I Miss 'Normal'

Everyone says I'm too skinny, that I should "eat a sandwich".

I want to get better, and enjoy my food.

I don't want to think about calories, and my weight, and the way my stomach looks.

I want to be happy.

I want to look in the mirror, and think "I'm beautiful" just once.

I don't want to gain weight though.

I can't stop eating too much, and I can't stop purging.

I've tried, but I can't go a week without purging.

My period is late, and my hair is losing it's softness.

But I can't stop.

I want to get better for my mom, so she won't worry.

For my sisters, so they don't start down the same path as me.

For my friends, so they won't realize what their friend is.

For my girlfriend, so I'll be healthy, and she won't b worried I'm sick.

For my bestfriend, so he doesn't feel like I'll break when he hugs me and his eyes won't get big with worry.

For myself, so I can prove that I can, and I can be happy.

I know who I should be.