The Past Isn't Really In The Past

I didn't know what to think. I had been perfectly fine, my cutting had reduced, but now this?

I shivered, "Hey, Alex? I'm going to go get myself a Recees because I'm hungry." I said, and instead of answering, Alex walked up to me. He pressed himself against me, and put his hands on his hips.

"I have something I want to talk to you about. I've wanted to talk to you about this for a while." He murmured into my ear, leaning against me.

"A-Alex, I'm just going to get a candy bar." I breathed out.

He nodded. "I know, but...this needs to be said."

Him being so close to me, and with him being here and....I don't know why I did it, but I leaned forward and shoved my lips against his before pulling back, my eyes wide. I clamped my hand over my mouth, not exactly believing that just happened.

"I-I have to go!" I said, and nearly ran out the door.

I got on the elevator and let out a sigh of relief. My thoughts, my mind was so screwed up with mixed feelings. I liked the fact that my best friend, Kyle Burns was coming but that other boy....him....I would be fine never seeing him again.

I shuddered and shook away the thoughts. I would make it through this fine, I just had to....get away for a bit, and my chocolate bar would help me do that.

I walked out the door and across the entryway getting a lot of stares. I looked down and realized I was only in my boxers. Shrugging it off, I went to the store and handed the guy five bucks I picked up off the counter and grabbed a super sized deluxe four pack of four Recees packs.

Heaven in the form of chocolate.

I went to get back on the elevator, and climbed inside, but just before the doors shut, someone else slipped inside; someone I hoped to never see again.

My eyes widened as the door shut, and I felt horribly exposed in just my boxers. I refused to acknowledge his presence, and just stared straight ahead at the numbers. I hit the floor 6 and he didn't touch any other.

I then remembered they had put us all on the same floor. About on floor 4, he hit the stop button. It wasn't calling anyone, just stopping it.

I sucked in my breath through my teeth. "What are you doing Jon." I asked sharply.

"What I've wanted to do for a long time." He said, and pushed me up against the wall, grabbing my thighs and putting them on either side of his hips. I tried to fight against him, but he always was so much stronger than me.

He grinded against me, and kissed my lips roughly. His tongue invaded my mouth, and was doing it's hardest to coax mine out to play.

This is why I hate myself so much, because of how much my body enjoys this.

"Stop it, Jonathan Cook." I said, hoping maybe if I used his full name it would draw his attention.

"I fucking want you Jack Barakat, and nothing is going to stop me." He hissed, and I took a step back from him, slapping him...hard.

"I am stopping you." I said, tears coming down my face. Just because I was tearing up inside did not mean he would ever see me break.

I hit the door button, and kept Jon off of me, until he pushed me back up against the wall and kissed me hard as the door opened.

Then I heard a gasp, and I turned to see who it was.