? I just can’t keep doing this. She’s abusing her position as my mother and going to the extreme. She needs some flexibility.”

I nodded. “This must be hard for both of you,” I said, breaking off a piece of my cookie and putting it in my mouth.

“It is,” Aimee said, wiping her eyes before she was seen crying in public. I knew what that was like, because the only thing the surrounding people did was stare at you and if you looked back at them, they kept staring. Staying out of others’ business was not something they were good at doing. “But it’s for the best. I need a change.”

“What are you going to do about Dylan?” I asked.

“Well we talked it out and we arranged a system to visit each other every few weekends by train or plane or whatever gets us there,” she replied. “If we can’t go right over, then we’re going to meet somewhere in the middle. He’s got his driver’s license already since he’s older so he can drive up and I can get my dad to give me a ride or something.”

“You guys have so much confidence,” I laughed. “Are you sure it’s going to work?”

“We’ve been together for so long now and we already know that we’re probably going to end up together, married with little babies and stuff,” she smiled. “We’re willing to make it work by all means necessary.”

“Won’t that be hard?”

Aimee shrugged. “Yeah, but you know . . . if it’s true love, wouldn’t you want to do anything possible to keep it the way it is?” she asked, crossing her arms on the table. “I’m crazy about him. And if you really love someone enough that you would give your own soul to make them happy, that’s really all that matters. And I know I’m only sixteen and any parent would tell me that I don’t know what real love is at this age and how it’s all in my head but I know what I feel, and no one can change that.”

I sat back, amazed, and thought about what she said. Aimee was right; we were being told every day not to get too attached to someone at this age or say “I love you” a week into the relationship because when we’re young, we don’t know what we’re doing but that didn’t mean we couldn’t experience love. If Aimee and Dylan were meant to be together, then they would and from the looks of things, they were heading the way she thought. They had been together since grade eight and had never encountered a problem they couldn’t get past. In my eyes, they were soul mates. But this also made me think about Gage. What Aimee said—caring about someone enough to do anything for them—should have made me feel secure about my relationship with Gage but it didn’t. He was with Molly right now and here I was, sitting in a café with one of my best friends, questioning whether or not I was going to last with my boyfriend. If Molly came back into his life with the same intentions in mind, that most likely meant they were going to get back together. Then where would I be left?—single and alone while my other best friend was dating my ex-boyfriend’s evil sister. That would just be the worst position ever.

“Andy,” Aimee said, bringing me back to the real world. “If you’re thinking what I think you are, then stop. If Gage isn’t treating you right, then you need to break up with him. You said his ex-girlfriend is back, right? If they’re meant for each other, then you don’t want to get in the middle of that. It’s nothing against you, I swear. It’s because you’re going to get hurt by a guy who chose another girl over you. And you come second to none.”

I nodded. “I guess.”

“To be honest, I always thought you and Pax were dating,” she said with a grin, biting into her straw. “That is, until that Hailey chick starting showing up at our locker and flirting with him. Then I knew they were dating. It kind of brought my spirits down.”

I put my hands down on the table. “Wait a second, you knew they were dating? Sheesh! Even I didn’t and I’ve known the kid since I was playing in mud! I must be blind.”

“Love is blind,” Aimee laughed.

“What do you mean by that?”

“You missed it because you weren’t paying attention to her; you were paying attention to him. Do you like Pax?”

“No,” I said assertively, shaking my head. “At least, I don’t think so.”

Aimee smiled. “All right. Well finish your lunch and then we’ll go shopping,” she said. “I need to get some new shorts. These ones have a hole in the crotch.”

“Then why are you wearing them?” I smirked.

“I don’t have any other ones!” she exclaimed. I laughed and began working on my sandwich. I always loved hanging out with Aimee; she was so easy to talk to and she didn’t force questions on me if she thought I was interested in someone. I felt comfortable around her, and now that I knew she was moving I knew it was going to be ten times harder to deal with boy problems. Of course I had Karlee; I loved the girl to death. But having two girlfriends that could both help out in different ways was a lot easier to deal with than just one person who had a tactic that worked in some ways but not others.

