Change

I woke up feeling completely refreshed, for once. In the middle of my daily routine of prettying myself up, the doorbell rang. I raced down the stairs to answer it. My fingers slid around the doorknob, turning it with haste, only to see Brendon’s face on the other side of the door. I didn’t have a second to even greet this pleasant surprise. He grabbed me and slammed my body against the wall. His lips went in for a passionate kiss that I eagerly returned. The front door was still wide open as we simultaneously tore off each other’s clothes. It was all over too quickly as I found my body sprawled on top of his, tired and hungry.

I was jolted up-right as I suddenly heard an alarm go off. This is when I really woke up. I hit the snooze in disappointment, but the alarm went off again too quickly. My body pushed itself out of bed in a slow, zombie-like way. I dressed up the way I had seen myself in the dream. If perfection was achievable, I damn near had it down.

Feeling confident, I made my way downstairs and to my car. I drove my way to school only to find myself a tad on the early side, but I did get a great parking space. I loitered outside for a while, but eventually walked to my homeroom class, and once again Brendon was there before me. He greeted me more eagerly than the days before, which was odd. I immediately had a flash back of my dream as I greeted him back.

The day went, again, the same as the days before. Each day this week seemed to be the same. Greet Brendon in homeroom, walk with him to calculus, wait until lunch to see him again, and then wait for the day to end. Repeat. That was me every day this week. When Saturday finally came, I was giddy for change.

My stomach was churning as I got ready much too early. It was only noon, yet I found myself to be the most dazzling person in Las Vegas at the time. My body was shaking with excitement as I was unable to contain myself. I heard a slight vibration go off twice as I checked my phone. A text message from Spencer.

“Hey man, Brendon’s parents cancelled their plans. Party’s cancelled, too.”

My head sunk between my shoulders as I let out a sigh. Too disappointed to reply, I unbuttoned my vest and threw it to the floor. I wouldn’t get my chance tonight. My whole week had been about this night, and I can’t even do that now. My deflated appearance didn’t change the entire day.

I watched the sunset out my window, wondering what Brendon was doing right now. Was he as bored as I was? I wanted to call him, but at the same time, my mood was too low, and I’d only end up putting him down with me. Instead, I went to the bathroom and washed off the mess of makeup covering my face. Intricate designs of lightning were sprawled across my right eye. A mask of red gave me the appearance of a superhero – or a super villain, whichever you prefer. I wiped it clean and watched it wash down the drain of the sink.

Once my face was free of all color, I changed into something more comfortable. Black sweats and a band shirt. I trudged over to my bed and picked up a pen and notebook. My fingers did all the work as I sat back and watched them scribble words on the lined paper. Each word was pressed deeply into the paper. You could feel the indent if you rubbed your hand against it. Eventually, I fell asleep like that, dreaming of what could have been.