They Say I'm Nuisance

My hands had dug down into the depth of my pockets by the time I got home to the hell we call a building. It was a mansion, but every inch covered in blood and fluids that had soaked from my body into the carpet, beer bottles littered the floor and alcohol stains on furniture. It was an overall nice house, when clean. But it wasn’t clean so it wasn’t nice.

I stepped carefully over my dad who was sleeping in the middle of the middle of the floor, finding he was wide awake when he grabbed my foot with his hand, tripping me. I groaned when I landed wrong on my elbow, feeling one of the bones crack under the pressure of the fall. He simply chuckled, dragging himself to his feet and pulling me with him while I struggled as much as I could.

“Shuddup Verchooo.” He managed in a drunken slur as he threw into what I call the center of hell.

It’s where I was tied to the post of a bed with metallic chains, where I was dressed in skimpy outfits and forced to give men blow jobs against my will. Were I lost my virginity, and any bit of purity in my body. The walls were sound proof steal, the door reinforced steel styled with an outer layer of red wood for a natural effect to the outer world. The bed was large, because men with dicks the size of whole solar systems liked to come and those men were usually bulky.

I struggled, the irritation from Jason still burning through my veins as the devil clicked the chains into place and ripped the clothes of my pants and underwear away before clicking the last restraints on. I knew who was coming by this time, because dad had used the really strong and tight, really short chains. It was Thane, short for Thanatos which is a Greek name for Death… yes I have a thing about knowing name meanings. My father’s name is Addanc, a lake monster from Welsh mythology. I have found names say a lot about people.

I didn’t want to be in the room, but as the fire Jason had light burned bright as ever in my chest I ignored the world. Ignored the pain that erupted through my body and the tears that rolled down my cheeks. A glare keeping strong on the barred ceiling while my pathetic body was used again, like an old towel you couldn’t bare to throw away. When he left, I kept glaring at the ceiling. My vision blurred and body unresponsive. I mechanically left the room after daddy dearest unhooked the chains. The shower was quick, before I settled in bed in my favorite pair of Pj’s.

The night rolled by, my pure hatred for Jason forcing me to feel no security at school, my only place away from this hell whole burning the whole night. I wrote about it in my journal, the words engraved into my heart.

Dear Fuck-a-luckin’ Journal,

Fuck the world. Fuck my dad. Fuck Jason, and school, and the jocks, cheerleaders, Thane, my teachers. Fuck my life. Fuck everyone’s lives. Just FUCK IT ALL!

I can’t take it. The longer I go through this time without my brother, and mom the more I hurt. The more Dad drinks and forgets the time when I was his little Princess and he was the King of my cardboard castles we painted while Mom and Alvar made crowns and scepters out of tin foil. The more frequently Thane comes and the more I am in that god forsaken room the more I go insane.

I have to go from this hell to another- where my already soar and bruised body gets abused. Physically, mentally, they do it all. Because of Jason and his posy I have developed claustrophobia, and became an even bigger outcast then before I met them.

AND I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE

Just,

Fuck the whole damn thing.