Without a Doubt You're All I Dream About

We had so much fun earlier today with Tanner and Kylee. This is the best Christmas I’ve ever had. But that night Uncle Toby reminded me of the letter. He sat down next to Josh and I and told me to open that envelope. I slowly opened the letter and read the messy handwriting, letting my eyes absorb every word.

My dearest Kirstie,
Congratulations on your engagement! I’m so happy for you! I can’t believe my baby girl is all grown up and getting married now. I’m sure the man you’re marrying is a wonderful guy and I hope to meet him sometime.
I’m so sorry that I can’t be here for you in this special time in your life. It hurts me so much that I can’t be there, I want to so much.
I love you dearly and know you have grown up to be a wonderful young woman whom I am so proud of. I love you very much and once again, congratulations on your special day.
Love, Dad

When I read that last line I literally let out a gasp. Dad? The second my eyes scanned those three letters so many emotions swirled around about this man I’d never met.

“Kirstie, I have a lot to tell you,” Uncle Toby sighed.

“I don’t understand. I thought he was dead,” I pushed out, utterly confused and emotional. Josh sensed this and put his arm around me.

“He’s not dead. Kirstie, your dad is in jail,” Uncle Toby softly said.

”What?” I shot back.

“Like I said earlier, I have a lot to tell you,” he sighed. “When you were born your mom was 18 and your dad, my older brother, was 19. Your mom wasn’t very happy when she found out she was pregnant but they got married and a few months later they had you.”

“How did he end up in jail and where’s my mom?” I asked.

“Well, when you were about six months old, you dad came home and your mom was nowhere to be found. She left him. Your dad was devastated, I remember the look on his face. He really did love your mom and that night, he left you with me and he went to a bar and tried to drink his problems away I guess which was very unlike him. You dad had only drank once or twice before that and on his way home he hit another car and killed a mother and two children,” Uncle Toby heavily sighed.

“Is that why he’s in jail?” I asked.

“Yeah,” He replied. “I never saw your mom since then and I never really liked her all that much in the first place, so I took you in.”

“I don’t know what to say. I mean, all these years I dreamed about my parents being these wonderful people that died heroically and fantasized about them and now I find out….my mom left and my dad’s in jail,” I said while I started to cry.

Josh left a kiss on my cheek and gently rubbed my back, trying to soothe me as his sweet words filled my ears.

“Kirstie, I don’t want you to think your dad isn’t a good person because he’s in jail. Yeah, he made a big mistake and he’s paying for it, but he’s regretted it ever since that day. It killed him to be apart from you. He loves you so much Kirstie. He loves you more than you could ever know. I talk to him about once a week and I would always tell him what was going on with you and it hurt him so much that he couldn’t be with you. He wrote letters to you for all the milestones in your life, like the one I just gave you, but I also have a few other ones like your 16th birthday and graduation but I didn’t feel like you could handle this at that point in your life,” He told me.

“Part of me is glad I know but the other part wishes I never would have known,” I sighed.

“How much longer does he have to be in jail?” Josh asked.

“One more year and then he’s out,” He told us. “Kirstie, I know this is a tough question but do you want to go visit him sometime?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know if I can handle it right now,” I sighed. “I’ll think about it for a few days. I think I need to let all of this soak in.”

The three of us then open a few presents, and my uncle being a musician had to play some Christmas song on the guitar and I played piano in accompaniment. A while later he left and I read over the letter again.

“Hey, you doing alright?” Josh softly asked while rubbing his warm hand up and down my back.

“I’m so confused. My life literally changed tonight. I’m happy my dad is alive but the knowledge of all of this hurts me too. Especially that my mom doesn’t even care about me,” I said through tears.

“Sweetheart,” Josh cooed while holding me. “It sounds like your Dad cares about you, you have friends that care about you, Uncle Toby cares about you, and I care about you more than you know,” He sweetly said.

“I still don’t know if I should go see him or not. Would he even recognize me? What would I say to a guy that I’ve only met as a baby but yet, he’s my dad. I don’t know what to do,” I sobbed into Josh’s chest.

“I think you should give it a few days. Think about it. We’ll have fun and you can try to straighten out your thoughts,” He soothed.

“I need to talk to Kylee,”I sighed.

“Leave it til tomorrow. Try not to worry yourself about this,” Josh advised. “You and I can go do some fun stuff in the next week or so, Kylee and Tanner can come with us.”

“Okay,” I sniffled.

“I have one more Christmas present for you,” He smiled while taking a box out from behind the couch.

“What is it?” I asked.

“You have to open it,” He chuckled.

There was a long and thin present, and on top of that was a smaller box. I opened up the long thin one first and smiled brightly. It was a book of piano sheet music to Beauty and the Beast.

“I just saw it and thought of you when you were little and when we kissed for the first time, after the Beauty and the Beast show when you sang the music,” He grinned.

“You’re so sweet, I love it!” I beamed.

I then opened the next present to find a beautiful heart locket. On one side it had an engraving on it that simply,yet oh so beautifully said, I love you Kirsten Grant. Love your Joshie

“Aww,” I cooed while tears welled in my eyes. “You’re so sweet.”

“I love you sweetheart,” He whispered into my ear while putting the locket on for me.

“I love you so much,” I replied.

The two of us made hot chocolate and sipped on it while we cuddled on the couch, listening to Christmas music and talking about all of these special moments we had spent together during our relationship. It was a beautiful moment that I knew I wouldn’t forget. The two of us eventually fell asleep on the couch together, holding onto one another and not letting go.