When Aimee and I were scanning the racks of one of the most popular clothes stores, squeezing our way through the crowds and trying to find something that might catch our eye, I found a short black dress with white polka dots and practically pounced for it but at the same time I went to grab it, someone else did. And when I looked up, Shay was standing there.

“Hey!” she said, smiling. She looked at the dress and then at me. “Oh, sorry. You take it.”

“No, it’s okay. You can have it,” I said, putting my hands up.

“No, I insist. It would look ten times better on you,” she said, handing it to me. And when I tried it on, it did look pretty damn good. “Rockin’,” she said when I stepped out to look in the mirror. I put my hands on my hips and smiled at her over my shoulder.

“Thanks.”

“So you and Gage are dating, eh?” she asked, giving me a small nod. “That’s cool.”

“Yeah. For a few months now actually. Does uhm . . . does Molly still like him?” I felt awkward for asking her that, because she was probably going to say something to her but I needed to know if I had something to worry about.

Shay scoffed. “I don’t even know what Molly’s doing. She’s being an idiot. She probably still likes him and wants him back and all, but she doesn’t realize that he’s off-limits now. I mean, he’s dating you and don’t tell her I said this, but you guys are an amazing couple. And you’re pretty damn stunning.”

I blushed and laughed. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I think Molly’s going to understand soon that she’s just going to get turned down for going for someone with a girlfriend. Besides, she broke up with him, you know? I don’t get why she would go back to him after dumping him on his ass. That’s just wrong.” Shay shook her head. “Whatever. I love her but at the same time, she’s a gigantic idiot when it comes to Gage. The two of them are both stupid. They’re just like . . . a train wreck waiting to happen.”

I bit my lip. “Oh.”

Shay looked up at me. “Hey, by the way don’t worry about me saying any of this to her. I’ll keep it between the two of us.”

“Thanks,” I smiled. “I don’t want you to think I’m a bitch or anything. I mean, I don’t know what Hailey or Molly have said about me—”

“Oh God. Hailey’s the biggest bitch to step foot on Earth,” she said quickly, shaking her head. “And Molly hasn’t said anything bad about you so don’t think about it too much. She’s jealous of you. And I’m sure Hailey is too, but Hailey wants everyone so it’s not just Gage’s attention she’s trying to win. She wants to compete with you, test you. So watch out.”

I nodded. “Got it.”

“Everything okay out here?” Aimee asked, stepped out of her change room with a new shirt and shorts on. “And does this look okay?”

“Looks hot,” Shay said. She was forward. I couldn’t say I minded it.

“It does. You look good,” I agreed. “And we’re just talking.”

“Boy talk,” Shay added. “I’m Shayne by the way.”

“Aimee,” she returned with a smile.

“I should probably get going,” Shay said, looking at her watch. “I’ve got errands to run and I was just slipping off my mom’s radar for a few minutes before I got yelled at.”

“I know the feeling,” Aimee said.

Shay grinned. “Well I’ll see you guys around. Want my number?” she asked me.

“Sure,” I said, handing her my phone. She programmed her cell phone number into it and handed it back to me. “I’ll text you sometime.”

“Cool. Catch you on the flip side,” she said with a salute and walked off, leaving Aimee and I laughing hysterically.

“Wow, she’s awesome,” she gasped. “Who is she anyway?”

“She’s Molly’s friend,” I replied. “I think I can say proudly that she’s the first girl involved in this big thing that I might actually like.”

“Oh!” Aimee went back into her room and fished for something in her bag, then pulled out a small silver pearl and handed it to me. I looked up at her, surprised. “I found it in the locker when I was cleaning my stuff out after my final exam. Figured it was yours and the guy just didn’t know. I would have given it to you sooner but this was the first time we hung out since school ended.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Mean anything to you?”

I nodded. “Yeah,” I said enthusiastically and a little breathless. I undid the rubber string around my wrist and slipped the eleventh pearl onto it. “Yeah, it means a lot.”