Cross Your Fingers

All Victoria could feel was the cold plastic of the toilet seat against the back of her thighs as she sat in her bathroom, waiting. Though she’d only been there for two minutes, time seemed to stretch out, making it feel more like two hours.

The house was still with silence, only increasing the strain on Victoria’s nerves. She had heard Carlos come in only moments before, but she had yet to see him.

She just couldn’t bear the thought of letting him down again.

Her golden brown eyes fell to the tiny white stick protruding out of the Styrofoam cup, and she wondered how one tiny stick could have such an effect on her future, on their future.

Her gaze shifted from the cup on the counter to the ring on her finger, desperately grasping for some form of reassurance. They’d been married for a little over two years now, and already, the questions had started to trickle in.

When are you two going to start a family? Are you ever going to give me grandchildren?

Victoria felt a sigh escape her lips as she raked a hand through her tousled hair.

It just wasn’t fair.

All of these teenage girls still in high school could get pregnant at the snap of a finger, but she and Carlos had been trying for eight months and still had nothing to show for it.

Her fingers released their grip on her thighs and clutched the diamond cross that lay against her collarbone. As much as she tried to hold firm to her belief that it was all somehow part of God’s plan, she couldn’t escape the feeling that they were being punished for some reason.

When she was a little girl, while everyone else wanted to be an artist, a ballerina, or a veterinarian, Victoria’s only wish was to have a family, with a husband that adored her and their own beautiful, healthy children. Though she knew in her heart that Carlos thought the world of her, she couldn’t help but feel like this was all her fault.

She was startled from her thoughts when she noticed Carlos standing in the doorway.

“Hey,” he said softly as he soaked in the all-too-familiar scene.

Victoria offered him a faint smile before glancing at her cell phone. “Only thirty more seconds.”

He nodded and took a seat across from her on the edge of the tub, his fingers crossed behind his back. Even though she could tell that he was just as nervous as she was, Victoria felt calmed by his presence. Though she was stressed and jaded to this entire process, Carlos remained optimistic, and it was his unwavering optimism that kept her from breaking down. She could see a glimmer of hope light up his warm brown eyes, and that hope was contagious.

But as soon as she heard the timer beep on her phone, Victoria immediately reverted into her usual bundle of nerves. She couldn’t keep her fingers from trembling as she reached for the test.

Noticing her hesitation, Carlos offered her his hand.

“Just hold my hand,” he whispered. “It’ll all be okay.”

Gripping Carlos’s hand in her own, Victoria gently removed the pregnancy test from the cup, taking a deep breath before she glanced at the results. A tiny pink plus sign stared back at her.

Victoria felt her eyes began to tear up, and she immediately wrapped her arms around her husband’s neck, feeling his warmth spread throughout her body.

Without hearing the words, Carlos knew. He wrapped his arms around her small body and ran his hand up and down her back as the tears leaked from the corner of his eyes.

“We did it.”