The Past Isn't Really In The Past

It's now Tuesday, seven in the morning and I'm tireder than I am when I'm hungover. I groggily rolled out of bed, all but smashed my alarm clock to tiny pieces, and stood from my comfortable bed. I notice as I'm walking past Jack that he stirred slightly. He sits up and rubs the sleep from his eyes. I can't but frown at the dark circles under them.

'What are you doing, Lexy?' He asks, clearly half asleep.

'Go back to sleep. I'm going to an interview. Its just gonna be me, and its seven.' I answer back, digging through my bag for something decent to wear. Maybe a button up and my good pair of jeans, the ones that make my ass look good? Hmm...

'Oh,' Jack states. He sees what I'm doing and a small grin takes over his features. 'Having trouble deciding what to wear?'

'Uh, yeah. What do you think I should wear?' I ask and look over my shoulder at him. He looks to be in major deep thought.

'How about your blue button up and a good pair of jeans? Hell, I don't know.' He says, huffing and thumping back down on his back.

'Thats what I was thinking. Great minds think alike, don't they Jacky?' I ask as I'm heading towards the bedroom. He just huffs again and I can't stop the chuckle that passes through my lips. 'Arent you the morning person?'

'Fuck off,' he grumbles and shoves his face back into the pillow.

'As you wish,' I shrug and close the bathroom door and lock it. I know Jack won't come in here but still. Its a habit I've picked up on while touring.

I change from my comfortable sweats and Blink 182 shirt into my interview clothes. I brush my teeth, to get rid of morning breath and pick around at my hair until it looks somewhat decent. Call me a girl, I don't care; I have to have my hair looking good. Much like girls do. I'm gay, so yeah, I tend to do things like girls. Get over it.

My hair doesn't like to straighten out so I wet my fingers and do my best to smooth it out that way. It works some, but in some places it's still sticking up. Looking much like sex hair. Great. I sigh in frustration and look around for the straightener me and Jack share when we tour. I found it in one of the many drawers that this hotel has but also notice something else. Not in the drawer but on the sink.

I look closely and see that its a few drops of dried blood. And that means only one thing. I felt my heart drop and break a little. Why does he keep doing this? Why can't he just talk it out with us? We're like brothers, like a family. We'd understand. I sigh sadly and shake my head. He's got to stop this. Before he cuts to deep and kills himself. And thought makes me dizzy. I can't loose him. Not to something that can be stopped. I hope I can get through that thick ass head of his.

My gaze lingers on the dried blood and I bite my lip. He makes me nervous. I would say something to him but I know that he's not exactly in a state to be confronted about anything and I don't want him to do anything stupid.

I sigh and turn the straightener on and wait until its good and hot before trying to get my hair right. It took exactly ten minutes before it looked perfect. It was laying just right and I smirked at myself in the mirror. God, did I look sexy today.

I chuckled to myself and left the bathroom, grabbed my hotel key off the table next to the door and took one last look at Jack. He was sound asleep again and I noticed with uneasiness that his left arm was tucked underneath his body, as if he was scared someone would see something. That must be the arm he cuts. I thought. I shook my head and left the hotel room.

---

I was probably 30 minutes into this interview and I was already bored out of my mind. I was just thankful that it wasn't a long interview like the ones we've done in the past. This one was probably either a thirty minute one to an hour. I hopped thirty minutes so I could leave...

'So, this will be our last question.' Maggie the interviewer said and I couldn't stop the sigh of relief but she thought I was just breathing more loudly than normally.

'Well, dang. It was really fun talking with you.' I said. The lie slipped off my tongue easily. I've said that to so many interviewers.

'Aw, well aren't you sweet?' She let out a small laugh. 'Anyway, we hear that you're going on a tour here soon?'

I nodded. A tour I wasn't looking forward too. 'Yeah, we are and we're so excited for it. There's going to be some new music off our newest album and some old stuff. Its gunna be hype.'

'Well it sounds fun. Can't wait to see it. Are. There gunna be any guests we should expect?'

'Yeah. We're bringing along with us Forever The Sickest Kids. Great band.' I all but shuddered at that. Sure the music was good but there's a certain someone that I am not looking forward to seeing again. Ever.

'Oh! How fun. Do you guys know each well?'

All too well, I'm afraid. 'Yeah. We're pretty close. Their amazing guys.'

'Well we're all looking forward to seeing you guys on tour. Tickets go on sell when?'

'Oh, they go on sell next Monday. So go grab you some, bitches. Get 'em while their hot.' Ii gave a wink to the camera and smiled.

'Well, this has been Alex-'

I zoned out after that and waited for her to stand. Because that would be my cue to leave. Once she did, I stood too and gave her a quick hug before heading out.

On my way back to the hotel, I noticed a bus that was too familiar for my liking. I got closer to it and with a sicking feeling, I saw it was the FTSK tour bus.

'Ah, fuck!' They were here way to early. They weren't supposed to be here until next week. What the fuck! I bit my lip and moved closer. The closer I got to the bus, the more clearly I was able to hear and heard two people speaking. It sounded a lot like Kyle and Jon. My jaw tightened at the thought of that bastard.

Not wanting to get caught, I moved quickly past the bus and with one last look, I took off towards the hotel. I had to tell Jack that they were here so he could be careful. And not run into Jon. I don't even wanna think about what he would do.

I broke into a sprint and made it to the hotel in record time. I went to the elevator and hit the button several times. God, hurry up.

And ding! There it is. I jumped in and ignored the strange looks I received.

It felt like forever before I made it back to the hotel room. My fingers were fumbling around for my key and they were slightly shaky as I slid it into the slot and unlocked the door. I stepped in and the first thing I saw was Jack sitting against the bedborad, eyes trained on the tv. He was short sleeves and basketball shorts. Hmm.

'Jack!' I called out and plopped down next to him and looked at him. He looked back at me with a raised eyebrow.

'Yeah?' He asked.

And that's when I was lost as to how to break it to him. I could just.. tell him. Be blunt. No, that wouldn't work.

'I saw someone - or something after the interview.' I started.

'Well... I'm happy for you?' He said it more of a question than stated it.

'Well.. I saw the bus to Forever The Sickest Kids. Their here earlier than they should.' I said and watched as his face fell a little and he broke eye contact. I bit my lip in anxiety.

'Oh..' his voice trailed off and he seemed to be in deep thought. 'Well... that's... okay I guess. I mean, that's cool.'

'Youre okay with this? Are you sure?' I asked unsure. He nodded and gave me a look that seemed like he was okay.

I still wasn't sure though.