A Winter Night in Ohio

The air is freezing cold. Bodies of water are fozen, fires are burning in fireplaces, and people are wearing twenty pounds of jackets.

I love Ohio winters.

It's snowing outside. There's too much snow for we could drive through. It's too cold for us to walk. We're gonna have to stay are Drew's, but I'm ok with that.

I love sleepovers.

Before we head inside for sleep, we sit on the snow covered pool table outback. Your teeth start to chatter, but you don't complain. I do what any good friend would do. I put my arm around you and pull you close to "keep you warm."

I love to be close to you.

I may act like I'm just trying to get you warm, but I'm actually just trying to smell you're hair.
Or try to feel your shoulder under all clothing. If I'm lucky, I'll be able to feel the little bit of warmth from you.

I love to try.

Then you look at me. Your big brown eyes are staring into my green ones. You're begging me to kiss you. I know you are.

But you're not. You're asking me what I'm doing. Why am I making our brotherly friendship weird? My mind pulled a trick on me again.

I love it when I'm tricked.

So I pull back. You yawn and say you're heading off to bed (meaning the couch). I stay behind. I say that I want to freeze a little more before I sleep.

I watch you leave into the kitchen and to the living room. You stop only to take off the top coat then jump on the couch and pull the blanket over yourself before falling asleep. You didn't even bother to turn off the light.

I love to watch you sleep from a distance.

I'll sit on the pool table until I can no longer feel my bottom. My head will be wet from snow, my teeth will be chattering, and my face will feel numb when I finally struggle to get up.

'll walk by you and lean to your ear. I'll whisper four words I've wanted to tell you for years.
You won't hear, but at least I know I can tell you when the time comes.

I love you, Oswald.