An Unbreakable Bond

I pulled up to the lodge, shutting the car off and sitting there. I stared at the photo album that Geoff put together. He said he was working on another one since there are always good times to get pictures

I opened up to my second favorite one -- which was of the group, minus Geoff, hanging out in the entertainment room. All of us laughing at Fred owning Jackson at DDR. I smiled as I remembered that day.

Flipping through, I came across the one picture that I loved more than every picture in this book. It was of Chase and I. I was standing behind him, my arms around his waist, his face looking up at me. I was looking down at him, both of us smiling at each other. I as stared at the picture, the tears started pouring from my eyes.

I grabbed a piece of paper from the globe box, and searched for a pen. When I found one, I started writing the first thing that came to my mind.

When I met you, boy, my heart went knock knock
Now them butterflies in my stomach wont stop stop
And even though its a struggle love is all we got
So we gon' keep keep climbin' till the mountain top

Your world is my world
And my fight is your fight
My breath is your breath
And your heart is my heart (and now I've got my)

One love
My one heart
My one life for sure
Lemme tell you one time
I'ma tell you one time
And I'ma be your one guy
You'll be my number one boy
Always makin time for you
I'ma tell you one time
I'ma tell you one time

I stuck it on the page of the picture I was looking at and made sure it was sticking out so he could see it. I got out of the car and headed for the house, knowing that Chase would probably throw me out, not wanting to look at me.

I lifted my hand to knock on the door and froze. I was trembling bad. I wanted to just bust in and beg for him to come back. I knew that I went too far and that Chase would just tell me to fuck off. I took a deep breath and then knocked three times, backing away and waited.

I turned around and looked around, remembering everything that happened here. Bringing Chase here for the first time, the first time we made love in the shower. As I thought about all the good times, the bad times made their way into the fray; Chase getting raped ranking number one on that list. I was so lost in the memories that I didn't hear the door open. I heard someone clearing their throat and I turned around, seeing Chase standing before me, looking so shattered this time I nearly fell to my knees.

"What do you want, asshole?" he asked, his voice dripping with anger. I sighed as I looked at him, trying to find my voice.

"Geoff made this as a gift," I said, holding up the photo album. "I thought that you might want it. I'm not gonna try and get you to take me back .. at least not now. But I wanted to bring this to you so you could have a look through it." I handed it to him and he took it from me, nodding.

"Why aren't you going to sing or whatever?" he asked, not looking up at me. I fought back the tears ... the urge to wrap him in my arms trying to overpower me.

"Because I know that no matter what song I sing, it's not going to make up for anything. I went to far this time and I don't think there is anything I can do to make you come back," I replied, looking at the trees a few hundred feet to the side of me. "I do love you, Chase, no matter what. And I signed up for anger management to see if that'll help any. But that'll probably be pointless."

I waved at him and walked down the stairs, heading for my car. "Dean?" Chase called, causing me to turn around and look at him. He seemed to have a bit of trouble finding words. "Therapy starts Monday." I nodded as he told me where to go.

Before I continued to the car, I looked up at Chase. "I truly am sorry about everything. If this doesn't work out, just know that I will always truly love you and that I'll always be here for you when you need me." Chase nodded and went back inside, closing the door behind him.

I got in the car, started it, and drove. Where I was going, I don't know. All I knew was that I needed some time to myself.