I Still Need You

Brian caught a glimpse of himself as he entered through a sliding glass doors. His long hair was greasy and disheveled. His face had appeared sunken in. His eyes were glazed; he could cry or smiled in a second. As Brian entered the sterile environment he caught a second wind, he was no long exhausted. There wasn't any time that would permit that.

He sprinted to the information desk, "Zara Baker. I need to see Zara Baker."

Clearly the nurse was in no hurry as she took her sweet time searching for Zara in the hospital database. "She just had an emergency blood transfusion in the intensive care unit. But She was transferred to the maternity ward on the third floor. Room 312.

Brian yelled a quick 'thanks' as he ran off to the nearest stairwell. There were six staircases. Each staircase contained 8 steps. All together there were forty-eight steps. Brian Methodically raced up each step in the same way he did the stairs at the gym. Brian smirked to himself as he thought about how all those hours at the gym finally paid off.

Brian saw a sign on the door just outside the staircase. The sign listed the room numbers with arrows pointing in two directions. Rooms 300 through 350 had the arrow pointing to the right. Brian walked down the hallway until he reached room 312. Brian gasped as he looked inside the room and saw Zara. Her gown was folded off of her body: exposing her entire upper half. Zara was holding a baby in crook of right arm as the child suckled on her breast. That was the life changing moment that Brian would remember for the rest of his life-he was officially a father. Nothing else mattered more than being the best version of himself for his child and all the ones he'd have in the future.

The moment of pure ecstasy was short-lived, however, when Zara looked up and smiled at him. The feelings of happiness turned to guilt and remorse. His stomach and heart had that awful heavy feeling that came with the memory of how everything ended. Brian had cheated on Zara, the love of his life, with Michelle, an ex girlfriend that seduced him. He ended his relationship with Zara hoping to rid himself of the of guilt and remorse. The situation turned out the very opposite of what he wanted; being away from Zara and on tour only caused him to spiral downward into unprotected sex and alcohol.

"Alright, Zara, I've got to take Bailey with me to the nursery," Spoke a middle-aged nurse as she took the new born from her mother and placed her into a clear basinet on a baby cart.

The nurse left as quickly as she entered; leaving Brian and Zara to figure things out for themselves.

"I'll be honest and say I don't know where I'm supposed to start, Zara. But you should know that I love you and I've missed you like hell these last 6 months." Brian sat down in a seat next to Zara's bed as Zara put the top half of her hospital gown back on.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do, Brian." Zara looked into his brown eyes, "I'm hurt that you dumped me without a real reason. Then I found out I was pregnant and I couldn't stick around Huntington waiting for you to find out. I was in love with you, and you hurt me." Tears streamed down Zara's face as she spoke.

"The reason I dumped you wasn't because I wanted to experience your youth, but I didn't do it so I could sleep around. The reason I brooke up with you was because I cheated on you with Michelle and realized you're too good for me Zar. You're better than anyone I know, and you deserved someone better than me; someone that would respect you and stay faithful." Brian's eyes glazed with tears as he told Zara the truth. The ugly truth, so ugly it could get in the way of them being together in the future.

Zara looked sad and remained silent for a moment longer than what felt comfortable to Brian. "I forgive you."

"What?" Brian asked more in disbelief than confusion.

"I forgive you," Zara repeated her statement, "because that's the only way we'll get over it. It's the only way we'll be able to be amazing parents for Bailey."

Brian took Zara's hand and kissed it, and Brian realized the only feeling better than being a father, was being forgiven.

"I do have one condition though," Zara's green eyes lit up.

"Anything, name it, and it is yours," Brian responded.

"I want a real kiss Brian," Zara's smile reached her eyes like it did when she was a little girl.

Brian laughed and leaned over the bed above Zara. He looked into her green eyes, as he tucked a piece of her hair behind Zara's ear and whispered, "I love you."