My Chemical Christmas
all i want for christmas is you.
"Gerard, if you're not going to hold still, I'll leave this just the way it is."
The older man gasped, looking up at the girl. "You wouldn't."
"Try me, pal." Sydney smiled, continuing with her job.
"Could you at least scratch the side?" Gerard asked with a slight pout, visible in the mirror. With a sigh and an eye roll, Sydney flipped the tinting brush around and used the pointed side to scratch Gerard's head, making him smile.
"Thank you." He said. "Was that so difficult?"
"Don't push it, Geetard. I'm not even close to being done with your hair." Sydney said menacingly, adding a splash of red hair dye to his ear for effect.
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Frank was wreaking havoc while Beth attempted to make cookies.
"Bethy," He began, swinging his legs from where he sat on the counter. "Do I get to be the official taster? Because I think that's only fair, since I'm helping you and all."
Beth shot him a glare. "You've been sitting here for the past fifteen minutes singing Frosty the Snowman on a loop. You're doing the exact opposite of helping, Frank."
The small man made a face. "Should I be singing something different?" He asked cluelessly.
Beth giggled a little. "Sure, Frankie, whatever works for you, doll."
Frank smiled and started up Have a Holly-Jolly Christmas, just as Mikey, Ray and Kaylee waltzed through with the Game of Life tucked under Ray's arm. Heading in the direction of the living room, and passing the bathroom where Sydney was dyeing Gerard's hair on the way, Mikey chuckled at the sight of his brother. Gerard stuck his tongue out childishly and Sydney whacked him on the back, warning him to 'be nice to little Michael'.
"Kaylee, next time can I be married to a girl?" Mikey whined, pointing to the red car white two little blue characters in the driver and passenger's seats.
"Pfft, fuck no. I rule this game, we play by my rules." Kaylee said, spinning the wheel and pushing her little red car forward six spots.
With a sigh, the boys continued their game.
“Sydney, it feels like my scalp is melting.” Gerard complained in a whiney tone, pushing his bottom lip out into a pout.
Sydney shook her head, rolling her eyes for the millionth time in the past twenty minutes. “Gerard, your scalp isn’t melting. Trust me, I’m looking right at it, and here, I can poke it and it stays in place. Doesn’t change shape, doesn’t move.” She said, repeatedly poking the top of Gerard’s head.
“Are you sure? Because it feels pretty...soft.”
“Gerard, shut the fuck up.” Sydney growled, sitting back down on the toilet seat where she’d been before, looking over at him, and making sure everything was alright after all.
“Frank! What are you doing?” Beth shouted, slapping the shorter man on the side of the head.
“I’m shaping the cookies.” Frank said innocently, rubbing the sore spot on his temple. “They’re better like this. Look, they’re blobs!”
“Frankie, those are penises.”
Frank fell silent. He arched one eyebrow, examining the cookies that he’d cut up, baked to perfection. “I don’t see it.” He said after a moment.
Beth smacked her palm to her forehead, shaking her head. She looked up at Frank, narrowed her eyes, and then began laughing.
“Frank, you’re such a fuckface.” She said between giggles.
Frank smiled. “I know, but you guys all love me.”
With one swipe of her hand, Kaylee wiped all of the pieces of the game back into the box, collecting the one that fell out. She forced Mikey and Ray into four games of Life, each of those times they married men and were given shitty jobs.
“Kaylee you’re no fun.” Mikey said, sticking his tongue out.
“I will bite that shit right off of your face if you don’t put it away.” Kaylee threatened, pointing to his mouth.
Ray chuckled and stood to put the game away, just as Gerard and Sydney exited the bathroom, a towel wrapped around Gerard’s head, a smile on his face. Moments later Beth and Frank came out of the kitchen, each holding a plate of penis-shaped gingerbread cookies.
They each took a seat around the coffee table in the living room, grabbing a cookie and the remote, turning on Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer and the Christmas tree’s lights. An unorthodox Christmas Eve for an unorthodox group of friends.
The end.
