You Lied to Me

Light poured into my room as I layed on my bed. The emptyness of my room began to sufficate me, which was strange because the room was rather large. My parents had wasted no money when buying the biggest house in the entire state. I felt like a spoiled brat laying in this bed, my room was so princess like. It didn't describe me at all and it didn't even feel like my room. I had been sleeping in another girls bed and it made me feel as though I didn't exsist.

Slowly my feet found the floor and I dragged them to my massive closet. It took me awhile but I found my uniform hanging apart from all of the pretty dresses and designer tops. A plain while polo and a tan skirt with a blue blazer felt more like me. Letting my hair slip into a simple ponytail I grabbed my bag and walked down the regal stair case to see my parent eating at the breakfast table. Sitting down what I had been anticipating finally happened. My parents both acted how I knew they would.

I let myself slip out of my body and watch the scene unfold in front of me. I watched my mother scold me for looking so plain jane. She began degrading me and telling me that if I ever wanted to look my best that I shouldn't blah blah blah. Then it was my fathers turn. I looked at him to save me from the event and again was disappointed. He pretended it wasn't happening and kept reading his paper.

After I'd taken all I could stand I got up and walked out the front doors. A car waited for me outside the house and I turned to look at my house or better yet the mansion that was my house before I ducked into the back seat of the black car. My eyes watched the trees blurr in and out of my view on the way to school. A kaledoscope of colors filled my sad eyes. I wished that the car would of kept driving but it stopped right in front of my private school.

Faces starred at me as though I had made a mistake. I could hear some laughs as I walked past them. Once I was seated in my class everyone ignored me like I never exsisted. Home and school made me feel the same, alone. The day passed as normal and I found myself home in an empty house. For months nothing changed and my routine was simple. Wake up, get dressed, be yelled at, get in car, alone at school and back home to repeat my day.

I sat at a table by myself that fall day during lunch. Slowly I ate my food not feeling hungry at all. The wind caught my hair and I looked up to see a boy standing in front of me. He smiled at me, and I felt my heart beating in my chest. His deep brown eyes and tan skin took me instantly. He had dirty blonde hair that was cut short to show his face. Words became a loss to me as he sat down at my table and began talking to me.

The whole school watched us as he flirted with me and I sat there unable to speak. I could feel heat travel like fire to my cheeks and make me blush a deep red. He walked me to all of my classes, it didn't seem to bug him that I didn't talk. We parted ways for the day and he handed me a small piece of paper with his number on it. Running home was my plan but the car sat waiting for me.

Once I was in my room I layed on my bed and smiled, I wanted to take out my cell phone and text him but something told me not to. So I set it on my dresser and tried to occupy my time doing various things. The piece of paper became more of a temptation everytime I passed it. My eyes always seemed to go looking for it, just to make sure it was still there. Eventually my addiction took over and I found myself punching in the 10 digit number. Letting my fingers take over I typed hey with a smiley and pressed sent.

Immediately he replied texting me the same thing. We texted for hours and I lost track of time. I smiled everytime I read his replies, and happyness filled the emptyness that I once felt. The next day I actually tried to look nice, and hurried to school. He was waiting for me like he said he would be and for the first time I spoke to him. I could tell he liked it when I talked and so I began talking more and more.

Texting became second rate and we ended up talking on the phone while I just layed on my bed. It wasn't too long before that became old and he and I stared to hang out. He took me out to dinner to nice place and we went to the movies. Alone I no longer felt and he even brought me new friends. Our table was the fullest at lunch those next few months and I forgot how to be alone. The day after school he came over to my house and we spent the time alone in my room.

He changed completely and began to get more aggressive towards me. Our lips met but to him that was enough. I found myself laying on my bed and him on top of me. A place I wasn't comfortable with.

Slowly my body stopped pushing and I felt his breath in my ear as he whispered,"Ally it's ok. I love you and I want you to know how special you are to me."
I let myself go limp under him,"I love you too."

He smiled as he began to show me that he love me. I love him so much and I didn't want to go back to the old Ally who was alone so I let him. It hurt, love hurt I came to realized when he was done. Our lips met in passionate kisses and I could sense his happyness, so I was happy. A piece of me disappeared after that, and I felt like I was missing some part of me that I could never get back. I couldn't shake the feeling even in his arms that once felt so safe and loving.

Weeks passed before I noticed the change. His calls became fewer and his texts shorter. I tried to win him back by letting him have me again but he didn't seem as excited as he did when we first did it. My natural instinct became to cling to him and try to keep him with me. But it only seemed to push him father away and I felt so confused. Why didn't he love me?

I layed on my bed so desperate to get the answers I wanted. I kept trying to decide if I still loved him or not. He hadn't talked to me in days and my fear of being alone came back. Feeling more and more like I was loosing him for good I called him praying he would answer. He didn't and all I heard was his voicemail. The tears fell down my cheeks.

Letting myself cry I thought about all that we'd been through, and how I'd let him see me so weak. He'd become not just my boyfriend but my best friend and now that he was done with me I didn't want to lose him. The call I'd been waiting for came and I picked it up.
"Hello Deceiver," I said.
"Hey," he said.
"We need to talk," I managed to say.
"Ok, when and where," he said.
"Now and at the park by my house," I said calmly.
"Alright," he said clicking the phone and the call ended.

I waited for him to come and meet me and he was late. He walked with his hands in his pockets and looked down at the ground avoiding my eyes. Avoiding me all together, he didn't have to pitty me if he didn't see what he'd done to me.

"Your a liar, a deceiver, and worst of all you lied to me," I said letting tears fall down my face.
"Ally don't pretend this is some kind of fantasy," he said still looking down.
"You said you loved me," I said getting angry,"Do you even really love me?"
He didn't speak,"Well I love you, even if you are a deceiver," I said walking closer to him,"And I want you to know you never had to lie to me. You didn't need to pretend to love me to get me. I loved you the moment you walked into my world and noticed me."
His eyes met mine and I grabbed his face gently and kissed his lips,"If you don't love me then just tell me the truth. I'm sick of the lies and I just want the truth. Forget about hurting me because you've already done that, just be honest wtih me. Please."
"I don't love you Ally," he said,"I just wanted to be with you."
The truth hit me and I felt the weight of our small problems disappear and I met his eyes,"Thank you for finally telling me the truth."

That night I returned home and decided I wouldn't be alone anymore. I packed my bag and left that night. Many people thought it was because of the Deceiver but it wasn't. Without him I would have never realized how much I wanted to get away from my life. Packing light I took all the money in the safe in my parents room and walked out the door. I boarded the bus to new york and didn't look back.

The world seemed blurred as I watched from the window. My cares left me and the start of a new me came through. She wasn't one to care about being deceived and her life was a complete party. No one to tell her how to dress or who to be. I wouldn't be alone but I wouldn't be with anyone, I'd always be the wind. Never staying put and moving from place to place never looking back.