The Life of a Teenage Dancer

Dance class ends and unfortunately so does my sanity. After class I practically run out of the studio without changing. I know people are giving me odd looks, but frankly I don’t care. I take off from the building but stop short because I have no where to go. I don’t want to go back to my room because I don’t want to deal with Dee and her questions and its not like I have many friends here. So I take off running, and I just run, I don’t know where but I do. I run out of the building, run around the buildings I’m still not so familiar with, and I just run.

I run because I’m afraid of what will happen if I stop, I run because I don’t know what else to do, and I run because out of the corner of my eye I see Cameron and know if he sees me there is going to be some problems. I look back for just a moment to realize that he sees me and it only makes me run faster. I don’t look back to see if he is following me because I know if he is he’ll catch me. I run, and I run back to my room to find Alex and Dee making out on the couch again. This time I don’t say anything and just run into my room. I lay on my bed and collapse. This is not how my life is here is supposed to be. I’m supposed to dance and only dance and not be having these feelings. After a few minutes my door opens, I’m expecting it to be Dee, but its not…its Alex. I look at him oddly and he smiles.

“Dee asked me to come talk to you…about…”

“Cameron” I finished and he nodded

“Yeah…she just thought that I could help…I don’t know, its Dee, she has this crazy theory if we talk then you’ll finally go out with her brother.” I sighed.

“I don’t know what Dee is thinking…I mean I told her I don’t date. What do you think I should do Alex?” He looked at me taken aback for a moment and said:

“I think that you’re being stupid” He said and I raised my eyebrows at him.

“Listen Briana I’m not going to bullshit with you, I know Cameron and I know how he feels about you, and I think you not going out with him is just stupid”

“You don’t understand! I don’t date anyone. Its not just Cameron and trust me if it there were any guy I would go out with it would be Cameron okay!” I said and instantly regretted it. He smiled at me.

“You do like him” avoided his graze. “Well then what’s the problem?”

“I told you I don’t date!” I screamed and there was a silence between us. Until, “Alex, if I tell you something will you keep it to yourself?”

“Yeah…go ahead” I can’t believe I was going to tell him this…I’ve never told anyone in my life this…I still don’t think I’ve completely accepted it yet.

“My entire life, I’ve been trying to be someone I’m not. The perfect daughter for my Mother. But 17 years later I’m still not good enough for her. You know I don’t remember her once telling me she loves me or that she’s proud of me. The only thing we ever talk about is dance, how I need to keep in shape, how I need to keep practicing if I want to be the best-like she was, and all my life I’ve just felt like…I’m a mistake, and I‘m afraid that if I‘m ever with someone I wont be good enough for them and I don’t want to hurt like that” I look at him trying to hold back the tears

“Briana, I had no idea…” he says. I’m no longer upset I’m angry now.

“Do you understand now Alex, do you get it?”

“Briana…”
“Please just go…” I said “Have fun telling Cameron how fucked up the girl he likes is.” I lash out and all I want to do is scream because I know I’ll be regretting this tomorrow.

“Briana I know your angry, but you asked me not to tell anyone, so I wont” He then walked out of the door silently and I could no longer hold back the tears and I collapse back on my bed sobbing because of my own misery. I feel pathetic. These are the thoughts I fall asleep to and sadly the nightmares I have are less scary then my reality.
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After that night, I shut down, I started ignoring the people I called my friends and I kept to myself. I didn’t eat with anyone I didn’t talk to anyone. I’ve been avoiding Cameron we haven’t even started our scene, I blew of Shane for our Sunday Dance practice. Its been over two weeks and I couldn’t be any lonelier. I know Dee was getting frustrated with me and so were all the other people I had gotten to know…Especially Cameron. He has legitimately come to our room every night trying to talk to me, but I refused. I would just lock myself in my room until he left.

Trust me I know I’m being stupid, immature, and just plain dumb. But I don’t know what else to do.

It been about two and a half weeks since I talked to Alex and I had Saturday dance practice. Practice went smoothly but afterwards I was cornered by Shane.

“Tomorrow, you and I and practicing, I don’t care if you don’t want to Briana, this is our grade and I’m not screwing around okay?”

“Fine”

“Good” He was about to walk away but instead stayed put. “What happened Bri, I thought we were becoming friends or something” I closed my eyes. I had to make things right…I just a had to.

“I’m sorry Shane, you’ve been nothing but nice to me and I’m acting like a bitch, its stupid I’m wrong and I’m sorry.” His eyes that looked angry softened at my words.

“Its okay Briana, forgive and forget okay?” I nodded and he pulled me into a hug, and for once I hugged someone back, feeling comfort and friendship in the hug.

