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Odd Reactions

-Brendon’s POV-

That’s when I lost it. That word. I was not gay. I was not a faggot. How dare he call me that, just because I’m friends with one? Just because I helped him out? How low. This was complete bullshit. I couldn’t focus on anything, let alone driving. I got in the car, as did Ryan, and I just zoned out on the road. I drove to my house, and just left the car. No words were said. I slammed the driver side door shut and stormed angrily into the house. I waited for Ryan to follow me, but a few moments later I realized he was still out in the car, speechless. Now I felt bad.

I stood there staring out my window, waiting for him to move, but he wouldn’t budge. It almost scared me, in a way, how he just locked up like that. What was he doing? I didn’t know, and I didn’t care. My mom was home early from work today.

“Where’s Ryan?” She asked.

“In the car. He won’t get out.” I mumbled. I could see the look on her face when she sensed my mood.

“Sweety, what happened?”

I wasn’t sure what to tell her. You see, my parents are strict mormons, and honestly, I didn’t care much for religion, but I couldn’t tell my parents. They’d be so ashamed of me. I just stood there, not answering.

“I’m going to my room.” I said, ignoring her question. She looked extremely frustrated, but let it go. The second I got through my bedroom door, I slammed it shut and locked it tight. My trusty little acoustic guitar sat beautifully in the stand just waiting to be played. I gently picked it up and began playing random notes. I began to listen as I heard music being formed, a new song. I wrote down as many notes as I could remember playing, but it was a little fucked up when I tried to replay it. Oh well. I put the guitar down and went to sleep without any dinner.

-Ryan’s POV-

Was… was he mad at me? The way he stormed off like that, I couldn’t handle it. I sat there, paralyzed for hours. Literally, hours. I did not leave that car. I just sat there all afternoon, all night. Neglecting my homework, neglecting food, though I was pretty hungry. It was about 8 pm when I decided to finally leave the damned car. I walked out and into the house.

Mrs. Urie had a really worried look on her face. “Ryan, are you okay? What happened to you and Brendon?”

“He didn’t tell you?” I asked. She just shook her head silently, waiting for me to explain myself. So, I did. I began with Pete harassing me earlier, then I moved on to what happened this afternoon with Pete calling, not only me, but Brendon and I both “faggots.” God I hated that word.

She cringed at the word, too. From what I understood, Brendon’s parents are homophobic and extremely religious. It probably wasn’t the best idea to just hand out this information to her, but she had a right to know, I guess. She was pretty upset by the looks of it.

“Why were you sitting in the car for so long though?”

Honestly, I didn’t even know the answer to that question. I was just so stunned, I didn’t know how to react, and I just remember not moving an inch the whole time.

“Hmm… good question.” I looked down at my feet, feeling a bit awkward. I was starving, but I wanted to just leave and go upstairs, so I skipped dinner. I felt bad because Brendon’s mom spent time cooking it for us and all, but I just didn’t really feel up to eating right now.

I made a hasty retreat to the guest room and locked the door, writing in my notebook all night long. I was running out of pages, though. I didn’t want to waste them all on some stupid word that was thrown around at me all day, and even to Brendon now.

I felt horrible about it. It was my fault. I came to Brendon for help, and being the nice guy he is, he took me in knowing I was gay, knowing I liked him. I didn’t really see all of this coming, but I guess that’s just how it is now. If I had stayed at my house that night, I probably would be a lot worse off, but at least Brendon wouldn’t be a target at school. Too late for that one. I sighed and turned off the light. Sleep time.

-Brendon’s POV-

I couldn’t sleep at all. It was way too early to be sleeping, and I was starving. I must have been trying to sleep for a long time, though. I heard my dad come home from his business trip. He wasn’t supposed to be back until tomorrow morning, but I guess he’s home early. Or really late at night. It was nearly midnight, and I still couldn’t get any sleep. I sighed.

I sat up in bed, thinking about what happened today. It scared me. What would make them think I’m gay? Then I started thinking harder, and started questioning myself about it. I started wondering, what if they’re right? Gah, no they can’t be right. I’ve only ever liked girls. Why was I even thinking about this? I needed food, and sleep.

I lied down in bed again, attempting to sleep.

Images flooded my mind. I saw Ryan’s face, many times. We were… happy? I didn’t understand what was going on. We were just happy.
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I was able to bust out one more chapter when small, subtle ideas came into my head. It's not much, but it all leads to something, trust me.

Edit -
Oops, I didn't realize I had new comments when I posted this. Thanks guys! I felt really happy when I read those.

I'd also just like to say that my winter break ends today, so this constant updating probably won't happen as often as I'd like, but I'll write as much as I can. :)