Crash World

Finally today was the day, to set up the nursery. Sasha and Abby had already painted the room, since I couldn’t be in there while it was painted being pregnant and all. I had decided on a brown colour for the walls and yellow and green for the sheets and pillows. Sharpie and Brent were here to help us girls set up all the furniture.

The guys were in the room, putting up the furniture as us girls sat in the living room opening packages and sorting stuff into piles of where they were going to go.
“I seriously better be getting a good dinner for this”, yelled Brent as we heard a yelp.
“Uh, what was that?”, Abby yelled back.
“Oh, nothing. Brent just forgot to put some screws in and the table fell, but he’s fine”, answered Sharpie.

Other then that, the rest of the afternoon went smoothly. I made dinner for everyone and we all sat at the table and ate.
“So Sasha when does your training start?”, asked Brent.
“Friday, but I leave at tonight at 9, for Buffalo”, answered Sasha.
We were all talking and having fun. Sharpie’s phone started to vibrate, so he went and grabbed it from the counter.
“Who was it sweetie?” asked Abby from the table.
“Uh, its tazer. He said Jen just had a baby girl named Hannah”, said Sharpie.
Everyone looked over at me with sympathetic looks.
“Don’t give me those looks guys you know I hate them.”

We went back to eating so no talking about Sharpie’s text message. This whole situation was such a touchy subject, and no one knew how to go about talking about stuff without it getting brought up. An hour later, Abby, Sharpie and Brent left to go to the hospital to see Jonathan and Jen. They told me I couldn’t look at the nursery until they had left, they wanted to surprise me I guess.

I decided I would wait till Sasha had gone also to go in and look around.
“I love ya bestie, I’m only a phone call and plane ride away if you need me ok?”, Sasha said as she was getting ready at the door to head to the airport.
“I love you too, and I know I know. I’ll be fine, just worry about getting back into competition mode.” I said while laughing.

“I will”, Sasha said as she bent down and began to talk to my tummy. “Now, baby no funny stuff while I’m gone alright. Auntie Sasha doesn’t want you coming early, just stay in there and wait 2 more months okay.”
“God, Sasha your too funny.”
We said our goodbyes and she left.

I put the leftovers in the fridge, and went to my room and a box from my closet. I walked over to the door of the nursery and opened it. It was beautiful, just like I had imagined it. I looked at the change table, the crib. I noticed that I mobile I had bought wasn’t over the crib, but a Blackhawks one was in it’s place. It had small jerseys with each of the guys’ names on them. That had to be one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen. The room wasn’t completely done. The picture fames would be all put up once the baby was born and we had some pictures of he or she. I took a seat on my large chair and opened the box I had brought in.
I had been cleaning out my closet yesterday when I came across this box, I had a feeling what was in it but I wanted to wait to open it.

I looked through the pictures; there were ones of me and Jonathan when he went to North Dakota, at my skating competitions, my graduation from Chicago University and from when he got drafted in 2006. I found a ticket from Jonathan’s first nhl game that I went to. There were so many memories and even though things were like they were I just didn’t have the heart to get rid of them.

There were more recent photos of when we got engaged, when we first bought the house 2 years ago, both of us with the cup on the ice with team mates and friends, in Winnipeg with the cup. Looking at all this just reminded me what I don’t have anymore and what’s gone.

I had been having trouble sleeping lately, Sasha thought it was because the baby was always kicking but there was another reason why and no one knew yet, looking at these pictures made me think. I started to cry and I scanned over the scattered pictures in front of me.

The real reason why I was having trouble sleeping was because I was starting to doubt that living in Chicago once the baby was born was a good idea. And that I have a tough decision in front of me.