Only in My Nightmares

She stood there, smiling and waving as the screams roared in her ears. Robert had told her it would be overwhelming, but she didn’t seem to notice it. Flashes imprinted on her eyelids every few seconds, but she didn’t have to fake her smile. She even signed some autographs, a couple of fans grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back, but she didn’t even care.
She stood there, on the red carpet, her best friends behind her, her band mates. She was having the time of her life, and wasn’t worried about a thing.
Her band had reached national stardom-fast. One month after releasing their first album, they were standing there. On national television at a European awards show. Tears almost stung her eyes, this was her dream. But she brushed them back – this was not the time to cry.
She did a couple of interviews, telling the reporters what she was wearing (because apparently people cared about what she was wearing now). It was short, lacy beige-is color dress. She matched it with a pair of Chanel earrings (because she just loved Chanel) flats and a black lace clutch. She felt like she was on top of the world, nothing could bring her down.
Grey had to whisper in her ear, telling her to stop bouncing around so much, but she couldn’t help it! How could she? This was her first ever red carpet appearance; she’d remember this for the rest of her life.
So she stood and beamed for the photographers until she started to get pushed inside. She took a deep breath – she was so nervous she felt like she could throw up. Her band wasn’t nominated for anything, but still.
Then she heard a voice, a voice that made her purse her lips and scrunch her nose. A voice yelling out:
“Freaks!”
And then, somehow, she was on the ground, with something warm trickling down her forehead, right above her eye.
She heard a groan and realized: she fell on top of someone.
The girl scrambled up, which was a mistake since she immediately felt dizzy. She stumbled around until some grabbed her arm.
“Let me help you.” It was a guy; she noticed his voice was… she didn’t know. His voice was nice.
So she let him guide her to wherever he was leading. She couldn’t tell you why, he was a stranger and she had no idea where he was taking her. But she didn’t even think of that. It might have been the head injury (she was just a little dazed) or maybe something else.
He led her through a door into some room with really bright fluorescent lighting.
“Here.” He wrapped his hands around her waist and lifted her on to a counter. She started to protest, but he shushed her and wet a paper towel.
She looked around and realized she was in a very bright, white bathroom. The mystery boy started to wipe her forehead. When he pulled back, she realized the napkin had blood on it.
“Whoa.”
“Yeah,” he breathed, “I think someone threw a beer bottle at you.”
“Really? They yelled: ‘Freak’. I know not everyone’s a fan, but still.”
“I was right behind you. They were probably aiming for me. I don’t know why anyone would call you a freak.”
They looked up at each other; they both seemed to realize they were talking to themselves.
The girl looked up to the boy, and finally actually saw him.
He was tall, really tall, and really thin. Not in the bad, his body was just small. She liked it. He was wearing skinny jeans, a t-shirt, and a leather jacket.
His face was beautiful. He had high cheekbones and a straight nose, luminescent pale skin. His coffee brown eyes were clear and painted with black.
His hair was black with blond streaks throughout. It was spiked and huge-looking, but looked very…good on him, or so the girl thought.
She had never seen anyone so stunning.
“You’re Bill Kaulitz.” She breathed.
He smiled, and she was breathless.
‘Oh God, breathe,’ she told herself.
He shrugged, “Yeah, I guess I am. Sorry, but I don’t know your name.”
“Oh, Katrin Klein.” She stuck out my hand and he took it.
“Nice to meet you Katrin.”
“Likewise.” Katrin jumped off the counter and looked at the cut on her forehead.
‘Not that bad.’
“So why are you here?” he asked hesitantly. She spun around to look at him.
“I’m here with my band.”
“You have a band?” He choked out.
Katrin frowned. “You look surprised.”
He shook his head, and she noticed (with an internal giggle) that his hair hardly moved at all.
“Nein, nein! You just don’t seem like the type to be in a band.”
“Well what is that supposed to mean?” She was half serious/half joking. She was more amused by Bill’s expression of alarm.
“N-nein! I just – I didn’t mean anything by it.”
Katrin grinned. He was just too cute! “It’s alright, I was just playing.”
Bill exhaled and smiled at me. “So…your band, huh?”
