Stumbling Fast.

Welcome to San Diego.

Covered in graffiti and sayings, aside from the new amateurs, the sign stood no different than it had years before. They’d replaced the bullet holed one, but the slogan was still the same “America’s Finest City”. I pursed my lips, glaring at the sign and waiting for the light to change. It’d taken well over five hundred miles and half a day to get here and the nonstop whining coming from Diablo’s carrier was a constant reminder.

“Trust me; I don’t want to be here anymore than you do.” I breathed, taking my foot off the brake and resting it against the gas as the light finally went from red to green.

The old neighborhood hadn’t changed a bit, I had to swerve to avoid running over newer generations of children that raced in front of my mustang without a second thought, reminiscent to childhood memories of trying to catch toys before they got run over and living up every last second of the decent California weather.

I pulled up to the great Morales-Rossi residence, changed after my mother’s newest and final marriage. Coasting to a stop across the street, I didn’t dare look in the opposite direction, shutting out the small childlike hopes that were building up in my mind, immature wishes to go back to that night four years ago.

With the car in park, Diablo’s persistent whining took on a whole new octave, taking me from my thoughts, and I sighed, pulling the keys from the ignition and burying them in my purse, shoving open my door with aching, overly worked extremities. I worked my way over to his side, nearly falling to my knees as my legs moved unsteadily beneath my body, trying to keep up.

I ripped open the door on his side, quickly opening his carrier and letting him loose to shake himself alive freely next to me on the pavement.

“There, fucking happy now?” He cocked his head at me as if he could understand me, before he trotted off to relieve himself, and with a few adjustments and an ignored reminder to look before crossing the street, I set off towards my childhood home.

My knuckles collided with the hard surface of the front door, a resounding sound coming off of it. I heard a skittering noise, and looked down to see Diablo at my feet as always, his eyes now apologetic.

“Couldn’t get rid of you if I wanted to, could I, boy?” He wagged his tail at me, and I reached up to knock again just as it was abruptly pulled away, my youngest sibling standing between myself and the threshold.

Gabi had grown up, that was for sure. Taller, curvier and more bitter than ever before, her Italian features were strong, evident that my step father definitely had a large part in making her. Hands on her hips and a scowl painted on her face as she studied me, I was almost ready to joke that I’d come to the wrong address.

“Can I help you?” She spat, brows pulled together, and a low growl fell from Diablo as I adjusted the strap of my bag that rest against my shoulder.

“I’m really glad I’m home too.” I plastered an all too cheesy grin on my face as I forcibly shoved past her, throwing my shoulder into her side when she wouldn’t move. Walking into the nearly dead house, the only chatter coming from the television set, I tossed my bag on the floor before heading straight for the fridge to pull out a bottle of water. “Where’s Dave?” I leaned against the entrance to the kitchen with a cocked eyebrow and Gabi rolled her eyes, stalking back to her seat on the couch.

“Dad is at work.” She sneered as I fetched a bowl of water for Diablo.

“And ma?”

“In bed, where else would she be?” I shook my head as Gabi continued. “Why are you even here? Clearly you didn’t give a fuck before; don’t know why you would now.”

“Some things are better left unanswered child, it adds to the spice of life.” I padded back into the living room, pointing at the bag I’d dropped when I’d first walked in. “Hand me that.”

With muttered words and a roll of her eyes, she chucked it at me as I started to unzip my hoodie.

“What are you doing?” Her eyes went wide after I pulled it off, the cami I had on underneath doing nothing to cover the ink that was scrawled over my skin.

“Are you always this fucking annoying?” I laughed, pulling on a sweater that covered them, the intense bright colors standing out against my pale skin in a manner that made me want to gag.

“Mom’s going to find out.” Gabi hissed.

“No, no she’s not, you know why? Because no one is going to tell her.” I narrowed my eyes, speaking affirmatively.

“What makes you so sure of that?”

“Because, if I were you, and actually gave two shits about my mother, I wouldn’t want to see her die any quicker than she already is.” At this Gabi’s seething expression dropped and I grinned with success, stuffing my readers in the bag, and let my hair fall out of the bun it had been in.

Shaking out the dark curls as they fell down past my shoulders, Gabi let out a soft laugh, finally breaking the silence. “That looks horrid on you.” I took in the pink v-neck she had on, Hollister spelled out in white. “Good luck.”

“I’m going to need it.” I admitted, taking careful steps down the hallway while Diablo weaved back and forth through my legs.

The door was closed three-fourths of the way, and with hesitation I tapped my fingertips against it, almost terrified of what I was about to find inside. With no answer, I chewed the inside of my cheek, gently pushing it open whilst Diablo simply strut through the opening, heading straight for the bed and leaping on it.

“Diablo.” I hissed, pointing at the ground, but he merely wagged his tail, nudging my sleeping mother’s form. I froze as she stirred, “Ma?” my voice barely rose past a whisper, and she turned in her sleep, glancing at me with squinted eyes and a gentle smile.

My mother, once plump and proud, with jubilant features and curves and hips that would make a 1950’s pinup jealous, was now merely a shadow of her former self. With a gaunt face, nothing but sparsely grown hairs atop her head, she was nearly swallowed by her blankets that hid her tiny frame.

“Alaina.” She cooed, a skeletal hand motioning at the bed, not even bothering to push away Diablo who was right in her face, much unlike the ways she used to curse in Spanish at him and shove him away.

“Adriana, Ma.” I corrected her, taking a seat at the very opposite edge of the queen size mattress. She scrutinized me with tired, distant eyes before nodding in compliance.

“My mistake.” She wheezed slightly, and I played with my hands in my lap, not exactly sure of what to say now that I wasn’t the welcomed trophy daughter anymore. “She’s supposed to come home tomorrow you know.” My mom had a wretched grin on her face, one that showed this had to be the most exciting thing to happen to her in the longest time. “I’m going to need you to-.” She stopped, letting out a few frame shaking coughs. “Need you to-.” She continued, wheezing and coughing away.

“You need me to pick her up?” I finished the sentence in a barely audible voice, and she shot me a look with eyes narrowed.

“I can speak for myself, thank you.” I merely nodded, not wanting to face my mother’s wrath, unsure if working up the energy for which would do her in. “Do you know how long you’re staying?” She rasped, and I toyed with the fabric of her comforter, not feeling brave enough to look at her any longer.

“I don’t know. You’re the one that told me to come home.” She didn’t answer me, and daring myself to glance over, she had fallen asleep. I bit my lip, fixing the part of her blanket I had wrinkled before I gingerly stood up, not wanting to disturb her from the weight imbalance. Sensing the sudden calmness in the room, Diablo hopped off the bed, trailing behind me hoping for some kind of chaos to come my way.

“Don’t forget you have to get Tony before you go tomorrow.” My blood ran cold as I whipped around to my still sleeping mother, forgetting momentarily that she used to always tell me things half asleep when I was little and nagging. “He’s a nice boy.” She breathed, and I rolled my eyes, pushing Diablo out of her room before I removed myself from it, shutting the door gently behind me.

“So did she tell you?” Gabi pressed in a smirking tone from the end of the dark hallway, making me jump and stub my toe against the wall.

I let out a strain of curse words in Spanish that Gabi was unaware of, ones that would make my own mother blush, before I rested a palm against each of the opposite walls.

“Tell me what, Gabi?” I strained to keep my voice calm, gritting my teeth.

“That you have to pick up-” She started cheerily before I cut her off.

“Alaina, I know.” I shot her a displeased look and her grin grew.