“Thank you Shane, you really are a good friend.”

“I know” He said smiling “I do have one teensy weensy request…” I don’t like where this is going. “We are going all out for the recital, which means no ballet, no stick to what we’re taught.” I bit my lip.

“Fine. Tomorrow be here at 10:00 a.m. we’ll get to work.” He smiled

“This is the start of a great partnership.” I really hope I’m not going to regret this.

“I’ll see you later Shane” I say grabbing my things.

“Not so fast…” He says grabbing me quickly so I have no time to respond and he throws me over his shoulder.

“What the hell Shane, where are you taking me?” I scream as he walks out of the studio and down the halls. “People are staring at us Shane what the hell is going on.” But he doesn’t respond he just proceeds to carry me out of the building to the outside air which was starting to get cooler with winter approaching. “Shane I’m freezing” well I aught to be considering I’m in a tank top and shorts.

“Oh stop complaining Briana this is for your own good.”

“What the hell are you talking about and where the hell are you taking me. This is kidnapping you know?”

“Oh shush we’re almost there.” I sigh and stop struggling this is ridiculous being taken by force who does that. Due to the fact that I was lost in my thoughts I didn’t process the fact that I was being shoved into the backseat of a car until I was already in it and there were child locks on the door. I look up to the front seat and find the one the only…Dee sitting there with a satisfied look on her face.

I’m annoyed and relieved all at once, annoyed that Dee would do something like this and relieved that Shane isn’t some psycho killer stuffing me in his car to go and kill me.

“What the hell?” I scream when I realize Alex is in the back seat with me, and I’m even more confused when Shane gets into the passenger side.

“Can someone please tell me what’s going on.?” I plead with them.

“Sorry can’t do that Bri” Dee says from the front seat already driving off school grounds. “What I can tell you is that none of us where very happy for the last two and a half weeks when you were ignoring us, but we still love you and that’s why we kidnapped you.” I sighed frustrated

“You know I have homework I should be doing right now.”

“Don’t we all” Alex said from next to me

“Yeah but the difference is I have to do mine considering I’m on a scholarship…how long is this car ride going to be anyway”

“About an hour” Dee said “Oh and I almost forgot” she tossed a pair of jeans and a cute top into the backseat. “Change into these before we get there”

“You’re kidding me right” I say looking over at Alex who was laughing right now. “No offense but I don’t feel like giving you boyfriend a peep show”

“As if!” she tosses a night mask back at Alex and one to Shane. “Put ‘em on boys no free show today” I laugh and they put them on, and unfortunately I start to change in the backseat of the car.

After changing into what I realize now is a nice outfit. The boys take their blindfolds off and we continue the drive. Everyone else is having friendly chitchat but I’m still trying to figure out where the hell I’m going. I’m confused because Shane, Dee, nor Alex are in anyway dressed up the way I am. They’re all pretty much wearing shorts a sweatpants. I don’t even have my phone with me because I left it in my room. I sit there the rest of the drive wondering where I am and what is in store for me.
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Finally after what seems like forever the car stops. But of course I can’t get out the door is child proofed so instead Shane comes to open the door for me but when I try and get out I’m simply lifted over his shoulder…again.

“You know I have feet right?”

“Yeah…but this is just to ensure your cooperation” okay now I’m really afraid what do they have planned for me. After a while of walking I can tell that were on the beach I hear the waves crashing and the smell of saltwater its peaceful.

“Why are you taking me to the beach?” I ask Shane

“I’m not…he is” He says finally putting me down on the sand and walking in the other direction. I’m so confused I’m not processing anything, until I see what he’s talking about. He starts running for the car and take off after him. No. They are not doing this to me, this cannot be happening. Shane practically jumps in the car and I want to scream as they take off in the other direction, probably headed back to the school leaving me here with that. I turn to face him and he has an amused expression all over his face.

“Hey Briana” he says

“Hi Cameron” I mutter, “I assume you had something to do with this. Am I right?”

“Well whatever do you mean. Its so common that a group of your friends kidnap you and take you to a beach and then leave you here with the person you hate” I sighed

“I don’t hate you Cameron…”

“Then what is it Briana because I’ve been trying to figure it out for over two weeks”

“Its has nothing to do with you Cameron, and I would really appreciate it if you took me back to school now.”

“No”

“Why not?” I ask annoyed

“Because, I brought you here for a reason”

“And what is that reason?” I thought he was going to say something like ‘well its our first date’but in reality I enjoyed this response ten times more.

“To have fun!” and with that, I’m pretty sure this was the start of a friendship.