Cross Your Fingers

The day before Stephen’s graduation party Izy knew what she needed to do. She kept thinking about what John had said. She knew who she wanted to choose but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. No matter what somebody was going to get hurt.

She had avoided everyone trying to just think and make sure she could make the right decision for herself. The only person she had wanted to talk to was John but he wouldn’t talk to her after their talk the hallway at school. She had barely even talk to Jess and when she had she made sure the conversation stayed away from the Gomez brothers.

Now she was sitting down at her desk with a piece of paper in front of her and a pen in her hand. She thought for a moment chewing on the end of the pen before bringing it to the paper and staring to write.

Dear Stephen,
I really wish I could blame you for what happened, but I know I can’t. I know everything that happened was because of me. I can’t deny that I was attracted to you. You were my best friend and I had always thought that’s all we would ever be. When you said you wanted to be more I just got caught up in all my old feelings. I thought I had gotten over you long before that, but I could never really get over you. It was wrong and I should have said no to you, but I wouldn’t want to change everything we went through. The only thing I would take back was how it all ended. You were the first guy I ever loved. It’s not enough though I can’t stay here. What I did wasn’t fair to you or John. I don’t deserve either of you so I’m getting out of your lives. You’ll both be better with out me. Please just forget me.
Love
Izy

She folded the letter and secured it in a plain white envelope. She wrote his name on it before moving on to the next one. Taking a deep breath she started John’s letter.

Dear John,
I know you have every reason not to believe me but I love you. The only problem was I realized it too late. You were always able to surprise me, like when you told me you liked me or when I realized I was in love with you. When I realized I loved you I ended things with Stephen but it was already too late. The things I did can never be taken back. I don’t deserve you anymore, and I’m not ever sure if I ever did, you’re way too good for me. I will always regret that I hurt you. It’s something I will have to deal with for the rest of my life. It would be best for you to just forget me though. Don’t waste your time on me. I think it would be best for me to just get away from everything, probably forever.
I will always love you
Izy

Feeling a little relieved to have her feelings out on paper Izy went on to her next task. She went online and bought herself a one-way plane ticket for tomorrow. The sooner she left the better, so right after she delivered the letters she was heading to the airport. She was going to visit her aunt and then decide where she would go after she was already there.
Izy woke up early the next morning. She got dressed and did her makeup to get ready for the graduation. Justin had already left and Izy was about to with her mom and dad.

“Your aunt Rebecca called last night,” he mom told her when they were in the call. “She said some pretty surprising things. Would you like to talk about them?”

“Mom I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but I just need to get away for awhile. I need a new start,” Izy said.

“Well honey if this is what you really want you can go. I just wished you wouldn’t leave and that you would have talked to me before you talked to Rebecca. But I’m sure you’ll love it there and she is excited to see you. Just don’t cause trouble, or I’ll have to come get you myself.”

“Ok I won’t mom and thank you.” The rest of the ride was filled with short conversations that stayed on lighter topics until they got to the school. They took their seats and waited for the graduation to begin. After what felt like forever Justin walked across the stage to collect his diploma followed shortly after by Stephen.

“I can’t believe you actually graduated,” Izy said hugging her brother after the ceremony.

“Yeah thanks for the support sis.”

“Anytime bro.” Stephen then joined the two of them.

“Finally it’s all over,” he said to Justin before turning to Izy. “Do I get a hug?”

“Yeah I guess you may have one,” she said. Then his arms were around her and she gently rested her head on his chest.

“You’re coming over today right?” he clarified.

“Yeah I’ll stop by for a little while,” she told him. She briefly caught eyes with John who was waiting off to the side. She gave him a small wave before leaving the school. She went home and made sure everything was ready for her to leave.

“Hey Izy are you ready to go,” Justin barged into her room. He was going to give her a ride to
the party. “Wait why are you packing?”

“Justin I’m leaving. I have something to do at Stephen’s party and then I’m going to visit Aunt Rebecca.”

“And when are you going to be back?”

“I don’t think I’m going to be coming back,” she said fighting back tears.

“It’s because of Stephen isn’t it?”

“No it’s not him this was all my fault. I just need to get away.”

He went over to wrap her up in a hug. “You don’t have to go anywhere this is just as much his fault. Actually it’s more his fault than anyone else he should have known better he is the older person here,” his voice started to get angry not towards Izy but thinking about Stephen.

“No you can’t blame him for this.”

“Yes I can because he causing you to leave. You’re my sister and sisters should be off limits. Anyways do mom and dad know you are leaving?”

“Yeah we talked this morning.”

“Well I don’t like it but there’s nothing I can do.”
The two of them left the house and Justin drove them over to the Gomez’s home. “I’m not going to stay long I have to get to the airport. Do you think you can give me a ride?” she asked her older brother.

“Of course I am Iz. I’ll wait right here for you.” Slowly she got out of the car. She was nervous she didn’t think she could do it. The second she saw John her resolve would fade away, but she had to do this it was what was best for everyone.

The first person she saw when she walked to the back yard, where the party was happening, was Weston. “Hey Weston do you know where Jess is?” she asked him.

"Hi Izy, I’m not sure but I think she went off somewhere with JF,” he informed her. “They might be here soon though if you want me to tell her you’re looking for her.”

“That’s ok you don’t have to do that. I’m not going to stick around anyways. Could you just give these to John and Stephen?” she asked holding up the two sealed envelopes containing the letters she wrote last night.

“Sure thing,” he answered and she handed them over to him.

“Thanks and goodbye Weston.” Saying goodbye to Weston wasn’t very hard she hadn’t really known him but Izy was a little bummed she couldn’t say goodbye to Jess. She walked back to the car where Justin was waiting and the two of them drove to the airport in silence. When he pulled in to a parking spot at the airport they both got out of the car.

“I’m going to miss you,” he told her.

“I’ll miss you too,” she replied. The two of them hugged for one last time.

“Do you want me to come in and wait with you?” he offered.

“No it’s ok go to the party and try to have fun ok?”

“I’ll try my best,” he said and then the two of them went their separate ways.
Izy checked into the airport and then went to wait in line for security. On the way to the gate she stopped to get a magazine and a pack of gum. She sat near the gate for an hour waiting for her flight when finally the voice of a flight attendant was heard through the intercom.
“Flight 493 to Virginia now boarding.” Izy picked up her carry on clutching her ticket in the other hand and boarded the plane saying goodbye to Arizona.