Thank you for reading. Hope you enjoyed the cheesiness of this all. Comment are always lovely.
The older man gasped, looking up at the girl. "You wouldn't."
"Try me, pal." Sydney smiled, continuing with her job.
"Could you at least scratch the side?" Gerard asked with a slight pout, visible in the mirror. With a sigh and an eye roll, Sydney flipped the tinting brush around and used the pointed side to scratch Gerard's head, making him smile.
"Thank you." He said. "Was that so difficult?"
"Don't push it, Geetard. I'm not even close to being done with your hair." Sydney said menacingly, adding a splash of red hair dye to his ear for effect.
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Frank was wreaking havoc while Beth attempted to make cookies.
"Bethy," He began, swinging his legs from where he sat on the counter. "Do I get to be the official taster? Because I think that's only fair, since I'm helping you and all."
Beth shot him a glare. "You've been sitting here for the past fifteen minutes singing Frosty the Snowman on a loop. You're doing the exact opposite of helping, Frank."
The small man made a face. "Should I be singing something different?" He asked cluelessly.
Beth giggled a little. "Sure, Frankie, whatever works for you, doll."
Frank smiled and started up Have a Holly-Jolly Christmas, just as Mikey, Ray and Kaylee waltzed through with the Game of Life tucked under Ray's arm. Heading in the direction of the living room, and passing the bathroom where Sydney was dyeing Gerard's hair on the way, Mikey chuckled at the sight of his brother. Gerard stuck his tongue out childishly and Sydney whacked him on the back, warning him to 'be nice to little Michael'.
"Kaylee, next time can I be married to a girl?" Mikey whined, pointing to the red car white two little blue characters in the driver and passenger's seats.
"Pfft, fuck no. I rule this game, we play by my rules." Kaylee said, spinning the wheel and pushing her little red car forward six spots.
With a sigh, the boys continued their game.
“Sydney, it feels like my scalp is melting.” Gerard complained in a whiney tone, pushing his bottom lip out into a pout.
Sydney shook her head, rolling her eyes for the millionth time in the past twenty minutes. “Gerard, your scalp isn’t melting. Trust me, I’m looking right at it, and here, I can poke it and it stays in place. Doesn’t change shape, doesn’t move.” She said, repeatedly poking the top of Gerard’s head.
“Are you sure? Because it feels pretty...soft.”
“Gerard, shut the fuck up.” Sydney growled, sitting back down on the toilet seat where she’d been before, looking over at him, and making sure everything was alright after all.
“Frank! What are you doing?” Beth shouted, slapping the shorter man on the side of the head.
“I’m shaping the cookies.” Frank said innocently, rubbing the sore spot on his temple. “They’re better like this. Look, they’re blobs!”
“Frankie, those are penises.”
Frank fell silent. He arched one eyebrow, examining the cookies that he’d cut up, baked to perfection. “I don’t see it.” He said after a moment.
Beth smacked her palm to her forehead, shaking her head. She looked up at Frank, narrowed her eyes, and then began laughing.
“Frank, you’re such a fuckface.” She said between giggles.
Frank smiled. “I know, but you guys all love me.”
With one swipe of her hand, Kaylee wiped all of the pieces of the game back into the box, collecting the one that fell out. She forced Mikey and Ray into four games of Life, each of those times they married men and were given shitty jobs.
“Kaylee you’re no fun.” Mikey said, sticking his tongue out.
“I will bite that shit right off of your face if you don’t put it away.” Kaylee threatened, pointing to his mouth.
Ray chuckled and stood to put the game away, just as Gerard and Sydney exited the bathroom, a towel wrapped around Gerard’s head, a smile on his face. Moments later Beth and Frank came out of the kitchen, each holding a plate of penis-shaped gingerbread cookies.
They each took a seat around the coffee table in the living room, grabbing a cookie and the remote, turning on Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer and the Christmas tree’s lights. An unorthodox Christmas Eve for an unorthodox group of friends.
The end.
Thank you for reading. Hope you enjoyed the cheesiness of this all. Comment are always lovely.