I'm Finding Me Out

Alex and I were greeted by a hysterical Roxxie and a worried group of boys. I immediately went to my sister and hugged her tightly – trying to let her know it’s okay without speaking a single word. I let go and Rian gave me a hug as well.

“Alright, where haven’t you guys been yet?” Alex questioned as he moved closer to me. “Do you guys have a plan to find Jack?”

Roxxie tried to answer but she was shaking too much to do anything. Matt answered for her. “The whole crew is searching the rest of downtown for any clues – we’ll be asking all the store and bar owners if they’ve seen him too.”

“Then Roxxie, you, and me will go up to the North and west side of town,” Rian told Alex. “Zack and Adi are going to go to the East side and South side of town to find him.”

“But, I want to be with Addison,” Alex trailed off as he grabbed my hand and I squeezed back. Zack rolled his eyes and crossed his arms and everyone else sighed. By this point, Roxxie was firmly onto Matt to keep her balance and composure. A saddened look came across my face as I realized how torn my sister was.
This wasn’t about being with your boyfriend; it was about finding our friend.

“We decided as you were coming here it would be best to keep romantic partners away from each other to avoid a distraction, that’s all,” Jeff explained to us. You guys can go together if you’d like, but we just thought it’d be best.”

“No, no, I completely understand,” I nodded as I moved away from Alex and closer to Zack. “Okay, let’s get
going.”

We all split up after I kissed Roxxie on the head and Alex on the lips. Zack and I said no words as we made our way down a dark street filled with houses and small shops along the way. The whole place gave me a bit of an eerie, scary feeling and it immediately made me want Alex.

“Adi, do you think we’ll really find him?” Zack asked out of the blue – interrupting my thoughts of fear and
cold.

“Of course we will!” I insisted as I pulled Alex’s big, black sweatshirt tighter around me. “Jack is stupid but he’s not stupid enough to totally run away from us. He loves the fans and his friends too much – even if it might be embarrassing along the way. But, that’s just life. You have to roll with the punches.”

“That’s true,” Zack said as we walked down yet another street filled with houses – looking for any signs of Jack. “But Jack is stupid. I’m scared what he got into during the time he’s been gone. I’m scared he’s drunk
and out on the streets, that’s all.”

My fear level for Jack went up a little as he finished his sentence but I continued on. “That’s true, but still. I
mean, ugh. I’m terrified actually now. Roxxie is such a mess too; I don’t know what will happen if Jack ends up hurt. You know she’ll blame herself for everything.”

“Jack puts things on himself. Roxxie’s comments probably didn’t make him happy, but he deserved all of them – and they weren’t even that harsh. She could have done much worse, but she didn’t, because she loves him,” he explained to me. My thought swirled as he spoke. Can it be that Roxxie actually loves Jack?
Even with her strong feelings for Matt? Gosh, I was so damn confused.

“Do you honestly think she’s in love with Jack and Matt though?” I questioned, obviously confused.

“Oh no, of course not,” Zack shook his head as we turned yet another street corner in search of the idiot man who ran away from us all. “I mean that Roxxie loves him as a friend; as in she cares about him and doesn’t want anything to happen to him. And I think for a while she replaced that with romantic love to get through. But, it was fake – she definitely has a thing for Matt.”

“You’re extremely observant, Mr. Merrick,” I noted. “Why do you pay so close attention to other people?”

“It’s better than getting down on yourself for things that have happened in your life,” he looked at me strictly; giving off the clue that he was talking about the break up we had. “And it’s how you get along in life and how you help other people. I’ve tried helping Roxxie many times – she’s just so stubborn.”

“That’s Roxxie for you,” I gave a slight chuckle as Zack laughed and then silence overtook us. I begged my mind to come up with something to say to him, but nothing but air came out. It was so annoying that I couldn’t just outwardly apologize to him for everything; everything he didn’t deserve. He deserved the best – and I was certainly not that for him.

“Zack, can I talk to you about something serious for a moment?” I asked him with a hopeful look on my face that he couldn’t see. I saw him look at me and nod – and I took that as a good sign for me to continue with my apology.

“I wanted to apologize for everything that happened with us,” I began. “I shouldn’t have gone with you with the little doubt I had – because it only hurt the both of us – which was the last thing I wanted. Zack, I care about you so much that it’s crazy. I want you to be one of the happiest people in the entire world; but I now know that I can’t provide that for you. But, someday, you will find someone who you completely fall for and
you will have no doubts like you did with me. You’ll be so happy and she’ll never hurt you like I did.
Basically, I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

For another few moments, he didn’t say any words. But, I could see his thoughts spin in his head as we continued walking. I watched his face for any form of movement for a good 10 minutes before his lovely smile came across it.

“It’s okay, Adi, I completely forgive you,” he responded finally as I let out a huge breath of relief. “I understand now too that we weren’t meant to be. It was amazing while it lasted and I’m glad I got the opportunity – but you and Alex are meant to be. The way he looks at you and vice versa; you can see the chemistry there, and you deserve to be happy, and that’s who makes you happy. Like you said, I’ll find my one someday too.”

I stopped my walking to get in front of him and give him a big hug. I smiled slightly into his chest as he awkwardly stood there for a few minutes. Before I knew it though, he was squeezing back and kissing me on the top of the head.

Our moment was interrupted by Zack’s cell phone ringing. I let go as he answered. I soon heard Roxxie’s loud voice yelling. “We found him, he’s safe, he’s alright! Come to the arcade downtown, that’s where he’s at.”

We both had wider smiles on our faces as we heard the news and he hung of the phone. With that, we began running in the opposite direction. Of course he was faster; but I wasn’t too far behind with how happy
I was. Jack is okay, which means Roxxie is okay. I’m with Alex, and Zack and I are finally friends again. And in that moment; even though my legs were burning with pain; I was happy – very happy