“Yeah. We come out of Berlin, and it’s basically me and my best friends. Dani plays bass, he’s the youngest and only seventeen; Haider is drums, he’s a giant dude, six foot four and wide; and Gray plays guitar. Gray is pretty much my brother, he was the first real friend I made when I moved to Berlin.” They were both sitting on the counter, legs dangling off (though his were considerably longer than hers).
“And you’re the singer?”
“Yep.” I smiled. Her band, her music, it’s what pulled her together and kept her whole.
“Have you heard of us?”
“Of course! Lost and so alone/ Born but never known/ Left all on their own/ Forgotten children/.” Katrin stopped singing and grinned. “That’s one of my favorites.”
“You have a really pretty voice.” She blushed.
Katrin jumped off the counter and sat on the ground, back against the wall. Bill jumped off too, and sat against the opposite wall. She laughed and smiled as he told stories about his brother, Tom, and the rest of Tokio Hotel.
Katrin picked at the grime in between tiles. The pipes underneath the sink dripped rhythmically. The room smelled of cleaning chemicals. The harsh light cast ugly light on their faces. The air conditioning was on too high. But Katrin and Bill just kept smiling, laughing, and having a good time.
“…and you’ll want to watch out for Georg, he smells terrible. Lots of B.O.”
She covered her raucous laughter with her hand. She kept laughing until something horrifying clicked.
“Ach mein Gott.” She whispered, eyes wide.
Bill glanced at her frightened face and crawled forward. “What? What is it?”
“The awards show.” Katrin looked like she just saw a ghost.
He paled. “Oh Scheiße.”
They bolted out of the bathroom, but were greeted with three different hallways. Katrin twirled around to face Bill.
“Which way do we go?”
“I don’t know.”
“You’re the one who brought me here! I thought you knew where you were going.”
Bill rolled his eyes.
“There was a sign that said ‘Restroom’. I’m pretty sure we were down there,” he pointed to the hall across from us, “but it could be there,” he pointed to the hall to the right, “you know what, no, it was here.” He pointed to the hallway to the left. He turned back to look at her. His finger was over his lips and he nodded. Katrin choked back her laughter and raised an eyebrow.
“Are you sure?” She smirked.
He narrowed his eyes playfully and stalked down the left hallway. Her laugh bubbled to the surface and she ran after him.
“Bill! Where the fuck were you?” Katrin stepped out behind Bill to see a teenage boy in baggy clothes and dreads. “Oh.” He said, eyebrows raised, “Nice.”
Bill looked back at the girl and groaned. “Ugh, Tom, no, we didn’t have sex!”
Tom smirked, “Ri-ight.” He said sarcastically.
“Hey! We didn’t do any-“
“Kat?”
“Gray?”
There was Gray, briskly walking over to the small group. He stopped next to Tom, and Tom turned to him.
“Who are you?” he asked.
“Well, who are you?” Gray shot back.
They both ignored each other and turned to Kat.
“Who are you?” Gray pointed to Bill.
“Who are you?” Tom pointed to Katrin.
“Oh my god!” She threw her hands up in the air and pointed to each of them. “Bill, Katrin, Grey, Tom. Are we good now?”
“Sure.” Tom said slowly.
“Okay, well Katrin, we need to go,” Gray said.
“And we do too. We’re performing in like, ten minutes,” Tom told Bill.
“Ooh, wait! Does anyone have a pen?” She asked.
“Umm, I think I do,” Grey stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled one out.
“Thanks.” Katrin took the pen, grabbed Bill’s hand and quickly jotted down her number. “Call me. Maybe we can hang out sometime.” She smiled and ran off with Gray, but halfway there turned around one more time and waved a cute goodbye.
Bill and Tom continued to stare at the girl’s retreating figure. Bill looked down at his hand, and back at the now empty hallway. It wrote: ‘Katrin,” then her number, then a little heart. He was in shock. He didn’t know why he was so mesmerized – he had tons of girls numbers – but she seemed…special.
Tom looked from his twin to the hallway she left in. He saw his brother’s face and was surprised. “Huh.” He said.
“Yeah.”