I Still Need You

July 11, 2005 (6 months pregnant).

Zara laid in bed tossing and turning for hours on end. Her baby bump made it impossible to find a comfortable position to sleep in. Aunt Linda had one of her gentlemen friends over and the two were fucking like rabbits. Zara closed her eyes and tried to dream of something positive to lull her to sleep.

“She’s mine Zar,” Brain spat venomously as he held her chin up. “I don’t care what I have to do to get custody of my daughter.”

“You won’t win,” Zara cried, “ there’s no way you’d ever win in a court room.”

“Shut your mouth,” Brian screamed as he slapped Zara across the cheek. “You’re nothing but a whore.”

Zara woke up as tears streamed down her face. ‘He’d never do that. Brian would never hurt me,’ she told herself as she went to the bathroom to wash her face. ‘He was never a violent man,’ Zara reasoned with herself, ‘he’s just the asshole that broke my heart.’

Zara swiped her hand on the switch that turned the bathroom light on. The nightmare was soon forgotten as the light illuminated a different nightmare. Blood drenched Zara’s pajama pants. She stood in disbelief for a moment before letting out an ear-shattering scream. paying no attention to her lack of attire, Linda soon came to see what was happening with Zara.

“Oh my God!” Linda screamed, “Let’s go to the emergency room!”

And without paying any attention to her lack of clothing, Linda and Zara made their way to the San Francisco Hospital Emergency Room. A handsome orderly helped Zara into a chair as wheeled her towards the intensive care unit.

“Is my baby gonna survive?” Zara asked the orderly that did all but sprint her ass to the intensive care emergency room.

“I think you are gonna be fine,” Said the orderly, “but I’m not completely sure about your little one.”

Aunt Linda stayed in the emergency filling out insurance forms, but not before calling Zacky to inform him to the situation.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

The next day all the members of Avenged Sevenfold went to brunch and a band interview, Brian stayed behind claiming he wasn’t feeling well. As soon as the bus was empty, Brian made his move. The band would be gone for a few hours; giving Brian ample time to plunder through Zacky’s and Jimmy’s bunks.

Brian decided to search through Zacky’s bunk first. Immediately he thought that Zacky’s pillow case might contain letters. It made perfect sense that the pillow case would have letters; easy to hide and easy access.

“Ahhahaaha,” Brian laughed in triumph, “I found them.”

There were only a five or so letters, but to Brian it felt like there were many more. Brian’s selected the letter on the bottom of the stack to read. His fingers glided across the top of the first envelope and carefully pulled the first letter out. Brian’s eyes scanned through Zara’s girlish hand writing.

“She’s pregnant with my child.” Brian said it out and it still didn’t seem real.

He folded the first letter and placed it back into the envelope. As Brian took out the next letter something fell out of the envelope; it was a sonogram. It showed his daughter sucking her thumb inside her mother’s womb. Brian’s eyes welled up with tears as he read the letter. ‘She might forgive me, he thought. She just might forgive me.’
As he was about to read the third letter, when the front door to the bus opened and M. Shadows walked in and just behind him followed Zacky, Jimmy, and Johnny. Zacky immediately noticed Brian was holding his letters.

“What do you think you’re doing Gates?” Zacky said as he stepped in front of Matt.

“You knew Zar was pregnant and you didn’t think you should tell me?” Brian asked angrily.

“Both of you need to stop this, “ Jimmy stepped in-between both bandmates. “Zara is in the emergency room in a hospital in San Francisco. She woke up today with severe bleeding.”

“What?” Brian asked concerned.

“We were coming back to the bus to get you.” Zacky cut in, “She might lose the baby.”

“What?” Brian asked with tears in his eyes. The thought that the baby he had just barely learned of dying was too much to handle.

“Just get a change of clothes and come outside to the taxi,” Zacky said as he snatched the letters Zara had sent him out of Brian’s hands before leaving the bus with the over-night bag he had packed the day he found out Zara was pregnant.