Just Good Friends

There we were the stars and me laying upside downwards on my purple beanbag chair with my journal in hand.That was how i got my peace of mind on my balcony jotting down whatever i felt at the moment.It was my own personal sancutary no one or nothing could reach me i had the privilege to just be carefree the stars were my friends.I was so into my work i didnt hear someone enter my room.''Why are u so weird?someone chuckled behind me.I jumped''Oh geez u scared the hell out of me''i said startled It was my best friend Bill we have been friends since we were in diapers our parents were best friends since middle school and we grew up together him and his twin brother Tom.''Im not weird im just not like other girls''i said confidently.He smiled and walked over to the blue beanbag that was across from me.''Well u got that rite,so what were u doing talking to ur lil friends again''he smirked pointing up at the stars.''Well not exactly talking to them im just relaxing with them so to speak......so wheres ur brother?i said trying to direct the conversation to something new.''If u have to ask than u must not really know Tom''he laughed''Right so who is he feeling up in the back of the movie theathre?''i joked''Idk someone he met today at school he barely knows her name and already hes planning his moves''he explained.''How is it possible that a set of identical twins come out completely different?i said fascinated.''Even though we have everything in common doesnt mean we dont think differently''he said as he got up and held out his hand for me to grab.I grabbed it and replied''True but its so amazing how u two are the complete opposite of each other.''So which of us do u like the most?he said boldly.I sat on my bed and i examined his face and he had this weird grin I cocked an eyebrow.''What do u mean by.......like?He scoffed and plopped on the bed beside me''You know what i mean''I shook my head ''No i dont know.''He rolled his eyes''You are such a blonde sometimes....whatever let me explain it to u slowly the type of like where u care for someone in a special way you know as in boyfriend material?I got off the bed and went towards the tv and took in a deep breathe.I could feel bill's eyes piercing through my skin trying to figure out whats with the strange reaction.I turned around and faced him it was a little weird his eyes were looking at me in a way that seemed almost hopeful for my answer.''I dont think of u two in that way and plus even if i did it would be way too complicated and i dont wanna ruin such a good friendship.That look in his eye was gone as if he had just been rejected.''Oh, well its time for me to jet home got tons of work to do bye.''he jetted out the door without making eye contact he shut my door as he left out.''I love you''i said softly.Confused myself about my reply i ran my fingers through my hair and walked towards the bed.You have been in love with him since 7th grade whats ur problem you finally have a figure, ur beautiful, ur perfect so whats the big deal?as u can see by his actions he has a thing for u so why cant u just give in to ur emotions?i thought to myself as i hugged my pillow.I knew i loved him but my mind tends to cloud my judgement.I gave in to sleep and i closed my eyes.The next day was pretty akward so i just tried to keep to myself for most of the day.It was after school when i finally started to understand what bill wanted me to say the previous night.I was at the front of the school waiting for my mom to come and get me.I was listening to my ipod while texting my best friend when i saw bill and tom walk pass me.I could feel i was being watched so i looked up from my phone and saw bill staring at me with heartfelt eyes.I stared at him blankly and he looked away,I continued to watch them until they were out of my view.My mom finally pulled up and broke me out of my daydream,i threw my bookbag in the back and sat in the passenger seat staring zombie-like out the window.''Haley are u ok u seemed alil out of it?my mom asked as she looked at me from the corner of her eye.I ignored her and put my feet up on the dashboard and blasted my ipod louder.Her other attempts to connect to me fell on dead ears.The trip that seemed like forever finally ended and we arrived at our house.As soon as i got the door open i made a run for my room.I got to my room and i plopped on my bed and i just let out a deep exhale.I stayed in my gaze for awhile till i started to feel like i was being watched.My eyes cut to look at my balcony,