Stumbling Fast.

“–So basically, we need to break them apart.” I finished my rant, collapsing backwards on the bed I shared with Alaina. She was knee deep in clothing for the day and rested her hands upon her hips, pursing her lips.

“We?” She laughed. “Since when is there a we?”

I shrugged, picking at my nails. “I just thought maybe you’d want to help…”

After a few moments of uncomfortable silence and digging at my cuticles, she sighed,

“Come to the studio with me today.” I raised an eyebrow in questioning, pushing myself back up into a sitting position, but she was already across the room clambering through my piles of clothing.

“He’s working on vox, Al; he won’t have time for me,” I argued.

“Even better.” She murmured, chucking more than revealing clothing items at me. “Show some skin while you’re at it.”

My eyes widened dramatically as I toyed with my sleeves, pulling them over my knuckles to surely cover any and all ink on my skin. “B-but…Ma-”

“-Won’t find out.” Alaina continued, shooting a silencing look my way.

I sighed, gripping the clothing with my hand as I forced myself to finally get off the mattress I’d been splayed upon all morning. I dressed in the clothing Alaina had given me while she still undecidedly continued to put together outfit after outfit for herself, always giving up and starting over.

She had finally decided on one by the time I was attempting makeup. The clothing was mine, and the difference in how it looked on her body was nearly shocking due to her hips.

“Please tell me you’re wearing underwear.” I glanced up at her reflection in the mirror, and she cackled. The skirt was high-waisted and I didn’t have to look to know it didn’t cover anything, it was mine after all.

“Silly Addy.” She teased, ripping the ribbon that held my hair up and allowing the sleep-ruined curls to cascade down. I immediately covered my face with my hands, cursing her under my breath. “It doesn’t look bad, stop that.” She swatted at my hands as she straightened out my hair, fluffing it some areas and smoothing it in others. “Abrazar la Mexicana.” She cooed when I finally glanced up at myself in the mirror, biting my lip in indecision. It wasn’t that it looked bad, it was just different.

“Easy for you to say.” I retorted, but had no time to do anything else, she was already ready and grabbing her purse off the bed. I grabbed my bomber that was next to it, pulling it on as Alaina eyed me. “Swear I’ll take it off once we get there.”

“Ma’s barely left her room since the day I got home.” She shook her head at me. “You’re way too paranoid.” I let the insult pass, shoving past her and out the door. As I turned the corner into the living room, our mother sat shrouded by blankets in her rocker, just like I’d expected. I shot Alaina a ‘told-you-so’ glance, slipping on my shoes.

“Dónde están las niñas a ir?” She wheezed, letting out a few coughs as she did so.

“Visitar los Fuentes, mama.” I rambled, hooking my arm through Alaina’s and dragging her with me. I waved as we stumbled out the front door, not giving her a moment to take a closer look at me. “I fucking told you,” I spat, once we were outside.

“She didn’t see anything, breathe.” Alaina detached herself from me, unlocking the car.

We pulled up in front of a house-not a studio-a house. I shot Alaina at least half a dozen confused glances as she cut the engine. “I’ll walk you in, I guess.” She muttered when I didn’t move, kicking open the door to her car. I still sat frozen in my seat, the door on my side being ripped open. “Hello?” Her tone of voice was slowly becoming more annoyed as she spoke.

“Where the fuck are we?” I immediately snapped at her attitude, crossing my arms over my chest and refusing the tugs and pulls she attempted.

“Vic’s here,” She sighed. “I’m meeting up with Tony for lunch, now will you get out of my car?”

“I’m not going to sit in there with him alone.” I turned in my seat, facing the dash.

“Maybe if you’re lucky he’ll call Georgia.” She smirked when I glanced her way, and I swore under my breath, finally climbing out. She yanked my jacket off, chucking it in the passenger before she shut the door behind me, locking the car before I could manage to get back in.

Goosebumps rose up on my skin from the slightly chilled air, and my hands began to tremble the closer we got to the house. Alaina knocked as I stood behind her, fidgeting with my outfit and staring down at my feet. It all felt juvenile and high school, especially when her hand shoved at the small of my back and I nearly smacked directly into Vic’s chest.

“Delivery!” She announced cheerily. I glared her way and I was sure Vic was doing the same when she continued. “Behave, you two.” She turned my way as she started back towards her car, “See you tonight? Unless of course you get lucky, that is.” She winked and was climbing back into her car. I continued to stare, even long after she’d left and Vic coughed, catching my attention.

“So…Hey?” I bit my lip as I finally looked up, one of my hands crossing my chest to rub at the other arm.

“A-Alaina thought we needed some time, I-I guess.” I mumbled. “I-I’m probably intruding, aren’t I?” I turned to leave when his arm reached out, fingers curling around my wrist.

“Stay. I, uh, I was actually just taking a break.” My face flushed at the contact, and I was sure under the deep tan of his skin that his face was growing as red as mine. I nodded finally, and his fingers detached themselves as he held the door out for me to enter. I followed him through all the way into a small kitchen. “Coffee?”

I gave a small nod, sliding open the back door and continuing my own investigations. Something furry wound around my bare legs and with a small gasp I looked down to a light-colored cat.

“Toby.” Vic answered, leaning in the doorway behind me. “You’re lucky. He hates me.”

“Yeah, well I hate cats, so I guess we’re even.” I took a seat atop the table part of the bench behind me, taking in the whole atmosphere of the place while Vic disappeared inside once more.

When he returned, he held a coffee cup in both hands, shutting the back door with his foot. I cradled one of the cups between my hands as he hopped up on the table with me, setting his cup beside him.

“Beautiful, huh?” I took a sip, nearly burning myself, and gave a slight nod. “It’s not mine, I wish. Just borrowing.”

“I figured.” I murmured. Small talk nearly killed me, especially when Vic’s knee was constantly touching or bumping mine.

“So…got any plans now that you’re back?” He picked up his own cup, realizing I wasn’t paying much attention to him.

“Mikey got me an interview with Jesse.” I shrugged, staring at the grass as if it was that much more exciting than the boy next to me.

“So that’s what you do…the tattooing?”

“It’s what I did up in San Fran, what I have qualifications for,” I shrugged, “That and bartending.”

“Livin’ the life,” He chuckled. I shook my head, pushing back the curls that fell into my face.

“I believe that’s you, Mr. Rock star.” I nudged Vic with my elbow and he returned it nearly instantly. When our awkward laughter had died down, I turned towards him. I’d forgotten how close he’d sat and the close proximity of our faces was nearly suffocating.

“I, uh, I feel like I’m supposed to apologize for the other night,” He cleared his throat, his dark eyes now a warmer, sweeter color as they bore through mine. “I’m going out on another date with Georgia. I don’t think it’d be right to do so without…clearing the air, first.”

“That-That’s g-great, Vic, really.” My hands began to tremble and I clutched the cup tighter in desperation, the heat scalding my fingertips.

“I’m not exactly sorry though…for how I acted.” He licked his lips, eyes flickering downwards to where Toby rested, glaring at us.

“G-Good, I’m not s-sorry either.” Vic’s expression looked as though I’d told him I killed Mikey.

He reached over, peeling one of my hands from my cup as he entwined our fingers. I didn’t grip his hand or try to pull away, just merely let him have it. His thumb, calloused and darkly contrasting to my own skin, rubbed against the back of my hand in what I assumed was supposed to be comforting. “You really care about her, huh?”

“I wouldn’t say that…just well interested, I s’pose.”

“She cares about you.” I nodded, biting down upon my lower lip as his thumb trailed over the back of my hand once more, sending off small electric shocks. “She told me, that night.”

“I’m sure that’s not all she said.” Vic let go a nervous laugh. I shrugged; talking bad on Georgia would get me nowhere. I focused instead on the liquid swirling in the cup, letting the most important things go without being said. The look in Vic’s eyes made me just want to collapse where I was, to be struck down by some ironic form of death for the wrongdoings I’d committed against him.

“I miss you, Victor.” My voice trembled and cracked as it came out, and his eyes held mine for what had to be one of the longest moments of my life.

“You have the worst fucking timing.” He released my hand, letting out a sick laugh as his hands fell against his face. He took repeated glances my way when he wasn’t staring straight ahead with a look of disbelief. Vic shook his head, once-twice, before hopping off the table, stumbling a little when his feet hit the ground.

With shaking hands, I set down my cup, easing myself to my feet. I was in no rush to do so, and found myself looking everywhere but at directly him. “I-I know, I always have. I’m…I’m a horrible person,” I sunk my teeth into my lower lip as it quivered. “This was a mistake.”

“Can’t stand five minutes without fucking everything up,” He mumbled as if I wasn’t supposed to hear it, but we both knew I could. “I have a lot of work to do, it’s probably best you just leave.” I nodded, adjusting the strap to my bag as it started to slide. Vic stood still, and without further direction I took the few steps between us, closing the distance as I wound my arms around his midsection. My hands slid between his flannel and his shirt, his muscles contracting in a tense fashion that I could feel. Forgetting the makeup I wore and nearly drowning in the smell of his cologne, my face pressed tightly into his chest. I could hear his heartbeat and the change in pace as it picked up at my touch.

Just as I was about to give up, to start walking-maybe even hitchhike-back to the doomed Morales residence, his body relaxed against mine. I could feel his arms wind around my back, the length of them comparative to my small body size resulting in a nearly bone crushing hug. A small sigh escaped his lips as he did so. This was the embrace I was well deserving of the first time I’d managed to stumble back into his life once more, and had been aching for up until now. Nerves and small bouts of fear bubbled away in my stomach at the thought of losing him—especially having it be to another woman and not due to my own current mistakes.

I was sixteen-seventeen-eighteen, even, for a moment. Sneaking out of Mikey’s room and into Vic’s. Sneaking out of the house to events where I was the youngest in the room, always lying about who I was or how old or where I came from. Compromising modesty in clothing in return for the well-deserved feeling of his skin against mine. I was losing myself in him when the back door slid open, the small blonde head of hair ensuing nausea almost immediately.

“Hi Georgia,” I squeaked. Vic was quick to separate himself from me, turning to embrace the petite girl behind him. I clasped my hand over my mouth as their lips met, bile rising and causing me to gag. Realizing neither was going to give me any sign of acknowledgement, I raced my way back through the small house and out the door I’d come in. My heart was pounding heavily in my chest, my lungs restricted of air as I ran.

I managed to stumble so far as down the street before I finally fell; knees scraping the concrete as stomach acid came pouring out.